More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“I’m nervous, but I’ll do you proud.” Padmé took her hand and squeezed it. “I know you will,” Padmé said. “Whatever happens, I know you will.”
Instead, when Padmé held out her arms, Saché hesitated for a moment—too aware of her own smell—and then wrapped her arms around her. “I’m so glad,” Padmé said. “I’m so glad.” Eirtaé and Rabé hugged them as well. Saché wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
The moment Padmé stepped in front of her, Sabé knew that she had failed. Sabé was always supposed to stand between the Queen and danger, and not only had she faltered in her task, she had stood there and gaped as Padmé walked forward. It was her moment, and she had let it slip right through her fingers.
“You know, most of the time I’m okay with being second best,” Sabé said. She looked at Padmé and saw her friend’s face, not the Queen’s disappointed understanding.
But sometimes I know I could have done better, and by the time I’ve figured out how, it’s too late. I hate that. I feel like I failed you.” “And I feel like I failed you,” Padmé said. “We only prepped one speech. I should have been more flexible when we were getting ready.” Sabé straightened. “I hadn’t thought of it that way,” she admitted. “It’s in our natures to blame ourselves, I think,” Padmé said. “That’s definitely one way we are the same.”
“Sabé,” Padmé said seriously. “You might die.” “I know,” Sabé said. “That’s always been part of the job.” “But it’s for real this time,” Padmé said. “Before, if we died we were all going together, blown up on the royal starship or something. But you’ll be alone. You’ll be exposed. And you’ll be Amidala.” “I know,” Sabé said.
“What’s your name?” someone asked. She turned. It was Anakin Skywalker, looking at her quite directly. Neither of the Jedi had asked. “Sabé,” she told him. There was no reason to keep it a secret. He would leave and she would probably never hear of him again. “It’s good to meet you, Sabé,” he said. “Thank you for keeping her safe.” Qui-Gon called out for him, and he wandered off. Sabé was oddly touched.
A Jedi funeral was a solemn affair, and Padmé knew that it was a great honor for the Naboo to be trusted to see to his remains. She wore the dark purple dress again, but this time instead of Sabé’s hands alone, those of all of the handmaidens dressed her.
The Jedi Master had trusted her when he knew she was keeping secrets, had let her try to keep control of a wildly unpredictable situation, and had respected her judgment enough to at least listen to her arguments. She would never get to thank him for any of that. They would never look back at what they had experienced together and find the lighter side of it. It would always be an open wound.
Once, the music she played had filled her heart while the knowledge of her shortcomings had drained it. But she knew better now. With her friends around her and the clear Naboo sky above, she started to play.
The girl in the white dress had her mother’s brain and her father’s heart, and a spark that was entirely her own. Brilliance and direction and compassion as bright as the stars. But now she was alone, and no one could help her. Whatever happened next, however it was recorded and remembered, she was entirely on her own.
From the time she was small, she had wanted to help. Her father was often gone offworld, and it wasn’t until she was sixteen that she tried to take action on her own. It hadn’t ended particularly well, but she had learned a valuable lesson and gained the trust of her parents in the process. When she’d stood at the top of Appenza Peak, her planet stretching out from her in beautiful blues and greens as far as she could see, she had known she would never see anything quite so beautiful as home.