Solutions and Other Problems

by Allie Brosh

This is not what I’d been trying to accomplish. I didn’t even realize it was possible. That’s the scary thing about decisions: you don’t know what they are when you’re making them.

For the sake of trust building, the third chapter will follow the second. But then we will jump directly to chapter five, do you understand? No chapter four. Why? Because sometimes things don’t go like they should. This is an inescapable property of reality, which we all must learn to accept. There just isn’t enough power in the universe for everybody to have all of it.

To this day, it’s a source of inspiration. If a friendship can survive all that, that’s a crazy friendship. Imagine having a friendship like that. Like, Hey there, pal… looks like you’re having a weird day, so I understand if you need to trap me in a sleeping bag and rub the inside of a banana peel on me until I admit that my name is Dance Pony. Of course I understand. I mean… that happens. Honestly, I’m probably gonna do that to you too sometimes. No big deal. You’re my best friend.

You might be thinking, Why, though? Why is the person who does that somebody’s best friend? Because that’s intimacy, Buckaroos. Somebody who understands exactly how weird you are, and you understand exactly how weird they are, and you’re in a sort of mutually beneficial hostage situation.