A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
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16%
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When you feel absolutely wretched, it’s consoling to know that you look just as awful as you feel.
42%
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It seemed like once you agreed that the government could put you on a list because of something you were born with, you were asking for trouble.
50%
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When you’re different, even just a little different, even in a way that people can’t see, you like to know that people in power won’t judge you for it.
50%
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Somehow it’s better to be a potential enemy than one of “you people.” At least you respect your enemies.
65%
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Hero. It should never have come down to me. It was miserably unfair that it had come to me and Spindle. There were grown-ups who should have stopped it. The Duchess should have found her courage and gone to the guards. The guards should have warned the Duchess. The Council, whoever they were, should have made sure the Duchess knew about the proclamations. The Duchess should have had people on the street who reported back to her. Everyone had failed at every step and now Spindle and I were heroes because of it.
66%
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You expect heroes to survive terrible things. If you give them a medal, then you don’t ever have to ask why the terrible thing happened in the first place. Or try to fix it.”
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“You didn’t fail,” I said. “They wouldn’t let you succeed. It’s different.”
69%
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If you have ever prepared for a siege in two days, then you know what the next few days were like. If you haven’t, then you probably don’t. Well…a big formal wedding is about the same (and because we do cakes, I’ve been on the periphery of a few), except that if things go wrong in a siege you’ll all die horribly, and in formal weddings, the stakes are much higher.
74%
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In magic, creativity is as important as knowledge.
77%
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It is nearly impossible to be sad when eating a blueberry muffin. I’m pretty sure that’s a scientific fact.
86%
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Death by sourdough starter. Not a good way to go.
88%
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“Are they doing the can-can?” asked Harold in disbelief. “Battle can-can,” said the Duchess wisely. “Very old tactical maneuver. Used to defeat the waltzing berserkers of West Quillmark, as I recall.” “You just made that up.” “Well, obviously.”
91%
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I guess really bad people all think they’re using each other and being really clever about it. And they all want to be in charge. You never see them stabbing each other over who gets to be the baker.
97%
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Heroism is an unfortunate habit.”
98%
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“Heroism is a bad habit. Once you’ve done it, other people start to expect it. If the city’s in danger again, everybody will remember that you saved them last time, and they’ll forget all the nasty exhausting bits where you nearly died and had to sleep for a week and your headache didn’t go away for three days.”
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I said, “I never wanted to be a hero.” His face was solemn. “Nobody ever does.”