Network Effect (The Murderbot Diaries, #5)

by Martha Wells

“What are you?” I said, “I’m a Shut Up or Get Your Head Smashed.”

I stopped next to Mensah and she grabbed my hand. Right, it’s usually a good idea to warn bot/human constructs who call themselves Murderbot before making grabby hands,

She smiled at me politely. I never know how to react to that.

(That didn’t apply to the seven kids. I was illicitly trading downloads via the feed with three of them.)

“Wait, I got it,” and tapped the house’s feed to turn on the lights. And I was standing in the middle of the room. He screamed. (Yes, it was hilarious.)

“That’s my second mother’s … friend,” she said through gritted teeth. “And her security … person.”

You know, I really don’t have time for this. A loose chunk from my back was sliding down in the station chair and it was hard to hold myself upright. I was leaking a lot, and I hate leaking.

ART said, You are aboard the Perihelion, registered teaching and research vessel of the Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland. Then it added, I’m not going to hurt your humans, you little idiot. Arada lifted her brows, startled, and Thiago looked boggled. I said, You’re using the public feed, everyone can hear you. So are you, ART said. And you’re leaking on my deck.

ART said, And this is your idea of being helpful. I said, “This is my idea of the opposite of being helpful. I am here against my will and you are going to regret that.”

“Anyone who thinks machine intelligences don’t have emotions needs to be in this very uncomfortable room right now.”

And it hit me then that ART had been desperate and terrified since the moment the Barish-Estranza explorer had sidled up and done whatever it had done. It had tricked its captors into taking it to me not because it had some kind of grand strategy but because it needed me. I hate emotions. On the private channel between ART and me, I said, I apologize for calling you a fucker. It said, I apologize for kidnapping you and causing potential collateral damage to your clients.

Then Amena said, “Do you love my second mother? Thiago thinks so.” I should have known this was going to turn into an interrogation. I said, “Not the way he thinks.”

probably should have just stopped talking, but I didn’t want to hurt Amena’s feelings. I said, “Your second mother is…” Client wasn’t the right word, not anymore. “My teammate.” I could see I had to clarify. It was really hard finding the right words. “Before your second mother, I had never been an actual member of a team before. Just an…” Amena finished, “An appliance for a team.”

I said, “You need to sleep.” She yawned. “Okay, third mom.”

Yeah, corporations suck.

(If I got angry at myself for being angry I would be angry constantly and I wouldn’t have time to think about anything else.) (Wait, I think I am angry constantly. That might explain a lot.)

Ratthi had said, “I think you should let it go for a while, at least until we get ourselves out of this situation. SecUnit is a very private person, it doesn’t like to discuss its feelings.” This is why Ratthi is my friend.)

ART replied, only to me, It is safer. I’ve lost my crew, I won’t lose you.

MY HEART

I am actually alone in my head, and that’s where 90 plus percent of my problems are.

Fuck, fuck everything, fuck this, fuck me especially.

“And SecUnit, you still need to go to Medical.” When I didn’t reply, she said, “Are you all right?” I said, “I just really like you. Not in a weird way.” “I like you, too,” Mensah said.

She just looked more certain. “You’re Peri’s SecUnit.” Oh, ART’s humans had a cute pet name for it. I saved that to permanent archive immediately. I said, “I am not Perihelion’s SecUnit.” Then I ruined it by adding, “Whatever it told you about me isn’t true.”

Iris: “Peri, you can’t bomb the colony.” Perihelion: “You are incorrect, Iris, I can bomb the colony.”

There is a lot about what is going on here that I don’t understand. But I am participating anyway.

This was incredibly weird and awkward. “I don’t want to not see you again.” She took a moment to sort out my verbs. “I don’t want to not see you again, either.”