Confessions on the 7:45

by Lisa Unger

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” —George Orwell, 1984

Her sister was fond of saying how there was no justice beyond what you delivered yourself.

Arrested development. When a person stops maturing at a point of trauma, grief, or at a place in her life when she felt the profound and total loss of love from a primary caregiver.

People communicated in the little things. Most people didn’t even realize how the smallest details spoke volumes.

The grift. The con. It was almost an old-fashioned idea, the stuff of noir novels and black-and-white movies.

Did it require more strength to stay in a bad marriage, or to walk away?

People didn’t fall in love with other people. They fell in love with how other people made them feel about themselves. And so, it was easy to get someone to love you—if you knew how they wanted to feel.

At the end of the day, when you close your eyes before sleep, think about it. What do we all want? We want to love and be loved. We want to belong. We want to see the world, but we want to go home to the embrace of people who care. That’s all there is. There isn’t more.”

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.” —Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac

In the spotlessly clean kitchen, he nuked the lasagna Claire had left for him and ate way more than he would have if she’d been there. After he’d finished, going back for seconds and even thirds—Claire would have called him out on his stress eating. He always had a huge appetite after a bad day. After the lasagna, he inhaled a half a box of Girl Scout cookies—Tagalongs—then cleaned up the mess like a good husband.

It happens… 😂

He and his dad, they didn’t see eye to eye on most things, never really had the chemistry that Hunter had effortlessly with his own children. That was the way of it sometimes. He knew the old man did his best.

When we narrate our experience, we take control of it. And in controlling the story of our past, we can create a better future.