The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

When we relax and allow awareness to expand, we become less caught up in whatever has magnetized our attention. If we have been fearful or anxious or lost in daydreams and fantasies, we will gain objectivity and perspective about what we are doing. As a result, we will suffer less.

Our expanded awareness enables us to bring more of ourselves and thus more resources to bear on whatever problems or difficulties we may be facing. We will see fresh solutions instead of reacting habitually, according to the mechanisms of our personality.

Expanded awareness opens us to a real relationship with others and with the world around us. We are nourished and enriched by the pleasure and wonder of each moment. Even what we would ordinarily regard as unpleasant experiences have a very different quality when we experience them with awareness.

One of the most important skills we must acquire as we embark on the inward journey is the ability to “observe and let go” of the habits and mechanisms of our personality that have trapped us.

Unlike what our ego may believe, it is not our role to repair or transform ourselves. Indeed, one of the major obstacles to transformation is the idea that we can “fix” ourselves. This notion, of course, raises some interesting questions. What in us do we believe needs fixing, and what part of us is claiming the authority to be able to fix another part? What parts are the judge, the jury, and the defendant in the dock? What are the tools of punishment or rehabilitation, and what parts of us will wield them on what other parts?

“We do not have to improve ourselves; we just have to let go of what blocks our heart.” JACK KORNFIEID

The idea that we simply need to discover and accept who we actually are is contrary to almost everything we have been taught.

“Through our senses the world appears. Through our reactions we create delusions. Without reactions the world becomes clear.” BUDDHA

Always remember that it is your birthright and natural state to be wise and noble, loving and generous, to esteem yourself and others, to be creative and constantly renewing yourself to be engaged in the world in awe and in depth, to have courage and to rely on yourself to be joyous and effortlessly accomplished, to be strong and effective, to enjoy peace of mind and to be present to the unfolding mystery of your life.

SPIRITUAL JUMP STARTS No matter what type you are, there are specific things you can do to “jump start” your spiritual and personal growth. All of the following are type-specific problem areas, but everyone gets caught up in them from time to time. So, if you want to move forward in your inner work, bring your awareness, as fully as possible, to the following patterns: Value-judging, condemning yourself and others (One) Giving your value away to others (Two) Trying to be other than you authentically are (Three) Making negative comparisons (Four) Over-interpreting your experience (Five) Becoming dependent on something outside yourself for support (Six) Anticipating what you are going to do next (Seven) Trying to force or control your life (Eight) Resisting being affected by your experiences (Nine)

Awareness expands and contracts like a balloon, but identification always causes it to become smaller. We might notice that when we are identified with something, our awareness of our immediate surroundings is greatly diminished. We are less aware of other people, of our environment, and of our own inner state. Simply put, the more identified we are, the more contracted our awareness is—and the more out of touch with reality we are.

CONTINUUM OF AWARENESS For this exercise you will need a watch or a clock and, if possible, a tape recorder. Find a place where you can sit comfortably and observe the room or location you are in. For five minutes, follow your attention as best you can, naming whatever you are paying attention to. For example, you might say, “I am noticing the way the light hits that wall. I am noticing that I am wondering why I looked at the wall. I am noticing that I am tensing my right shoulder. I am noticing that I feel nervous,” and so forth. You may wish to record your observations, or you may wish to do this exercise with a partner. Even if you do the exercise without a recording or a partner, see if you can discern any patterns in the movement of your awareness. Do you focus more on your thoughts? On the environment? On your sensations? On your feelings and reactions? Do certain themes emerge?

Over time our identification with a certain set of qualities (such as strength, empathy, peacefulness, or spontaneity, to name just a few) becomes fixed, and our type’s characteristic sense of self is established. The feelings and states that comprise our sense of self are those we think are necessary for achieving our Basic Desire. The more we identify with our sense of self, the more we become locked into it, and the more we forget that other choices and other modes of being are available to us. We start to believe that we are this pattern. We focus on only certain qualities from the total range of our human potentials as if saying, “These qualities are me, but those are not. I am this way, but not that way.” Thus we develop a self-image, a self-definition—a predictable personality type.

The process of growth entails an ongoing cycling among letting go of old blockages, opening up to new possibilities in ourselves, and then encountering deeper levels of blockage. Although we might wish that spiritual growth would be more linear and that it could be accomplished in one or two major breakthroughs, the reality is that it is a process that we must go through many times on many different fronts until our whole psyche is reorganized.

On yet a deeper level, we are afraid to stay present and to really show up in our lives because we are terrified that we will relive all of our childhood wounds. If we dare to unveil our true nature, it might not be seen or loved. It might be rejected or humiliated; it might make us feel vulnerable or cause others to fear or betray us. We fear that others will abandon us. We fear that the preciousness of our souls will be disregarded or harmed again. And yet when we actually show up more fully, we experience immense space, peace, and a quiet aliveness. We discover that we are solid, immensely alive, and connected with the world around us. There is no reason not to live this way, except for the reasons that our personality gives us—biased, self-interested reasons, to be sure.

“If you would only switch on the light of awareness and observe yourself and everything around you throughout the day, if you would see yourself reflected in the mirror of awareness the way you see your face reflected in a looking glass, that is, accurately, clearly, exactly as it is without the slightest distortion or addition, and if you observed this reflection without any judgment or condemnation, you would experience all sorts of marvelous changes coming about in you. Only you will not be in control of those changes, or be able to plan them in advance, or decide how and when they are to take place. It is this nonjudgmental awareness alone that heals and changes and makes one grow. But in its own way and at its own time.” ANTHONY DEMELLO, The Way to Love

To help us know when we are awake, there are three characteristics we can look for: 1. We fully experience our Presence as a living being, here and now. We know that there is someone here; we feel our substantiality, our “is-ness,” and, as a result, we are grounded in the moment. Moreover, this occurs not because we are picturing ourselves from some outside viewpoint, but because we are “inside” our experience, fully connected with the sensations of life in our bodies, from the top of our heads to the bottoms of our feet. There is no feeling of resistance to the reality of the moment. 2. We take in the impressions of our internal and external environments completely and without judgment or emotional reaction. We are able to observe the many thoughts and feelings that pass through our awareness without becoming attached to any of them. We interact with life from an inner quiet and stillness rather than from anxieties and inner franticness. Our attention is on what is occurring now, not dreaming of the past or anticipating the future or fantasizing about something else. 3. We are fully participating in the moment, allowing ourselves to be touched by the impressions around us and to fully taste and experience the richness and subtlety of our life. We are utterly sincere and without artifice or self-consciousness. In each moment, we experience our identity as something entirely new and fresh. We are always looking for a formula, a rule, or a prayer that will turn the trick f...

The Instinctive Triad Types Eight, Nine, and One are concerned with maintaining resistance to reality (creating boundaries for the self that are based on physical tensions). These types tend to have problems with aggression and repression. Underneath their ego defenses they carry a great deal of rage.

The Feeling Triad Types Two, Three, and Four are concerned with self-image (attachment to the false or assumed self of personality). They believe that the stories about themselves and their assumed qualities are their actual identity. Underneath their ego defenses these types carry a great deal of shame.

The Thinking Triad Types Five, Six, and Seven are concerned with anxiety (they experience a lack of support and guidance). They engage in behaviors that they believe will enhance their safety and security. Underneath their ego defenses these types carry a great deal of fear.

“All spiritual interests are supported by animal life.” GEORGE SANTAYANA

Moreover, the instincts of the body are the most powerful energies that we have to work with. Any real transformation must involve them, and any work that ignores them is almost certain to create problems. The body has an amazing intelligence and sensitivity, and it also has its own language and its own way of knowing.

When we truly inhabit our Instinctive Center—fully occupying our body—it gives us a profound sense of fullness, stability, and autonomy or independence. When we lose contact with our Essence, the personality attempts to “fill in” by providing a false sense of autonomy.

The truth is that we are always carrying around a felt sense of self that has little to do with how our body actually is, where it is positioned, or what we are doing. The set of internal tensions that create our unconscious sense of self is the foundation of the personality, the first layer.

“When you are describing or explaining or even just inwardly feeling your ‘self,’ what you are actually doing, whether you know it or not, is drawing a mental line or boundary across the whole field of your experience, and everything on the inside of that boundary you are feeling or calling your ‘self’ while everything outside that boundary you feel to be ‘not-self.’ Your self-identity, in other words, depends entirely upon where you draw that boundary line . . .” KEN WILBER

To put this differently, all three of these types resist being influenced by reality in different ways. They try to create a sense of wholeness and autonomy by building a “wall” between what they consider self and not self, although where these walls are varies from type to type and from person to person.

Our ego boundaries fall into two categories. The first boundary is directed outward. It usually corresponds to our physical body, although not always. When we cut our fingernails or hair, or have a tooth extracted, we no longer regard them as part of ourselves. Conversely, we may subconsciously regard certain people or possessions as part of ourselves—our home, our spouse, or children—although, of course, they are not.

The second boundary is directed inward. For example, we say that we “had a dream,” but we do not think that we are the dream. Some of our thoughts or feelings will also be seen as separate from our identity, while we definitely identify with others. Of course, different people will identify with different feelings and thoughts. One person may experience anger as part of the self while another will view anger as something alien. In all cases,...

At the deepest level, your heart qualities are the source of your identity. When your heart opens, you know who you are, and that “who you are” has nothing to do with what people think of you and nothing to do with your past history. You have a particular quality, a flavor, something that is unique and intimately you. It is through the heart that we recognize and appreciate our true nature.

When we are in contact with the heart, we feel loved and valued. Moreover, as the great spiritual traditions teach, the heart reveals that we are love and value. Our share in the Divine nature means not only that we are loved by God, but that the presence of love resides in us—we are the conduit through which love comes into the world. When our hearts are closed off and blocked, however, not only do we lose contact with our true identity, but we do not feel valued or loved. This loss is intolerable, so the personality steps in to create a substitute identity and to find other things to give us a sense of value, usually by seeking attention and external affirmation from others.

THE FEELING CENTER Right now, as you are reading these words on this page, turn your attention to the area of your heart. Take some deep, easy breaths, and actually sense into your chest. What sensations do you experience in this area? Allow yourself to relax and breathe deeply and see what you are feeling in the area of your heart. Does it feel sharp? Tender? Numb? Aching? What is the exact feeling you are experiencing? If this feeling had a color or shape or taste, what would it be? What effect does this exercise have on your sense of yourself?

Thus, the three types of the Feeling Triad are primarily concerned with the development of a self-image. They compensate for a lack of deeper connection with the Essential qualities of the heart by erecting a false identity and becoming identified with it. They then present this image to others (as well as to themselves) in the hope that it will attract love, attention, approval, and a sense of value.

“All we need to do is to give up our habit of regarding as real that which is unreal. All religious practices are meant solely to help us do this. When we stop regarding the unreal as real, then reality alone will remain, and we will be that.” RAMANA MAHARSHI

In psychological terms, Twos, Threes, and Fours are the types most concerned with their “narcissistic wounding,” that is, with not being valued for who they really were as children. Because no one graduates from childhood without some degree of narcissistic damage, as adults, we have a lot of difficulty being authentic with one another. There is always the fear that, when all is said and done, we are really empty and worthless. The tragic result is that we almost never actually see each other or allow ourselves to be seen, no matter what type we are. We substitute an image instead, as if we were saying to the world, “This is who I am—isn’t it? You like it—don’t you?” People may affirm us (that is, our image), but as long as we identify with our personality, something deeper always goes unaffirmed. The types of the Feeling Triad present us with three different solutions to this dilemma: going out to please others so that they will like you (Type Two); achieving things and becoming outstanding in some way so that people will admire and affirm you (Type Three); or having an elaborate story about yourself and attaching tremendous significance to all of your personal characteristics (Type Four).

When our authentic, Essential qualities are not mirrored in early childhood, we come to the conclusion that something is wrong with us. The resulting feeling is shame. By attempting to feel valuable by means of their self-image, these types hope to escape feelings of shame. Twos become ultra-good, trying to be caring and of service to others so that they will not feel shame. Threes become perfect in their performance and outstanding in their achievements so they will be able to resist feeling shame. Fours avoid deeper feelings of shame by dramatizing their losses and hurts and by seeing themselves as victims.

If the Instinctive Triad is about maintaining a felt sense of self and the Feeling Triad is about maintaining a personal identity, the Thinking Triad is about finding a sense of inner guidance and support. The dominant feelings in types Five, Six, and Seven are anxiety and insecurity. To put it another way, the Instinctive Triad types are concerned with resisting aspects of the present. The Feeling Triad types are all past-oriented because our self-image is built up out of memories and interpretations of the past. The Thinking Triad types are more concerned about the future, as if to ask, “What’s going to happen to me? How am I going to survive? How can I prepare myself to keep bad things from happening? How do I move forward in life? How do I cope?” CONCERNED WITH: Strategies & Beliefs HAVE ISSUES WITH: Insecurity &C Anxiety SEEKS: Security UNDERLYING FEELING: FEAR

“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that’s waiting for us.” JOSEPH CAMPBELL

THE THINKING CENTER Right now, allow yourself to relax and get in greater contact with the sensations and impressions you are having. Actually sense what it feels like to be alive in your body at this time. Don’t visualize—let yourself experience whatever is here. As you become more grounded and calm, you may begin to notice your mind becoming less “noisy.” Continue this process for a few minutes. Stay in contact with your immediate sensations and impressions, and see what effect this has on your thinking. As your mind becomes quieter, are your perceptions clearer or fuzzier? Does your mind seem sharper or duller?

Fives, Sixes, and Sevens cannot get their minds to simmer down. This is a problem because the quiet mind allows us to feel profoundly supported; inner knowing and guidance arise in the quiet mind and give us confidence to act in the world. When these qualities are blocked, we feel fear. Their reactions to fear distinguish the three types of the Thinking Triad.

In Type Six, the central type of this Triad (the type positioned on the equilateral triangle), attention and energy are directed both inward and outward. Sixes feel anxious inside, and so launch into external action and anticipation of the future like Sevens. But having done so, they eventually become afraid that they will make mistakes and be punished or overwhelmed by demands on them, so like Fives, they “jump back inside.” They get scared by their feelings again, and the reactive cycle continues, with anxiety causing their attention to bounce around like a Ping-Pong ball.

The types of this Triad represent the three ways children might attempt to negotiate the separation phase and overcome dependency. Sixes look for somebody like a father-figure, someone who is strong, trustworthy, and authoritative. Thus, Sixes deal with the loss of inner guidance by seeking guidance from others. They are looking for support to become independent, although ironically they tend to become dependent on the very person or system they use to find independence.

Fives are convinced that support is unavailable or not reliable, so they attempt to compensate for the loss of inner guidance by mentally figuring everything out on their own. But because they are “going it alone,” they believe they must reduce their need for and attachment to anyone if they are going to break away and be independent. Sevens try to break away by pursuing substitutes for their mother’s nurturing. They go after whatever they believe will make them feel more satisfied and secure. At the same time, they respond to the lack of guidance by trying everything—as if by the process of elimination, they could discover the source of nurturance they are secretly looking for.

The compliants (Horney’s “moving toward people”) include types One, Two, and Six. These three types share a need to be of service to other people. They are the advocates, crusaders, public servants, and committed workers. All three respond to difficulty and stress by consulting with their superego to find out what is the right thing to do, asking themselves, “How can I meet the demands of what others expect of me? How can I be a responsible person?”

It is important to understand that the compliant types are not necessarily compliant to other people; they are, however, highly compliant to the demands of their superegos. These three types try to obey the internalized rules, principles, and dictates that they have learned from childhood. As a result, they often become authority figures themselves—especially Sixes and Ones. (Twos can sometimes also be authority figures, although more often by trying to be the “good parent” or a trusted adviser to others.)

The types in the Instinctive Triad most wanted autonomy: they sought independence, the ability to assert their own will and direct their own life. The types in the Feeling Triad most wanted attention: to be seen and validated by their parents. Lastly, the types in the Thinking Triad most wanted security: to know that their environment was safe and stable.

The Hornevian Groups tell us the strategy each type employs to get its needs met. The assertive types (Three, Seven, and Eight) insist or demand that they get what they want. Their approach is active and direct as they go after what they believe they need.

The compliant types (One, Two, and Six) all attempt to earn something by placating their superego to get what they want. They do their best to be “good boys and girls” to get their needs met. The withdrawn types (Four, Five, and Nine) all withdraw to get ...

In the Thinking Triad, the Five withdraws for security (“I will be safe if I stay away from others”), the Six tries to earn security (“I will be safe if I do what is expected of me”), and the Seven demands security (“I am going after whatever I need to feel secure”).

This happens to me so much. Important.