Layla

by Colleen Hoover

But then my blood chills . . . freezes . . . shatters like tiny shards of glass exploding inside of me. The words that just came out of Willow’s mouth are rushing through me, searching for a place to belong, but they don’t belong.

This is so much bigger than the world I thought we existed in, and I’m trying to force it into a tiny little box and tuck it away like none of it is happening.

Perhaps what we desire can sometimes be so strong it overpowers our fate.”

I no longer feel like I’m falling out of love with Layla, because I’ve been falling in love with her this whole time in Willow.

I’ve had this constant hollow feeling inside me since that night, and for so long I’ve felt guilty for feeling that way. For feeling like I lost her when she was still right in front of me.

I’m full of a frustration that can’t be settled, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve been given clarity. It’s like the strand of hair that’s been strangling my heart finally broke loose and it’s beating that out-of-control, irregular beat again that only Layla’s presence can create.

It feels like she’s been returned to me, but in a horrific way. I feel further away from her than I’ve ever been, even though we’re standing in the bedroom and I’m holding her in my arms.

A connection so strong it brought me back here to her when I didn’t even know I was searching for her.

I feel like I’ve sunk to the bottom of the pool. My lungs feel dense with water.

We’re bound together for eternity, and if I don’t get this right—if I lose her—that tether will feel like a noose tightening around my heart until it stops.

I’d rather live a miserable existence with her than not exist with her at all.

It’s like we don’t quite fit in because we’re living with this huge secret we can’t share with anyone.