The Importance of Being Earnest

by Oscar Wilde

I have introduced you to every one as Ernest. You answer to the name of Ernest. You look as if your name was Ernest. You are the most earnest-looking person I ever saw in my life. It is perfectly absurd your saying that your name isn’t Ernest.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!

What do they talk about? Algernon. The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course.

I’ll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have met, they will be calling each other sister. Algernon. Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first.

Oh he knows too much im afraid

Well, what shall we do? Jack. Nothing! Algernon. It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don’t mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.

Well, at any rate, that is better than being always over-dressed as you are. Algernon. If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it by being always immensely over-educated.

Cecily, ever since I first looked upon your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Cecily. I don’t think that you should tell me that you love me wildly, passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn’t seem to make much sense, does it?

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And of course a man who is much talked about is always very attractive. One feels there must be something in him, after all.

Well, one must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in life.