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He’s worth knowing. He’s worth remembering. And when the world has decayed and all I’ve ever known has disappeared in time, you should know the very best of humankind is him.
He might be long gone with me, but I hope he’s immortalized in this text. Please, keep him alive.
I’d just wait here until my dad changes his mind and gives Donnelly permission to date me. I think I have a better chance of rotting away on the roof.
Like we’re forever connected to the galaxy of our dreams. I clutch the sketch protectively. It’s the embodiment of us. Of what we could be. Of what I hope we will be.
“Believe with me.”
Donnelly probably wouldn’t be beamed up with me, and I don’t really want to live on a planet where he’s not there.
I think it’s because she’ll always be closer to Xander, the way that I’m closer to Moffy. Maybe she’s contemplating this too because she finally blurts out, “I’ll go get Moffy.”
I remember Donnelly’s words as he called up to me. “That’s what I imagine in the end. You and me and our galaxy. And maybe I don’t want you to forget it.” “I never will,” I told him.
Just a future not yet written. But I hear Donnelly again, telling me it’s in the stars. It’s already written.
My heart has already floated out of my body. I think I truly did give it to Donnelly before he left.
“Oh…kay, okay…this is good,” Kinney says, more to herself. Louder, she tells me, “Let it out, Luna. Go for the pillows!”
Give. Up. Luna. I don’t want to. I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to be that person.
“Lo! Lo! LOREN HALE GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE!!”
My parents could’ve turned this space into another office or gym. Instead, they preserved it for me. That’s how good they are. How kind. And how dumb I am—to ruin it. Over what? Throwing my books isn’t going to bring him back!
Farrow bends down, his arms around me while I crumple. A gnarled sound I’ve never heard myself make suddenly ruptures out of my lungs, and I choke on a scream. The scream morphs into me crying into my hoodie. I hate this feeling that claws at me. I hate it so much. Knelt behind me, Farrow has a calming hand on my neck. He might be my brother’s husband, but he’s been a friend to me—and it’s nice…it is really nice having him here. Once he whispers for me to breathe deep breaths, my cries die like a wounded bird going motionless, and I try to take a lungful of air.
Farrow and Luna'S friendship has my heart
My dad looks distraught seeing me in this much pain, but I’m avoiding his daggered eyes more than anyone. I just can’t…
He’s my little brother who was stuck inside a decrepit, often dusty and darkened castle, and if anyone knows the roadmap out of that awful place, it’d be him.
“I know you don’t want to be here…” Xander tells me. “But you have to ignore that voice. Not forever. Just ignore it this minute, this shitty second.”
“Small hurdles, you know?” Xander says quietly. “You can do that. I know you can, sis. You’re way stronger than me.”
“He’d never hurt Luna,” Farrow says like it’s unfathomable.
His brows rise. “He’d sooner hurt himself, Kinney.”
“He didn’t do anything except want to be with me!” I shout with everything inside my heart, my throat searing and scratched.
All this time, I’ve felt protective over Donnelly. Over us. Over what we share together. And I can’t let anyone in my family think the worst of him. I just can’t.
“Shelve the knives, battleaxes, all weapons. We’re not pointing them at Paul Donnelly.”
It takes me aback. The certainty of his voice. Is he really not against Donnelly anymore?
Maximoff and Farrow exchange an unreadable look.
Our parents share a quick glance, and I think they’re deciding on who stays for me and who goes for him, but Maximoff makes things easy.
“You do know Paul the best of everyone here.”
Farrow knows Donnelly in ways that I might never learn or come to discover. That sucks—the idea that I can’t even voyage deeper into Donnelly’s mind, his heart. That the exploration has limitations and borders, and I’m standing at the No Entry sign. Farrow tips his head. “That’s definitely debatable.” “Debatable, okay.”
“I’ve been upfront with you, Lo. I told you exactly the kind of person Donnelly is, and you still chose not to listen to me.”
“Okay, but what does that change? I told you that he has no bad bone in his body. I told you that he’d give you the last shirt he owns. Right off his back. Shit, I told you he’s been kind towards the women he’s been with, and he would let Luna rule his world if she wanted to. I told you he’d be there for her. I told you they’d be good together. So what the hell does us meeting as teenagers have to do with shit?”
“That’s the thing, Farrow. I had no goddamn idea the depth of how close you were to him. I didn’t know what he meant to you.” My dad cringes into a wincing smile. “And that’s the other thing, I should’ve known. It was right there in my face.” Guilt knits his brows. “He was your best man, but for some goddamn reason, I thought you were just college buddies. Crossed paths later and decided to become bodyguards around the same time. But you aren’t just college friends. Right?”
Farrow’s eyes are reddened as they meet my dad again. “It shouldn’t have mattered. I gave you enough.” “I didn’t know how deeply you knew him. So when you vouched for him, I would’ve liked to know it was coming from the closest thing he has to a fucking brother.” Farrow looks tortured.
You and him. He’d be inescapable.”
“We don’t undercut shit,” Farrow says quietly, almost under his breath. “We know what we mean to each other, and that’s all that’s ever mattered. This is the first time it’s ever been a point of contention with anyone.”
“Neither did me and my brother. I met Ryke the day I turned twenty-one.” Realizations wash over me about the same time that Farrow’s expression changes shape. I think we’re both understanding just how much this would’ve meant something to my dad. He loves Ryke to his deepest, rawest core, and I wonder if he’s reevaluated everything Farrow has ever said about Donnelly.
I imagine he’s thinking if Farrow has seen good in Donnelly for years, if Farrow loves Donnelly to his deepest, rawest core, then maybe Donnelly isn’t a bad influence or a bad guy. Maybe he’s a man worthy enough to be with his daughter. To be with me.
“I would’ve liked to know,” my dad says strongly. “It would’ve mattered. And I don’t know why it is, but the bonds we make matter to other people. I know that Ryke and Rose’s friendship matters to me. Connor and Daisy matter to me. Willow and Daisy matter. Garrison and Lily matter. Just like you and Donnelly are going to matter to me. Hell, you both may even annoy me.” He grimaces but stares deeper into Farrow. “But these relationships mean something to the people who love you. And I
love you like a son, and I’m…I’m sorry I didn’t take your word beforehand. I’m sorry I’m an ass. I’ve been an ass. You deserved a father-in-law who listened, and I didn’t. But I promise, I’m going to try from now on.”
“I’m going to hate knowing that’s all it would’ve taken for you to believe me earlier, because I would’ve done anything, Lo. I would’ve done anything for him.” His Adam’s apple bobs against his neck tattoos, and he scrapes another hand through his hair. “There is something that I thought would’ve made a difference—but it was never that.”
“I’ve been wishing I could give you the slam-dunk: the reason you’d actually feel like shit for ever hating Donnelly, but I couldn’t. Because I love that motherfucker, and when he tells me not to say shit to you, I don’t say shit to you, but you need to ask him. At some point. You need him to tell you everything he’s done.”
He’s been giving Scottie his paycheck, and as far as I know, my dad has no clue Donnelly has been broke for Moffy’s son.
“His family is dangerous, Luna. There are no buts. I’m handling this with Donnelly. It’s the team-up no one saw coming, especially me.” He touches his chest. “It’s Cyclops and Peepers.”
“This is a solo slaughtering, little Slytherin.”
“How exactly is he helping?” Farrow questions, more ire in his stance. “We’re working on it. If you want to join, I might accept your membership. We’ll see.”
“You said you’re going to protect him, Lo. So if your fucking plan is to send him back to South Philly to speak to his father, you better not hang him out to dry. Or else I’ll have a problem with you.” Dad wears another half-smile. “Spoken like a true brother.” “I’m serious.” “As am I.” He shifts his weight, his sarcasm replaced with real gravity. “I’m going to protect him. I promise you that.”
Right now, I really want to see Donnelly, to know he’s still in my orbit and hasn’t rocketed to another solar system.
Too afraid to unlock the screen and see social media, I just stare at the time and a pic of me and Donnelly in our shared bathroom. A mirror selfie: his inked arm is resting on my head while I show off my green tongue piercing. He’s flashing his silver nipple ring.
Donnelly has made me feel like my galaxy is the happiest, most exhilarating place to be, even if I’m the only one there.” I drop my head and gaze back at our photo. “He treats me like I’m his moon. His stars. Like I’m the person who makes him glad it’s today and there’ll be a tomorrow, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been that for anyone who’s not my family.”
I’m someone worth something. And he’s worth everything to me.
