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Kindle Notes & Highlights
Social Nines generally have a good deal of energy and like to stay active but within defined, familiar structures.
Trying to please various people or groups in their lives can lead them to being scattered and disenchanted,
often have trouble setting independent goals and following through with their intentions.
Sexual Nines want to take on the energetic qualities of the other, often gravitating to aggressive types.
They seek a complete partnership, thinking of it as “our life” rather than “my life.” It is as if they want the other to fuse with them.
Sexual Nines often idealize the other, not wanting to see his or her flaws, but they can also become critical and demanding, especially if they have a One-wing.
Nines experience the temptation to be overly accommodating to others because they fear that if they get into conflicts with people, they will lose their connection with them.
Nines get into the habit of saying yes to things that they do not really want to do. This strategy may avoid disagreements in the short run but almost inevitably leads to resentment on both sides.
Average Nines begin to create a particular Social Role by seeing themselves as Nobody Special, the modest person who is content to stay in the background and not cause any inconvenience to others.
Nines find comfort in this self-definition—it allows them to minimize their own hopes and expectations so that they will not be frustrated or feel rejected, angry, or disappointed.
Nines tend to court a certain amount of loneliness and depression. Opportunities pass them by, and others begin to not take them seriously.
Sloth in Nines has to do with not wanting to be internally engaged with what they are doing.
busy at work or running a business or a household. Their sloth is internal, a spiritual sloth that makes them not want to be deeply touched or affected by reality. They do not want to show up in their lives in an active, self-initiating way.
Nines go on automatic pilot, so that life becomes less immediate and less threatening to them. Life is lived at a safe distance, so to speak.
The world goes into soft focus, and Nines feel safer, but at the expense of their full vitality and aliveness.
Nines create and maintain their sense of identity by being unself-conscious, by not being too aware of themselves as individual persons.
Nines create their identity by not being directly aware of themselves. Instead, they focus on their relationships with others.
the fundamental mistake Nines make is to believe that to stay connected with others, they must not be connected with themselves.
Nines may do many things, but much of their activity has the quality of busywork.
disengagement of average-to-unhealthy Nines will eventually bring about the very thing they fear most—loss and separation from others.
They seek to create and maintain an Inner Sanctum, a private place in their minds that no one can tamper with. (“In here, I’m safe, and nobody can tell me what to do.”)
Nines begin to relate to the idea of the other rather than to the other as he or she actually
The more others pressure average Nines to wake up and respond, the more they withdraw. They want to get people “off their backs,” so they appease others, seeking peace at any price.
Even though Nines tend to be accommodating, they have an inner core of stubbornness and resistance, a desire to not be affected by anyone or anything they see as threatening to their peace.
less healthy Nines powerfully resist any effort to help them get out of them. Their patience has turned into grim endurance: life is to be gotten through, not to be lived, and certainly not to be actually enjoyed.
Once Nines become aware of it, repressed rage can serve as the very fuel they need to escape their inner inertia.
Feeling powerless is one of the most powerful causes of suppressed rage.
anger gives us the ability to say no—to protect ourselves from something we do not want to have in our lives.
When worries and anxieties surface, Nines focus intensively on work and projects. It is as if, after letting things go for a while, they snap to and try to cover all of the bases at once in a high-pressured phase of frantic activity.
You may feel overwhelmed by life’s problems and that you have little to offer others, but a quick look at the discord, violence, and pain in the world may guide you to a quiet wisdom about what you can do.
Learn the value of the word no.
recognize what you want from a given situation.
invest time and energy in developing yourself and your talents.
Notice when you are imagining a relationship with someone instead of actually relating with him or her.
recognize and process your anger. For most Nines, anger is very threatening. Of all the emotions, it feels like the one that can most easily destroy your inner peace. Yet it is only through anger that you will connect with your own inner power—it is the fuel that will burn away your inertia.
Learn to sense your anger in your body. What does it feel like? Where does it register most strongly in your body?
One of the greatest sources of strength for Nines is their profound patience: a deep “letting be” of other people that allows others to develop in their own way.
Nines’ patience is supported by a quiet strength and tremendous endurance.
effective in handling crises because they have an extraordinary inner stability.
Healthy Nines are extraordinarily inclusive of others, an especially important talent in today’s diverse global society.
They are valued because they listen without judgment, offering others the freedom and dignity of a live-and-let-live philosophy. They are forgiving and give others the benefit of the doubt, always looking for the positive interpretation of a situation.
The biggest obstacle to their self-actualization is their tendency toward inertia. Integrating Nines will frequently encounter feelings of heaviness or sleepiness whenever they try to do something good for themselves. But as they integrate, they will find their energy increasing, and with it their charisma.
as Nines find the energy to invest in their own self-development, the love and strength of their own heart becomes an indomitable, healing force in their world.
Nines reclaim their Essential nature by confronting their Basic Fear of losing connection and by letting go of the belief that their participation in the world is unimportant—that they do not have to “show up.”
Nines remember the Essential quality of wholeness and completion.
Combining knowledge of the Enneagram with spiritual practice consists of: 1. Becoming present and aware as much as possible throughout the day 2. Seeing your personality in action 3. Not acting out your impulses
does the practice assist us to become more mindful, awake, and open to our lives—or is it actually supporting our cherished illusions about ourselves, even negative ones?
does it support us in exploring some of the uncomfortable aspects and limitations of our personality?
does the path encourage us to think for ourselves?
Growth comes from the desire to look more deeply into our own natures as well as into the nature of reality.
