More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Jiang arched an eyebrow. “Darling, fucking what?”
Jun’s dead, by the way; they flayed him alive on a dais a few weeks ago—but
I forgot he was still alive
“It’ll work,” Kitay said. “We’ve got allies.” “Who?” Venka perked up. “How many?” “Two,” Rin said. “You assholes—”
He really was the spitting image of Nezha—an older, crueler version, an unsettling premonition of everything Nezha was supposed to be. Small wonder she’d so eagerly cast him her loyalty. She’d been attracted to him; she could admit this to herself, now that it didn’t matter. It couldn’t humiliate her anymore. She could concede that not so long ago, she’d wanted to be commanded and owned by someone who looked like Nezha.
Yikes
Before Vaisra could respond, she seized his chin and brought his mouth to hers. He tried to twist away. She gripped the back of his head and kept it pressed against her face. He struggled, but he was so weak. He bit desperately at her lips. The taste of blood filled her mouth, but she just pressed her lips harder against his. Then she funneled flame into his mouth.
Ew
The point of revenge wasn’t to heal. The point was that the exhilaration, however temporary, drowned out the hurt.
“These people deserve better than you.” “I’m exactly what they deserve,” she said.
She patted his head. “You can beg now, if you like.”
“Hanelai?” Rin reeled. She’d heard that name before. Just once, just briefly, but she’d never forget it. She remembered kneeling on the freezing forest floor, her ankle throbbing, while Chaghan’s aunt, the Sorqan Sira, gripped her face in her hands and spoke a name that made the surrounding Ketreyids bristle. She looks like Hanelai.
Hanelai and the gatekeeper… Rin’s parents?
“Take everything you want and put it in a bag,” she said finally. She could barely believe the words coming out of her mouth, but in that instant, they seemed like the only appropriate things to say. “Wrap it in leaves so that the blood doesn’t leak. Eat only when no one is looking. If they catch you again, they’ll tear you apart, and I won’t be able to help you. Do you understand?”
Aaaaaahhhh
“It’s only a day, dearest, don’t miss me too much.” He didn’t laugh. “Come back down,” he said, his expression suddenly grim. His fingers clenched tight around hers. “Listen, Rin. I don’t care what else happens up there. But you come back to me.”
UUUUGH MY HEART ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Riga strode slowly toward her. “She’s shorter than the others. Why is that?” No one answered. He made a humming noise. “I suppose Hanelai was short. Does she follow orders?”
That’s totally gotta be Rin’s mom
“Altan Trengsin,” Riga mused. “I remember the name. Hanelai’s nephew, wasn’t he, Ziya? Pride of the island?”
Oh???
Then it all fit together; the final, horrible piece of the puzzle fell into place. The Federation had not kidnapped Speer’s children. It was the Trifecta. It had been Riga all along; Riga who delivered the children to the Federation; Riga who forced Hanelai’s hand when she dissented, and then watched her island go up in smoke when she made the wrong choice.
Pipaji’s lips moved very quickly, uttering a stream of syllables that formed no language Rin could recognize. The tips of her fingers had turned a rotted purple beneath the dirt. When her eyes fluttered open, all Rin saw beneath her lashes were dark pools, black all the way through.
“She told me . . .” Pipaji took a deep, rattling breath. “The goddess, I mean . . . she told me I’ll never be afraid again.” “That’s power,” Rin said. “And you’re not giving that up. I know you. You’re me.”
“I received both these scars from men I thought I loved,” Rin said. “One is dead now. One will be.
In terms of sheer spectacle, Dulin trumped all of them. One week later, after so many failed attempts that Rin considered putting him out of his misery, he took an extra dose of poppy seeds with a look of stubborn determination on his face and promptly summoned the Great Tortoise.
Jiang didn’t deserve much. But he deserved something. She’d seen the look on his face before she escaped the temple. He knew full well what he’d done. In that moment he was complete and aware, reconciled with his past, and fully in control. And he’d chosen to save her. “Thank you,” she said. Her voice sounded reedy and insufficient against the chilly, dense air. Her chest felt very tight. She’d loved him like a father once. He’d taught her everything he’d known. He’d led her to the Pantheon. Then he’d abandoned her, returned to her, betrayed her, and saved her. He’d let so many others die—he’d
...more
Hot tears welled up in her eyes.
Girl you and me both
“You’re sure they’re ready?” She shrugged. “About as ready as I was.” He sighed. “I’m sure you know that thought gives me no comfort at all.”
What do you do if you feel the god taking over?” They chanted in unison like schoolchildren. “Chew the nuggets.” Each of them carried enough opium for a fatal overdose in their pockets. They knew precisely how much to swallow to knock themselves unconscious. “And what do you do if your comrades are out of control?” Pipaji flexed her fingers. “Deal with them before they deal with us.” “Good girl,” Rin said.
Fuck these are children
“Honestly,” said Rin, “I thought you’d just take the title for yourself.” “Honestly,” said Venka, “I did.” They grinned at each other.
clusterfuck.
“Thank you.” Rin reached out, cupped the side of Pipaji’s head with her left hand, pressed one knee against Pipaji’s shoulder for leverage, and wrenched. The crack was louder than she’d expected. Rin shook out her fingers, focusing on the pain so she wouldn’t have to look at Pipaji’s glassy eyes. She’d never broken a neck before. She’d been taught the method in theory; she’d practiced plenty of times on dummies at Sinegard. But until now, she hadn’t realized how much force it really took to make a spine snap.
“I think I understand you now,” she said after a long silence. “Oh?” Altan cocked his head. “What do you understand?” “Why you pushed me so hard. Why you hurt me. I wasn’t a person to you, I was a weapon, and you needed me to work.” “You can still love your weapons,” Altan said. “You can beat them into shape and then watch them destroy themselves and know that it was all fully necessary, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love them, too.”
“I wish things had been different,” Nezha said.
“Look.” He pointed. “Out there.” She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and squinted. Rows and rows of scarlet emerged on the horizon. She thought it a trick of the light at first, but then they drew closer and it became apparent that the brilliant red sheen that covered the fields was not a reflection of the setting sun but a rich hue that came from the blossoms themselves. Poppy flowers were blooming all around Tikany. Her mouth fell open. “What the—” “Shit,” Kitay said. “Holy shit.”
She was so small.
Then the twitching stopped, and she was gone. Kitay lay still beside him. He knew Kitay was gone, too—that Kitay had died a bloodless death the moment he plunged the blade into Rin’s heart, because Rin and Kitay were bonded in a way that he could never understand, and there was no world where Rin died and Kitay remained alive.
I am so incredibly upset
She was a goddess. She was a monster. She’d nearly destroyed this country. And then she’d given it one last, gasping chance to live.
