Network Effect (The Murderbot Diaries, #5)

by Martha Wells

(Humans have a bad tendency to use weapons unnecessarily and indiscriminately.

“I wasn’t going to let him hurt me.” I said, “If I thought he was going to hurt you, I’d be disposing of his body. I don’t fuck around, either.”

I try to avoid asking humans if there’s anything wrong with them. (Mostly because I don’t care.)

(The company is paranoid and greedy and cheap but also ruthless, methodical, and intensely violent when it thinks it’s being threatened.)

After spending my entire existence having to gently suggest to humans that they not do things that would probably get them killed, it was nice to be able to tell them in so many words to not be so fucking stupid.

“But I think you’re emotionally compromised right now.” That was … that was so completely not true. Stupid humans. Sure, I’d had an emotional breakdown with the whole evisceration thing, but I was fine now, despite the drop in performance reliability. Absolutely fine.

This drone had six of its spidery arms deployed when something had knocked it out of the air, and it was splayed and flattened to the deck like something had stepped on it. I wanted to pick it up and have an emotion over it like a stupid human.

I didn’t like the idea of saying “I don’t know” to Amena because humans panic and I almost don’t blame them because right now I feel like panicking and I was not in control of this situation and I could see at least ten instances now where I’d made wrong decisions and being in control of the situation was really important because otherwise it was in control of me and that felt like a short step to being back in the company’s control.

I was leaking a lot, and I hate leaking.

“The humans think I’m an asshole, wait till they get to know you.” I thought you weren’t speaking to me.

I was still mad, right? But there were a lot of keywords there that invoked involuntary responses.

“Oh, fuck you.” That still counts as speaking.

Then Ratthi whispered, “Was that a subtle threat?” I said, “No. It wasn’t subtle.”

(Of course, none of the sensible humans are supporting me now, it has to be the one who never agrees with me when I’m not being an idiot.)

Thiago wasn’t nearly as annoying when he was being smart like this.

“Anyone who thinks machine intelligences don’t have emotions needs to be in this very uncomfortable room right now.”

You know that thing humans do where they think they’re being completely logical and they absolutely are not being logical at all, and on some level they know that, but can’t stop? Apparently it can happen to SecUnits, too.

Overconfident humans who don’t listen to anybody else scare the hell out of me.)

I knew Amena well enough by now to recognize she was feigning polite interest to disguise horrified interest.)

Tell her you care about her. Use those words, don’t tell her you’ll eviscerate anything that tries to hurt her.

(If I got angry at myself for being angry I would be angry constantly and I wouldn’t have time to think about anything else.) (Wait, I think I am angry constantly. That might explain a lot.)

I was getting tired of being told what to do. Self-determination was a pain in the ass sometimes but it beat the alternative by a lot.

(Despite the weapons and heavy gear, they were amateurs.) (Amateurs are terrifying.)

SecUnit is a very private person, it doesn’t like to discuss its feelings.” This is why Ratthi is my friend.)

“Just remember you’re not alone here.” I never know what to say to that. I am actually alone in my head, and that’s where 90 plus percent of my problems are.

She would never stand close enough to touch (but without touching, because touching is gross) and just trust me.

When I didn’t reply, she said, “Are you all right?” I said, “I just really like you. Not in a weird way.”

ART said, I know you have difficulty making decisions so you don’t need to give your answer right away.

How do you feel about it?” My expression must have changed because she rolled her eyes. “Oh sorry, I used the f word there.”

I didn’t know what else to do (except you know, a murderous rampage, but murderous rampages are overrated and interfere with one’s ability to keep watching media)

change is terrifying. Choices are terrifying.