You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters

by Kate Murphy

You can’t listen someone out of being abusive or cruel.

“In our business, there are some patients you can’t treat. But also in life, there are some stories you just can’t hear. Every person has to know that. That’s the limit of human experience, and that’s okay.

Hearing how other people deal with struggles helps you figure out how to deal with your own problems, either by adopting their coping strategies or doing the opposite when you observe it’s not working out for them.

Also, good listeners, because they expose themselves to a range of thoughts and opinions, are more resilient when they are criticized.

“There are a lot of people who want to talk but very few who want to listen, and we are seeing people suffer from it. I just let the people talk.

When you engage with someone, your behavior does two things: 1) it helps or hinders your understanding, and 2) strengthens or weakens the relationship. Listening is your best bet on both counts.

how one responds is the measure of a good listener and, arguably, the measure of a good person.