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it is absurd to have a hard and fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn’t read.
Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd. Nor do I in any way approve of the modern sympathy with invalids. I consider it morbid. Illness of any kind is hardly a thing to be encouraged in others. Health is the primary duty of life.
me @ me
Jack. I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left. Algernon. We have. Jack. I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about? Algernon. The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course. Jack. What fools!
Chasuble. I hope, Cecily, you are not inattentive. Cecily. Oh, I am afraid I am. Chasuble. That is strange. Were I fortunate enough to be Miss Prism’s pupil, I would hang upon her lips. [Miss Prism glares.] I spoke metaphorically.—My metaphor was drawn from bees. Ahem!
A misanthrope I can understand—a womanthrope, never!
It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has just been introduced is almost unbearable.
I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection. Cecily. I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will allow me, I will copy your remarks into my diary.
Algernon. But was our engagement ever broken off? Cecily. Of course it was. On the 22nd of last March. You can see the entry if you like. [Shows diary.] “To-day I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I feel it is better to do so. The weather still continues charming.” Algernon. But why on earth did you break it off? What had I done? I had done nothing at all. Cecily, I am very much hurt indeed to hear you broke it off. Particularly when the weather was so charming.
But even men of the noblest possible moral character are extremely susceptible to the influence of the physical charms of others. Modern, no less than Ancient History, supplies us with many most painful examples of what I refer to. If it were not so, indeed, History would be quite unreadable.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
Cecily. [Severely.] Cake or bread and butter? Gwendolen. [In a bored manner.] Bread and butter, please. Cake is rarely seen at the best houses nowadays. Cecily. [Cuts a very large slice of cake, and puts it on the tray.] Hand that to Miss Fairfax.
Come here. Sit down. Sit down immediately. Hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness in the old.
Gwendolen. If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
Gwendolen. This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
