I Hate You (Waylon University, #3)

by Ilsa Madden-Mills

“You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take tonight off?”

Because ditching her was like tearing a limb from my body. Three times we had sex, and you’d think it wouldn’t mean much, but it had, and that was the problem.

How awful is that? To know a guy has power over you, to know he can tear down your defenses so much that you’d take any scrap you could get?

“I’m not your type, remember?” He never moves his gaze from me. “You were fire in my hands.” My heart clenches. “Don’t say things like that. You don’t mean them!”

She smiles and…I think…I think I’d do anything to keep that smile there.

He’s everything. He’s everything I never knew I wanted. He’s perfection wrapped in a dark, deep lake, and I ache to swim in those waters, to discover his secrets and let him delve into mine.

I’ve got to focus on what really matters, on my dreams and how bad I want it. But. I want— Her.

“I knew damn well who you were from the get-go last fall, the girl who kissed me like I was air she had to breathe. Did you come from all that dry-humping in the loft? I did. I was too shy then to ask if you did. Sorry about that. Do you still think about that night? Because, babe, it was you.”

Last night meant something and I want to see what it is, but if you don’t want me, just tell me. Tell me right now. Write it out nice and neat in that smart-girl handwriting you have, and I’ll tape it to my mirror so I can see it every day when I get up.

I’m just a guy who doesn’t know how to do this. I want you. I wanted you freshman year. I wanted you last fall. I want you now, Charm. Let’s see what this is.

I need him to be in this as deep as I am. I need him to feel as empty as I do when he’s not around, to ache and want to spend every moment with me. I love him. Those feelings started freshman year when we kissed, and no matter how much I try to ignore how I felt, it only escalated when we spent time together last fall. Love hurts; I know it does. Love is opening yourself up like a book, letting someone see your secrets with every paragraph and page exposed, knowing that the person you’re showing it to can walk away at any minute. And maybe he will.

“She is my type. She’s fucking amazing. She makes me laugh my ass off. She’s believed in me since day one, okay?

“You don’t kiss a guy for no good reason, Charm. It meant something. We aren’t over.” My mouth opens, then I quickly shut it. “You had a date with you.” “So did you. Bet you didn’t kiss him.” He pauses, his eyes intense. “You’re mine, Charm.”

“My advisor’s been trying to find me a nice Italian guy—” “Did he find the right one?” His hand clenches in my hair, not hard, but enough for me to know that my answer matters. “No. I can’t…” My voice breaks. “Blaze, you know it’s you.”

“This is me. This is my heart flying every time I see you. This is why I tried to let you go last fall…” He stops, his eyes closing for a moment then opening. “This is why I want your kisses all the time.”

She watches me. “I like how you look at me.” “Get used to it. You aren’t getting away from me this time. You aren’t walking out that door unless I’m with you.”

“Promise you won’t get tired of me, Charm. Promise me you’ll stay.” I say the words against her skin, not able to look at her, terrified of my own vulnerability.

“I’ve never had someone like you.” His throat bobs and his eyes search mine. “You know…you know how I feel about you, right? You’re the last thing I think about when I go to sleep, the first thing I want when I wake up.”

“I love you.” Her voice is incredibly soft, and I…I can’t breathe. The room spins a little, and I grasp the blankets to anchor myself. She’s never said it out loud.

I’ve been saying football is the one thing I can’t live without, but it’s a lie. She is. It’s her.

“Why are you here, Blaze? You didn’t come all this way just to tell me about the Combine, although I am happy for you.” “I’m never going to let you out of my sight again, Charm.”