Secret Admirer (Love Notes, #1)

by D.J. Jamison

couldn’t resist the opportunity to get closer to Benji, to take a little of what I wanted without risking any fallout. But I feared it wouldn’t be enough, that nothing would be until I’d satisfied my curiosity, and … something else I couldn’t quite define, a kind of yearning to be everything Benji needed, even if it meant playing with fire.

I reached out, taking his hand. “That girl was an idiot. I’d have gone to prom with you. I’d have swooned over that fucking clunker of yours.” Ace laughed. “Wow, should I be jealous of the clunker? You wouldn’t swoon over the sight of me in a tux?” “I’d have swooned over the sight of you in jeans and a T-shirt,” I admitted.

Benji was freaked. Me, on the other hand? I wasn’t freaked over my first kiss with a guy at all. It felt like … coming home.

I wanted him, but I didn’t want to want him because he didn’t want me.

I wanted Benji. I wanted to hold him, kiss him. More than that, though, I wanted his heart. Because he already had mine. Consequences be damned.

We’d had a few awkward missteps, but hell, we were virgins. Benji had never been with anyone, and I’d never been with anyone special. We’d found our way in the end.

Life wasn’t a fucking fairy tale; it was a lot of trial and error. I really hoped I didn’t turn out to be a big fucking error in Ace’s life.

I’m not gonna beat around the bush, Benji. I want to be your boyfriend, okay? I want to be the guy you bitch to about class, the guy who brings you coffee in the morning, the guy who gets to take you to bed.” His gaze raked over me, hot again. “This isn’t casual.”

Being with Ace was no longer a fantasy, but it was still a dream come true. I’d found my prince, and the prince was a frat boy who had terrible taste in television, got bad breath in the morning like the rest of us, and desperately needed someone to vacuum his floor. But he was mine. Against all odds, Ace Collins had admired me. Had conquered my insecurity, vanquished my doubts. He was, without a doubt, a brave man.

He wouldn’t do all these things — awkward, difficult things — if he didn’t really care. So, I was getting there. Really starting to believe I had the real thing with Ace, that even if I wasn’t sure why I was worth all the trouble, Ace thought I was, and for now, that was more than enough for me.

I had no idea he’d grow into such a beautiful man, but I was not surprised he’d turned into a great person. My person.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured between kisses. “Inside and out, you’re so beautiful. The best guy I know. The only guy I ever want to be with. You’re everything good in this world, Ace Collins.”

I wasn’t some kid brother; I was his partner, his support system. Maybe he’d told my brother all that before, maybe he hadn’t. But either way, he was telling me now. He was trusting me. And he was choosing me.

But I didn’t doubt it anymore. I’d never doubt it again. Ace Collins loved me.

I would do a lot for love, but get up at the crack of dawn? Not one of them.

I would do anything for love. But I won't do that!