I Would Leave Me If I Could: A Collection of Poetry

by Halsey

I can’t carry all this weight, so I must put it somewhere and somewhere is with you. You will take good care of it?

I want to walk away from my bones and set them down on a counter like my keys after work.

I hope you’ll stay. But I would leave me too, if I could.

it was on my first day on Earth that I realized I didn’t measure up, and I never would.

To find the world not worthy of your words, and to find yourself unworthy of the world.

homemaker. shiny new things but they’re all for show.

Been biting my tongue till it bleeds cry over things I don’t need. My mother told me pick your battles wisely but you made me angry at the world so I chose them all.

I hope every girl unites and they decide you’re a joke But if they are anything like you then I know that they won’t ’Cause their self-esteem levels are fatally low. So you bury your pain inside them after the show.

I heard what you’re up to I’m glad that I left.

They say children can sense dread.

And I can’t wait to take you home Where I can have you all alone And overanalyze each part of you I’ve written in my phone

I hope the air in California Will forever taste of me.

Disgusted in the aftermath.

I left my panties at home tonight and I’m dripping down my thighs.

your open fist is around my neck and I’m grinding into your lap, rocking my hips against your weight to match the ins and outs of your breathing.

If I bleed, will you like the taste?

There are people passing by in their cars unaware and unassuming but I’m praying they’ll look over and watch me worship you. Watch me work to assure that there is not a single millimeter of space in my mouth that isn’t filled.

days later my tongue feels like it doesn’t fit in my mouth the same without you in it.

when you can’t think of the right words to say and I know it frustrates you because words are the only thing you’ve ever had total control over.

It’s the feeling in my stomach like the moment you drop a scoop of ice cream into a root beer float and the entire thing threatens to bubble over. Carbonated and chaotic in my chest.

It’s the sheer comfort. You’re as vibrant as a stranger, but as warm as a friend. Like every day I get reintroduced to...

Like meeting myself in a mirror. The way you take over my entire body and mind like you’re putting your own personal filter over the lens of ...

my hands shake and I swallow hard when I realize how much nicer life loo...

I am currently seeking employment. I am a professional holiday girlfriend. I have great references and highly impressive past work experiences. I have been featured in 7 family holiday photos: —6 Christmases —and 1 Hanukkah. Specialties include my “famous brownies.” I will: —do the dishes —look through baby photos with your mother —have a long list of baby names to suggest for the child we will never have but your grandmother will pitifully dream about us having before she dies. I have: —plenty of clean, respectable dresses —drinking games to impress your cousins. World-class gift giver and wrapper (it’s easier to nail it when you only ever have to give one gift). In one particularly extraordinary history, I made a baby blanket from scratch for a relative who was expecting. I will never complain about missing my family’s festivities for your own, and I will accept contract termination by spring. I am 5’4” with a perfectly straight smile (dental records included, no history of braces) and I will fill any empty space in your family photo. Please respond before autumn.

I would give anything to be slipping down your throat.

“Where have you been?” You answer, “Where do I begin?”

WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY

I am not allowed to want to die anymore. Believe me, I have tried.

he was raised a Socialist and I was raised on violence.

We fought like animals and did the same when making love.

I’m quiet in a car ’cause I was on another planet.

Felt like he didn’t listen and I couldn’t understand it.

“You’re staring and quite frankly shit is irking me.”

I know it won’t be the same. It will hurt me so badly I’ll choke on your name. But how could I let this go? I love you more than I love anybody.

Your mother will start to worry why you made your lover cry. My father will be angry and you’ll be left alone.

I don’t look much like my mother But I know my kid will look just like me. With eyes that gleam and razor teeth, And Jordan 1s on two little feet.

I’ve got: Cellophane in the place of a windowpane A mixtape where I used to keep my brain Daydreams running like an Amtrak train

I would love to get a tan line and call you from a landline and maybe hold your hand, crash-land In a land mine.

He speaks soft words but it’s still abuse I forget when you sweet-seduce We’re in love but it’s no excuse

Tell me nothing changes when you leave me But I been making changes, please believe me.

I would protect you till the end of time. I would lie down in the middle of a tornado and cover you.

A cry full of pain and loathing that twisted his face like pottery on an unmanned wheel.

and again he would cry that Siren’s cry like a warning to all ships at sea.

I would stare at the ceiling, too afraid to let a single tear escape lest the subtle movement be enough to wake him from his docile state.

Too young to understand why she had an erratic aching wound in her heart.

My cousin and I had many things in common. The same furrowed brow, the same short temper, charming gummy smile, and aversion to touch.

And in all of these things I could finally see the difference between what is the blood and what is learned.

A nation birthed the oldest child. It’s too cold, and too mean. But poets, they hate everything. So I keep calm And FUCK OFF.

I got this bad habit where I don’t think before I speak. I fall in love like every week. I keep a pistol when I sleep inside my mouth so I don’t fight my tongue for saying all these things, like how I saw you in my dreams.

I swear this never happens. You know I’ve got a way with words. I’d put a million in a verse, but still can’t bring myself to face what I feel. I’m scared of something real.