More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

by Elaine Welteroth

I wish I could go back now and revise that Crocodile Dundee career motto that is still floating around on the internet with my byline. Now, at thirty-two, better advice would be: “Bite off only what you can chew. Take one bite at a time. Chew thoroughly. Swallow fully. Breathe. Make room for the next bite. Find time to laugh. It’s better for digestion.” Not as pithy, I know. But this is the mind-set of a marathoner, the pace of someone who understands the difference between a sprint toward short-term wins and the stamina required for long-term success. Growing a sustainable career that withstands the test of time requires consistent energy that builds momentum over time. But when you have been running nonstop on a hamster wheel toward a goal with blinders on, you might not know how to slow down, let alone get off. Even when you need to.

But your body and soul have a way of telling you when the music is changing.

I have always had a hard time letting go of things, whether it’s my stubborn habit of attempting to reseal a chipped nail with a top coat or allowing boyfriends who’ve gone bad to linger like leftover food in my fridge. It is perhaps the downside of being born with will like steel. But one of the things turning thirty taught me was that the...

Crises are nature’s way of forcing change—breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place. SUSAN L. TAYLOR

Deep down, it was almost like the decision to close the magazine was divine confirmation that it was time for me to step out on faith and to turn the page on this chapter of my career.

me, it represented the death of a dream. Oprah says the hardest thing about breaking up is never just the end itself. It is the death of the dream. Whether it’s a promising romantic relationship, a cherished friendship, or a dream job, in the end, you can’t help but daydream about the if onlys and what-ifs. You mourn what could have been, until you are forced to confront what it is: over. At that moment I had to let go—of the false notion that I could control how life unfolds, of the belief that I could somehow prevent my team and the dedicated readers from feeling let down. I surrendered to the God that had gotten me this far. To whatever lesson I could only learn this way—on my back, shivering in a paper smock. On the other side of fear is freedom—but you have to be willing to look it in the face. —

Nobody tells you what to do when your girlhood dreams bump into your womanhood dreams. CLEO WADE

walked onstage to roars, applause, and high-pitched cheers, and stood in awe, feeling that I was living in total alignment with my purpose. In that moment, I was all flow. All of the seeds I had planted, everything I had been striving for, all I envisioned this brand to be—this was the perfect culmination of all of that, and then some. I could walk off that platform knowing for sure I had done what I came here to do.

Ava’s work was waking up America. I was spellbound by 13th, her hard-hitting documentary that tracked the roots of mass incarceration and the prison-industrial complex back to a loophole in the Thirteenth Amendment, which rendered the abolishment of slavery as a conditional freedom rather than an absolute human right. The film’s raw, journalistic approach to truth telling was what we needed, not only to unpack how we got here, but to feel and create our way forward.

“Sometimes it takes reaching the summit to see what’s on the other side.”

Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down. TONI MORRISON, SONG OF SOLOMON

“You should be a little fearful,” Ava told me. “That’s good. It’s a motivator. We all feel fear when we’re about to do something great.”

unhear: “I think the universe is calling you to be a little bit braver right now.” She said it with the kind of conviction you cannot manufacture.

Our lives are a series of dreams realized. We don’t say that enough. Instead, we repeatedly ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As if one answer, one dream, one career path can define you throughout your whole life.

The truth is, job titles are temporary. But purpose is infinite. There are no destinations, no happily ever afters in real life, no glossy pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. There are only new beginnings. Just as you reach your first summit, you’ll find a new horizon awaits, one with new mountains to climb, new peaks and valleys to wander across. Trust that life will continue molding you, challenging you, and readying you for your next adventure. But only you can choose to walk away from what no longer serves you, to leave what you’ve already conquered, and to step boldly into what’s next. When you find yourself existing in the space between dreams realized, parts of you will feel too big for where you are, while other parts of you will feel too small for where you’re going. Go anyway. Do not wait. Do not wonder if you can. Do not ask for permission. When you get lost, it’s okay to stop, to look up, to look within for the answers—they’re always there. And when the world tells you to shrink, expand. Remember: You have done enough. You are enough. You were born enough. The world is waiting on you.