You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters

by Kate Murphy

“You’re assuming it was a decision,” he said. “Better to ask, ‘How did it happen that you became a sociologist?’”

reticence

listeners. Some evidence suggests women focus more on relational and personal information whereas men are more attentive to fact-based information. As

sounds that convey negative emotions are perceived as significantly louder than those that are more neutral or positive in tone, even when they have the same amplitude.

good interactions must outnumber negative ones by at least five to one for a relationship to succeed. It explains the

People usually aren’t looking for solutions from you anyway; they just want a sounding board. Moreover, you shut people down when you start telling them what they should do or how they should feel.

sterile transactions.