He had never handled Gam’s injuries and illnesses well. Whenever Gam was suffering, my grandfather would say something like “Everything’s great. Right, Toots? You just have to think positive,” and then leave the room as quickly as possible, leaving her alone to deal with her pain. Sometimes Gam forced herself to say, “Yes, Fred.” Usually she said nothing, clenched her jaw, and struggled to keep from crying. My grandfather’s relentless insistence that everything was “great” left no room for any other feelings.