I Hate You (Waylon University, #3)

by Ilsa Madden-Mills

He doesn’t have to tell me he loves me. Because my soul knows he does. It’s in his eyes. Always has been.

“I’m never going to let you out of my sight again, Charm.” “Oh.”

That day in your room when I sang those songs to you, Charm…that’s me, telling you how I feel. When I can’t stop looking at you when you’re underneath me, that’s me telling you you’re the one. When I wrote those notes to you in class, that’s me saying more to you than I have ever said to anyone. It’s me when I see you on a date and I’m on a date and all I want to do is sing your song. I’m scared I won’t be worth your love. I’m scared of those big words because they mean so much to me. What if you leave me? What if I’m so fucked up that one day, you finally see it and walk away?”

“I love you. I do. I have for a long time—maybe since the moment you walked into my bedroom with that coat on and made me insane for you. I’m sorry I’ve been scared. I’m sorry I hesitate on the important things. It’s just…me.”

His forehead rests against mine. “Can you see me, Charm? Can you see the man I really am underneath all this? Can you look at me and see that I can’t go on without you?” I do. I see his love for me, right there, shining in his eyes.

“I’m never going to betray you. My feelings for you…are beyond anything else. I’m not that man. I want a happy ending, Charm. That’s who I am. I’m the guy in Say Anything who begs the girl to take a chance. I’m here. I’m right here, and I don’t care about anything but you, even football, because if I don’t have you, I’m going to dig a hole so deep I’ll never crawl out of it.” He pauses, a pleading look in his gaze. “Will you ever be able to trust me?”

“Yes, please, yes. I want to do this with you. I do. I love you so much, and I let those thoughts get in my head and mess with me.” A long breath slips through my lips. “But just hearing you say everything out loud, it means something. It makes me feel like flying…” I shake my head, overcome with emotion. “You’re mine for as long as you want me, Charm.” He kisses me, soft and slow, and I melt into his arms.

This is who they are, my eyes tell him. Are you ready? He looks right at me. Love. So much wonderful love there. I see it so clear and plain and open. He smiles at me. I’ll take them. I’ll take you. Forever, his eyes tell me back.

Her family is mine. Dinners, crazy games, full of laugher and shit—stuff I never had. And I’m marrying all of them today. The music starts and we pull our gaze from the ocean to the arch of colorful flowers on the beach. My breath whooshes out. How on earth did a girl like that fall in love with a boy like me?

She waltzes toward me, a confident swagger in those hips. Ah, yeah, she knows I’m hers. Not once in five years has she wavered in her trust. She is mine. I’m hers. Till the day I die.

The minster finishes up the vows we wrote, speaking of commitment and forever and love, but I’ve tuned them out. I’ve whispered them to her for many nights when we lay in bed and held each other. She knows my heart. Her name is written there.

Our kiss is long and lingering, and when I pull back, she looks up at me, eyes shining. “I love you, Charm,” I say softly. Because once you know a girl sees you for the man you are, once you know she’s never leaving, she wants you forever, and she’ll take a chance on you, it’s easy to let the words out. “I know,” she says, smiling. “I love you too.”