Broken Knight (All Saints High, #2)

by L.J. Shen

“I do. I love her.” I paused. “I love her, but I’m not sure I know her anymore.” “You love her, but maybe despite growing up together, you also grew apart?” I shook my head. No. That wasn’t it. “I can’t outgrow Luna. It’s like outgrowing your heart. Impossible. It grows with you. What do I do?”

“What the fuck do I do, Mom?”

“Well, that’s an easy one.” She smiled. “You go after her. You grovel. You win your girl back. Life’s too short not...

“I need you to do this for my peace of mind.” Her gaze cut to mine, her blue eyes shining with emotion. “From a selfish point of view, I want you to win Luna back, because knowing you two are together would make me so happy.”

“I love your brother and your father more than I love myself. I would die for them. Fight for them until the bitter end. Go against the whole world for them. But you…” She dragged her face up to look at me. Her eyes were full of tears. “I’ve always loved you just a tiny bit more. My regal, rebel boy. My legendary hellraiser, my sad prince, my unlikely savior, my beautiful, broken Knight.”

“What if tomorrow never comes?” I whispered. “Then, my darling boy, we’ll make the best of today.”

So this was the place that stole Moonshine from me. Already I hated it.

If you’re ready to fall Please do it with me Ten o’clock. Water tower. Is where I will be. —Broken Knight

I was worth more. I deserved more.

“Ryan’s wrong about you, but not about Boon. Go to Knight,” Josh signed. “You’re his. You belong there. With him.” He was right. He was right, and Knight was here. At Boon.

“If you win, I promise to leave you alone,”

“And if I lose?”

“If you lose…” A boyish, devastating grin found his pink, full lips, making my knees stutter, bones...

“If I win, you stop drinking and start attending AA meetings.” He didn’t even blink. “I agree to your terms.”

“I’m not some prize,” I added, scoffing as an afterthought. “You are to me,” he said frankly, his tone void of emotion.

“That once you’re with me, you won’t be able to touch anyone else. Want anyone else. Feel for anyone else.” I already know that, you fool.

“Why didn’t you let me win?” “You’re equal to me—not the same Moonshine who left Todos Santos.”

“But whoever you are, I will crack you, too.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I panted. “Because,” he paused, swallowing, “I want to remember the moment you officially became mine.”

“You’re mine,” he stated. “Always fucking have been, Luna. Say it.” “I’ve only ever been yours, Knight.”

“Come for me, Moonshine. Come all over my cock.”

You choose words so carefully and intelligently, Luna. I knew this wasn’t a mistake. You understand the meaning of words. That’s why you don’t use them lightly. That meant I still had a chance. And I figured, I’m losing my mom. I’m not ready to lose my best friend, too. I’m not going down without a fight, Luna. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me. If it’s friendship—so be it.”

“I want to be your girlfriend.”

How could I ever have let him slip from my fingers? How could I have given him up? Who even cared? Love is selfish. Love is raw. Love is unfair, and unpredictable, and unstoppable.

“Fuck her, baby. Come for me again.”

Luna: You said what we did should answer my question. I don’t think it did. What are we, Knight? This time, he did look up, his gaze holding mine. He opened his mouth, not whispering the words, but uttering them, loud and clear. “We’re everything.”

It felt stupid to say it in the same way it felt stupid to think it. We were so much more than steady. I was going to marry her. I’d known that with every fiber of my being before I was fully potty trained, for fuck’s sake. I just hadn’t known how to label it back then.

“What do you want to eat?” “You,” I deadpanned, flicking my menu across the table. She looked up. Giggled. Her voice. Her fucking voice. I could drown in it.

“You didn’t do it on purpose. We break things all the time. It’s called life. If you don’t break, you don’t live. You don’t move. You don’t try. You don’t take chances. Breaking is a part of living. FUCKING JOSH will move on. He has to. You need to understand that sometimes, the consequences of your actions are destructive. You need to forgive yourself and make sure the other person knows you’re sorry. You can’t do more than that. You’re not responsible for someone else’s happiness.”

She rose on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck. She touched her lips to mine. There was something about that kiss that promised more. An I love you. If she said it, I promised myself, I would stop drinking. I’d hold on to it in my darkest hours. I’d be good. Or at least better than I was right now. For her.

I love you, I told her in my head. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Her mouth opened. My goddamn heart was about to burst. “Ride or die,” she whispered. I smiled, my disappointment leaking through the cracks of my soul. “Ride or die, Moonshine.”

Knight: Tell me what to prepare myself for. Emilia: Reality.

“She hates to sleep with the blanket all the way up,” he choked, looking away, at the wall. A sob ripped from his mouth, coming out harsh, like thunder.

Indeed, the price of Knight’s love was expensive, but I had no trouble paying my dues.

“Can’t fuck your brains out the way I want to in a bath.”

“Are you sure you’re in the right headspace?” “I will always be in the right headspace to be inside you. You’re my home.”

Everything about him was hard and strong. You can afford to be a little soft from the inside from time to time, my beautiful, broken Knight.

C’mon, Moonshine. What’s the worst that could happen? A little baby Lunight? She’ll be cute. Plus, cosmic interference and all. I’m losing a mother, gaining a kid. Sounds about right.”

“Do you care for me?” I hated to play that card when his mother was dying, but I had to. I’d made a promise to her, and I was going to fulfill the hell out of it.

“More than anyone in the world, save for one person. You two are a tie,” he said.

“Baby.” “Don’t baby me. I’m not your home. People don’t ruin their homes; they build them. They cherish them.” The ride back to the hospital reminded me of how I used to be before Boon. Completely silent.

“I’m trying, Baby Leblanc. I really am, but I don’t know if I can do it without you. The scariest part is, I don’t know if I want to. It’s a terrible thing to say. I know. Trust me, I know that. But what is life without you? Please wake up, baby. Please. There’s an experimental thing they want to try… They told me it could give you five more years. Five more years, sweetheart. Lev will be in college. Knight will probably have a kid or two of his own with Luna. I can’t imagine us not babysitting the little monsters together.”

“Just try for me, okay? Try to get better? I’ll fight the doctors. I promise. I’ll fight everyone. I just need the smallest signal from you. Anything. Move your eyelid. Twitch your nose. Breathe on your own. Fart, for all I care! Anything, Rosie. Please. Please. Please.”

“Rose Leblanc, you can’t die on me now. We still have a lot of work to do. Knight is out of control. Lev is too sensitive and emotional to grow up without a mother. And what about Emilia? What about our friends? Vicious, Trent, and Jaime will try to drag me out of the house to meet people—maybe fix me up with someone. I’ll start drinking, I swear. I’ll ruin all the progress we’ve made together.”

“Take me with you.” He whispered this time, broken and sad and resolute. “I don’t want to be here without you, Rose Leblanc.”

“Ride or die,” I heard him say, and my eyes darted up in shock.

“Remember? We carved it on the tree in the forest before the kids butted into our shit and asked us to make a treehouse out of it? I never forgot, Baby Leblanc. Ride or die. There will be no one like you. Nothing like you. You’re a once in a lifetime experience, baby, and I’m the lucky bastard who got you.”

It was only when Luna wrote them to me in blood that they’d registered. She was all I saw. Always.

“He is hospitalized. He overdosed.”