A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
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Read between July 30, 2020 - January 30, 2021
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When you’re different, even just a little different, even in a way that people can’t see, you like to know that people in power won’t judge you for it.
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a couple had those big halberd things that look like an axe and a spear got together and had really scary babies.
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I sighed from the bottom of my toes.
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It should never have come down to me. It was miserably unfair that it had come to me and Spindle. There were grown-ups who should have stopped it. The Duchess should have found her courage and gone to the guards. The guards should have warned the Duchess. The Council, whoever they were, should have made sure the Duchess knew about the proclamations. The Duchess should have had people on the street who reported back to her. Everyone had failed at every step and now Spindle and I were heroes because of it.
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I don’t know if when you’re an adult, you can argue and be right, but if you’re a kid and you argue with an adult, you’re automatically wrong. Always. It’s a law of nature or something.
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It doesn’t make you a hero just because everybody else didn’t do their job.”
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as long as they gave us medals, that fixed it, as far as the army was concerned. You expect heroes to survive terrible things. If you give them a medal, then you don’t ever have to ask why the terrible thing happened in the first place. Or try to fix it.”
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“You didn’t fail,” I said. “They wouldn’t let you succeed. It’s different.”
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If you have ever prepared for a siege in two days, then you know what the next few days were like. If you haven’t, then you probably don’t. Well…a big formal wedding is about the same (and because we do cakes, I’ve been on the periphery of a few), except that if things go wrong in a siege you’ll all die horribly, and in formal weddings, the stakes are much higher.
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By the time I was done, you wouldn’t have had to worry about rat poison. The dough would try to choke you before you even managed to swallow it.
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It is nearly impossible to be sad when eating a blueberry muffin. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific fact.
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The cookies were grinning like wolves, if wolves were flat and golden brown and smelled vaguely of cayenne.
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She shouldn’t have had to be a hero.” “No,” said the Duchess. “No. No one should.”
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I wasn’t going to be responsible for turning other people into heroes.
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“I expect this won’t be your last set of medals, my dear. Heroism is an unfortunate habit.”