Mostly Harmless (Hitchhiker's Guide, #5)

by Douglas Adams

‘You don’t understand how important this is,’ he said. ‘What? You mean my daughter out there all alone in the Galaxy? You think I don’t—’ ‘Can we feel sorry for the Galaxy later?’ said Ford. ‘This is very, very serious indeed. The Guide has been taken over. It’s been bought out.’ Arthur leapt up. ‘Oh very serious,’ he shouted. ‘Please fill me in straight away on some corporate publishing politics! I can’t tell you how much it’s been on my mind of late!’ ‘You don’t understand! There’s a whole new Guide!’ ‘Oh!’ shouted Arthur again. ‘Oh! Oh! Oh! I’m incoherent with excitement! I can hardly wait for it to come out to find out which are the most exciting spaceports to get bored hanging about in in some globular cluster I’ve never heard of. Please, can we rush to a store that’s got it right this very instant?’ Ford narrowed his eyes. ‘This is that thing you call sarcasm, isn’t it?’ ‘Do you know,’ bellowed Arthur, ‘I think it is. I really think it might just be a crazy little thing called sarcasm seeping in at the edges of my manner of speech! Ford, I have had a fucking bad night! Will you please try and take that into account while you consider what fascinating bits of badger-sputumly inconsequential trivia to assail me with next?’