Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

by Lori Gottlieb

One step. They may not be able to imagine their depression lifting anytime soon, but they don’t need to. Doing something prompts you to do something else, replacing a vicious cycle with a virtuous one. Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.

Don’t judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don’t be afraid of the truth.

Group consultation is a system — imperfect, but valuable — of checks and balances to ensure that we’re maintaining objectivity, homing in on the important themes, and not missing anything obvious in the treatment.

(We are afraid that after we die, we won’t have mattered.)

It’s not that she’s hiding her feelings; it’s that she can’t access them. There’s a word for this kind of emotional blindness: alexithymia. She doesn’t know what she’s feeling or doesn’t have the words to express it. Praise from her boss will be reported in a monotone,