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If you ever find this, you should know there are good people on Earth. He’s worth knowing. He’s worth remembering. And when the world has decayed and all I’ve ever known has disappeared in time, you should know the very best of humankind is him.
Read this. (I hope you understand my language.) He might be long gone with me, but I hope he’s immortalized in this text. Please, keep him alive.
“Believe with me.” I whisper in the night, “I want to.” Oh, how I want to.
Some of my very first trips to my roof were in pursuit of being taken away by extraterrestrial life. By you, unearthly reader. Not only to see a new planet. New galaxy. But I felt like the only way to escape my problems was to leave this planet. The idea of being kidnapped and swept away somewhere better had this dark allure.
“The aliens aren’t coming for you,” she deadpans. “But if you fall off the roof, you will turn into a ghost.” She sounds so much like our dad.
But I hear Donnelly again, telling me it’s in the stars. It’s already written. I’m trying to believe.
“I know you don’t want to be here…” Xander tells me. “But you have to ignore that voice. Not forever. Just ignore it this minute, this shitty second.” This minute. This second. I inhale slowly. “Small hurdles, you know?” Xander says quietly. “You can do that. I know you can, sis. You’re way stronger than me.”
“I would’ve liked to know,” my dad says strongly. “It would’ve mattered. And I don’t know why it is, but the bonds we make matter to other people. I know that Ryke and Rose’s friendship matters to me. Connor and Daisy matter to me. Willow and Daisy matter. Garrison and Lily matter. Just like you and Donnelly are going to matter to me. Hell, you both may even annoy me.” He grimaces but stares deeper into Farrow. “But these relationships mean something to the people who love you. And I love you like a son, and I’m…I’m sorry I didn’t take your word beforehand. I’m sorry I’m an ass. I’ve been an
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“Dad told me that it’s okay if I never had friends. He said that I’m the queen of my own galaxy, and after so many years, I’ve realized there are people in the universe who make you feel at home. Donnelly has made me feel like my galaxy is the happiest, most exhilarating place to be, even if I’m the only one there.” I drop my head and gaze back at our photo. “He treats me like I’m his moon. His stars. Like I’m the person who makes him glad it’s today and there’ll be a tomorrow, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been that for anyone who’s not my family.” I’m important to someone. I’m not a failure.
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Love that endures together is the toughest love. The strongest. I want that. I want love that survives with me. ‘Cause I know I’m gonna survive in the end. No matter what.
Heroes fail all the time. It won’t change how I see you, Donnelly.”
“You’re human,” I whisper. “You’re my human hero. And there is no one stronger than you.”
it’s not desire consuming all logic, all thought. It’s all of me—Paul Donnelly—realizing those phrases aren’t rightly made for someone like me, for the cockroaches who aren’t gonna count on tomorrow when you know you already have this moment. And it might be the only one. I’m not wasting anything. I’ve never been good at that. If I were, I would’ve never gone down on Luna two years ago. And some people might say they’re mistakes I keep making over and over again, but if they’re mistakes, then why don’t I regret them more?
It’s the part that I should learn to shut off, but I’m selling my soul every second I’m back in South Philly with my dad, so the least I could do is return to my soul by being with Luna. Give myself that. And I do.
“I’m borrowing them then,” I say. “I’m giving them back when you’re ready.” “What if I’m never ready for anyone to read them again?” she asks quietly. “Then I’ll be your only reader, and that’s alright.”
My parents—their souls were intertwined. In my life, their love had always been one-of-a-kind. Stuff of legend and fanfiction, and the fact that it was my reality, that I got to be raised by two soul mates, was a treasure I wouldn’t trade for anything. Not even dirt from Mars or the guarantee I’d write the best sci-fi novel in the world. It was that precious to me.

