You Have a Match

by Emma Lord

Maybe it’s why we’ve always kind of gravitated to each other. I pull Leo off the ledges of his thought spirals. He pulls me off literal ledges. We’ve got each other’s backs.

Feelings were always easier in the abstract, like the breathless moment the skateboard tilted down the big hill in my neighborhood, or the reassuring way Connie squeezed my hand between our desks before a big test. Words always fell short. Made the feeling cheap. Some things, I think, there weren’t supposed to be words for at all.

I was prepared to lose him, maybe. But I wasn’t prepared for what happens after the losing.

“We’re contacting our lawyer the minute we get off this island.”

SHE IS THE WORST, HOW COULD SHE KEEP MAGGIE APPART FROM SAVANNAH AFTER MAGGIE'S HUSBAND GOT BETTER? RICH ENTITLED B**** THAT SHOUTS LAWYER TO PUT IN JAIL THE ONE PERSON THAT HELPED HER WHEN SHE NEEDED THE MOST JUST SO SHE COULD STEAL A BABY, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS IS, THIS IS KIDNAPING. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SAVANNAH CAN BE OK WITH WHAT PIETRA DID.

“Tell her how you gave her to us, and then you changed your mind. Handed her to us, then scooped her up from the nursery and left the goddamn hospital with her.”

IT WAS HER RIGHT TO CHANGE HER MIND! SHE ONLY GAVE SAVANNAH BECAUSE SHE TOUGHT HER HUSBAND WAS GOING TO DIE! PIETRA IS THE WORST! AND, AGAIN, SHE DID THIS TO HER SUPPOSED BEST FRIEND!!!!!!

Pietra shakes her head, unwilling to hear it. “I knew I couldn’t have kids. I waited my whole life for her. And she was mine—the moment you asked me to take her. Before she was born. She was mine.”

NO, SHE WASN'T YOURS!!!!! HER PARENTS WANTED HER BACK!!!!!! THEIR DECISION WAS BASED ON SOMETHING THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!!!!!! THIS IS SO WRONG, SO SO WRONG

“The terror of losing her. That you would win, and get her back. You can’t imagine what it was like.”

BULL S*** THIS IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT!!!!!! THIS IS AN ENTITLED RICH WOMAN COMPLAINING THAT LIFE ISN'T FAIR INSTEAD OF DOING WHAT WAS RIGHT!!!!!! NO JUDGE IN THE WORLD WOULD AGREE WITH HER, UNLESS SHE PAID A LOT OF MONEY FOR IT

“But you could have other kids,” says Pietra.

SHE IS SO SELFISH!!!!!!! YOU COULD BUY ANOTHER PIECE OF CAKE AS WELL, YOU ENTITLED RICH WOMAN!!!!!

All four adults’ heads swivel to me, which is how I realize I’ve said the words out loud. “I wasn’t an accident.”

AND THIS IS THE GREATEST PROBLEM IN THIS CONVERSATION????? SAVANNAH, ABBY AND MAGGIE SHOULD GIVE THE FINGER TO PIETRA, AND CUT TIES!!!!! I AM SO, SOOOOOO ANGRY AT THIS CHARACTER

Our eyes meet and the moment stamps itself to my heart, taking up a permanent place in me before it’s over, and I hear Poppy’s voice in my head—If you learn to capture a feeling, it’ll always be louder than words.