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Only... “I want Carina Mendoza, Fitz.” Carina sits up straight, her eyes rounding out. What the hell just happened? By the window, Dashiell Lovett’s on his feet, and he’s pointing at Carina wearing a very cool, very entitled look.
“Are you gonna make this super uncomfortable, or are you gonna go sit next to Wren like a good little girl? We all know how much you hate him.”
Fury pours off Wren like smoke, but he doesn’t get to object. There isn’t time for that. Because the next thing I know, I look up to find Pax scowling down at me. “Congratulations, Frenchie. Looks like I get to be a pain in your neck, now.”
“Oh, wow. You’ve got all the good gossip. I should have come to you first instead of Damiana.”
But it’s no fucking good—Pax Davis is a motherfucker of the highest order and I hope he falls off a very high cliff. I suppose it’d be okay if he survived the impact. A few weeks in traction, writhing in agony in a dingy hospital bed, though? Yeah, that sounds like suitable punishment for a prick like Pax.
“One of the things? There are other things you like about me?”
“Yes,” he whispers. “Plenty of things. I’ll make you a list.”
After a beat, he presses his hands more firmly into my back, pulling me up against him so that I feel the hardness of him between our bodies; his dick is erect, and from the way it pulses against my stomach, it wants some attention.
“Do you have any idea what being my girlfriend would be like, Little E?” he growls.
“You’re probably...very possessive,” I manage. “You have no idea. And?” “And you probably like to hoard all of the power in a relationship.” “I like being in control of any situation,” he admits. “But I am willing to share on occasion.” “You probably like to fight?” “Nothing wrong with healthy disagreement. Nothing wrong with calling someone on their shit if they’re misbehaving, either.” “You’d probably want everything your way.” “I’m capable of compromise.” “Okay...” “Keep going.” “That’s all I can think of.” There’s another faint brush of lips, against my own lips this time, the contact so
...more
“Yes, Wren. I still want it.”
“Careful, E. You’re almost down to the bone.” Fuck. I’ve wrapped my arms around him, and I’m digging my fingernails into his back, through the thin material of his hoody. “Shit, sorry.” “Don’t be. I like it. But if you’re gonna mark me as your property, at least take my fucking clothes off first.”
“Down on your knees for me, Little E. I wanna find out how good that perfect mouth feels.”
The videos I watched on Youtube last year— ‘How to give your man good head,’ and ‘Best blowjob tips,’ and ‘How to make him come in thirty seconds flat,’ —seem to be paying off, though.
real
“Get on your back. I wanna fucking taste you again. That pretty little cunt of yours is all I’ve been able to think about.”
“Fuck. Hold on, Little E. I wanna feel you come all over my cock.”
“Good girl. Good girl,” he whispers hoarsely. “Let it happen. Don’t fucking fight it.”
He places his mouth on mine and kisses me with the utmost care. No tongue. No urgency. Just a gentle moment, where he kisses me, and the fucking world stands still. I’ve had so many expectations of him in my head that this...I don’t know what to do with this. Because never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that Wren Jacobi could be gentle.
“Yeah. But Andre’s going with you. And you’re gonna go out for a romantic dinner, and he got you tickets to see Hamilton.
“You’re not the boss of me,” I remind him. “Aren’t I?” He ducks down for another kiss, but I scoot back, out of reach. “Most definitely not.” Fire ignites in his eyes. “If I tell you to do something, don’t you do it? If I ask you for something, don’t I get it?” he muses.
what would Elodie think of me if she could see me now?
She seems to like it, so I like it, too.
“Home?” she hisses. “You brought me home?” Oh god. She looks like she’s about to have a heart attack. “It’s not a big deal. It’s just a building. With a lot of fancy rooms inside.”
I should have known that I wouldn't find what I was looking for on ink and paper. Even the poets entrusted their foolish hearts into the hands of others. Especially the poets.
As Elodie spins around, breathing deeply, taking everything in for a final time, I admit something that I've stubbornly refused to ever admit to myself before: I am fucking scared. This girl has no idea the power she holds over me. She can't begin to imagine the lengths I will go to or the worlds I will burn down in my mission to make her happy.
Christ, doesn't she know that I will give her anything she fucking wants? I'll rip out my mangled, blackened heart for her and set it at her feet if it’ll please her.
Surrendering herself to unconsciousness, laying in my arms, not knowing what kind of a man I truly am and all the awful, hideous things I've done. I don't deserve it. Fuck, I don't deserve any of this.
Even four floors up, I can hear my father's aggravated bark as he enters the house. “Where is he, then? Where the fuck is my son?”
“Friends?” General Jacobi looks sharply at Wren. Wren stares right back at him, the muscles in his jaw popping. “Not friends,” he says. “We're together. She's my girlfriend.” The general gives a curt nod. “Ah. I see. So you're fucking.”
ooookay
“I'm not sleeping around. I'm sleeping with one person. I'd say I was doing a better job at preserving the Jacobi name than you are, Father. Given your past indiscretions.”
“No more orders. No more commands. No more threats. No more hanging military school over my head, every chance you get. I’m an adult. I’ve come into my majority. And you’re done talking to me like I’m some unpleasant thing you’ve found stuck to the bottom of your shoe.”
I feel like I'm trapped, walled in by panic. It wasn't you. It wasn't you, Elodie. You're safe. You're okay here. He's a million miles away. He can't hurt you.
“Yeah. Well.” Wren's eyes harden. “I mind. I really fucking mind. Elodie,” Wren whispers.
“I didn’t tell you that I was also sent some official documents from Tel Aviv. I put in a request with a friend who lives out in Israel, and he sent me an envelope. There was a police report inside it.” I go very, very still. “What police report?” Reality fractures, shatters to tiny pieces when he takes a deep breath and speaks again. “The one that was filed the night they found your mother’s body.”
“Something happened. Something before...he put me in the box.” The detective narrows her eyes. “Yes?” “He did to me what he did to my mom. He forced himself...into me. Between my legs. He held my head against the tiles, and he…he hurt me. I screamed. I tried to stop him, but...I could see my mom. Her eyes were still open, and she was looking right at me, and...”
“I was...in the box for...five days?”
“Your precious Colonel Stillwater raped his own daughter! What kind of man does that?” “Not the kind that commands thousands in the U.S. military, Detective Berger. I'd be very careful if I were you. Repeating slanderous accusations like that can have dire consequences.”
Most of all, I hate that this whole time, the guy I'm insanely attracted to has known this horrible, dirty, dark, evil secret about me that no one in the world should know.
He started training me into the ground after that. Every single day, he put me through the most brutal training. I couldn’t understand it at first. But then I began to see the self-loathing in his eyes. He wanted me to be able to protect myself. From him. I think he always worried that…that he might do it again.”
“I'm in love with you. And it'll be my fucking undoing if I'm wrong, but I think you're in love with me, too, Little E. Have I been deluding myself this entire time?” I'm in love with you. It's been taken care of. I'm in love with you. It's been taken care of.
We stay at the hotel until Sunday night, and I get far too used to Elodie falling asleep in my arms. It's the most terrifying, heavenly experience I've ever endured. I'm so fascinated by the sound of her slow, steady breathing that I hardly manage to sleep myself.
“Fuck knows how you're gonna concentrate when I have your dick in my mouth, then,” she says. “Drive.”
“I'll make you a deal. You let me eat your pussy on the hood of this car and I'll let you do whatever the fuck you want to me when we get back to the academy.”
Can she hear the ache in my voice? How far have I let myself fall? How bad is it gonna hurt when this girl finally realizes what a piece of shit I am, and she tosses my ass aside? And why do I keep experiencing these moments of panic out of the fucking blue, like I’m only a hair’s breadth away from catastrophe?
“This may be surprising to you, but you’ve scored a number of my firsts, Little E. First girl I’ve ever taken home. First girl I’ve ever called my girlfriend. First girl I’ve ever loved.”
“First is a good start,” I rumble. “But I plan on being the only guy you love, Little E. Period. For the rest of time.”
“So, so greedy,” I agree. “What kind of fool would I be if I ever risked letting you slip between my fingers? I’m yours. I’ll be your weak and pathetic plaything. You can use and abuse me how you see fit. I’ll still be here, asking for more. Speaking of which.” I lean forward and kiss her.
“God… Please…. Please… Please… Wren! Let me come!” Where would be the fun in that? Her whole body convulses as I laugh. She bucks her hips up, trying to earn herself more pressure from my mouth, but I lean back just far enough to frustrate her. “Mmm. Now who’s being greedy?” Goddamnit, she’s delicious.
Elodie bucks, startled, trying to cover herself, but I pin her by her hips, growling out a warning. “Finish it,” I command. “Fuck my hand, Elodie. Fuck it.”
I stare down and watch, completely fucking mesmerized, as my Little E grinds her pussy against my hand, her back arching off the hood of the car as she comes. I have never been this turned on in my entire fucking life.
