You're Too Good to Feel This Bad: An Orthodox Approach to Living an Unorthodox Life

by Nate Dallas

We should listen more and speak less. Even if you love your platform and want others to join you there, people will not come without a very compelling reason. That reason would be an example of someone who is living an attractive, fruitful life. Like a wise man once told me after we witnessed a heated theological debate, “No one comes to Jesus because they lost an argument.” Intolerant rage is not attracting anyone to your point of view, nor is it assisting your journey. Before people are willing to come to your school of thinking, they will need to see a compelling and beautiful life.

Be merciful to others. Mind your own business. The only thing we should compare is where we are now and where we were last year.

Mindset influences emotions. Emotions influence actions. Actions determine character. Choosing a superior way to see and interpret the world quickly contributes to the evolution of our best self.

The bizarre thing is that if we cannot get the world to see us, pay attention to us, or affirm us, we will still find a way to meet the need alone. We have the capacity to make ourselves feel important with our own internal dialog. Self-pity, depression, and anxiety can all fill the need for significance too.

We love our problems because they protect us from scrutiny.

If we are not growing, we know deep down that we are wasting. Not living up to our full potential hurts us.

Think about a recurring thought or behavior of your own that you despise. What needs could it be meeting? What would it take to get rid of

If we desire to master self, to achieve growth, and to contribute more, we must press on. Take courage to face yourself. Strip down the persona, which is the fake, manufactured self, and discover your true self. Rewrite the story.

To better understand self and be able to make positive, permanent change, we must take 100% ownership of our emotions. If we fail to take ownership, we set ourselves in a position to remain a victim.

One of the only things we can control in life is our effort. We must keep pushing.

Some of us use the office to hide, to avoid harder, more emotionally intense work, like being a good spouse, parent, or friend.

You don’t have to have the flu to take a day off. Take one for a superior reason, one that could prevent the flu.

Many of us have false expectations about the process and give up too early.

Like anything else of value in life, we must be willing to suck at it before we can be any good at it.

A fruit tree requires cutting to yield the most fruit. Pruning the excess limbs and leaves allows all the resources to be channeled to the most desirable parts, allowing them to mature and be enjoyed. Ignore or forget to trim the tree, and you’ll get less quality fruit. What I have learned about growing fruit, and also cultivating peace, is that many good things need to be removed to make room for better things.

Maybe we are afraid of freedom because it demands responsibility. It may scare us to raise our standards and be accountable to them.

As far as I could tell, most scales tipped severely in one direction. I noticed that people who made $40,000 per year, retired at roughly the same age as people that made $125,000. They had approximately the same work schedules too. The folks that made $200,000 didn’t stop working any sooner than the people who made $450,000. They didn’t finish the day, the workweek, or even their careers any earlier. The likely explanation for this is that people’s lifestyles tend to elevate in direct parallel to their incomes. It’s easy to see, but why is it so common? Is there never an arrival destination or a place of contentment?

became okay with the idea of other people making more money than me; I just wanted to work with less stress and anxiety.

Do not entertain malice or envy for people ahead of you. There is no magic pill. You must be willing to suck at anything before you expect to do anything well. Work it out. Welcome the struggle and failures along the trail. They are necessary. Don’t fret about setbacks. Past mistakes are bruises, not tattoos. They are also the best teachers. Learn, grow, and keep moving.

Measure results and celebrate your progress along the way.

Define your desires and write them down. Then make smart plans and execute them. Assess the results as you go, modifying systems, and implementing improvements.

The initial plan is to establish a stable routine where income heavily outweighs expenses. The list of target costs includes necessary bills, healthcare, emergency funds, debt elimination, retirement investing, family needs, and a stash for recreation and leisure. The secondary plan is to use multiplication, not addition, to grow the money.

the pain of not doing what we need to do is far worse than the pain of doing

We can eliminate much of the senseless work we are doing in this comparative arena by understanding one simple truth. It’s not our job to compare, sort, judge, and make predictions on everyone else’s success. It’s our job to do our job, regardless of the current landscape or our interpretation of it. The sooner we can stop playing these games, the sooner we can find our niche and some peace. So, what is your current job? What work should you be doing with intense focus? Whether you are a student, an entrepreneur, a salaried employee, or an hourly laborer, there is some task in front of you. We need to execute at the highest level.

The process of work optimization requires some creative thinking, but mostly honesty and grit.

When there is enough money invested so you can live off of interest and dividends, without ever dipping back into the main principle, you have arrived.

For an honest over-achiever, there is only one path forward. Solidify your target and go. There is plenty of work to be done. Fortunately, your best self will continue to signal to your current self, presenting reminders and offering opportunities to prevent complacency. Don’t ignore those messages. You have an undeniable calling to something greater. Don’t hide from it. Take courage and answer the call. You’re too good to feel this bad.