More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
There’s a reason numbers have always made more sense to me than people do. Numbers are simple: they always do what you expect them to do. It’s what drew me to aerospace engineering, the ability to see a problem and find a solution using known mathematical principles of physics is amazing. Plus, rockets.
People, on the other hand, rarely do what I expect. They say things that are different than what they mean, they laugh and tease, they lie. People don’t make sense the way physics and numbers do; they don’t even try to.
Emotional bonds are strange that way. Unlike physical forces, they are in no way impacted by the distance between the two objects—or people as the case may be. It’s fascinating when you think about it.
I can only imagine what Pax must be thinking, his younger brother calling and begging him to take pity on his pathetic, socially awkward best friend. Is there a hole somewhere I can crawl into and die? Because that would be absolute perfection right about now.
It’s an odd situation for me to be lying naked in my bed, staring at my phone, waiting for a message, and not have it be sexting.
“Oh my god, he’s probably going to spit in my drink for causing him trouble,” I lament. “A little spit never killed anyone,”
Pax: Where do you live? Elijah: Near campus, why? Pax: Because I’m planning to stalk you, and it’ll be a lot easier if I get your address
So, he’s a genius and apparently isn’t lacking in social skills or self-confidence. I’ve heard of such unicorns but haven’t seen one in the wild before now.
There’s something about Elijah that makes you want to shield him from the big, bad world.
Did I give him a sign I didn’t know I was giving? And if so, what was it so I can be sure to do it again.
Oh my god, I’m going to see Paxton without pants on. If this is a dream, please, please, please don’t let me wake up before I get to see his dick.
“I don’t know what I want because I don’t think I know everything there is. All I know is that I want to feel you against me, I want you on top of me and all around me, I want to see what it’s like when you fall apart from pleasure.”
“Miscalculations can happen, and sometimes they blow up in your face,”
If Heisenberg’s Uncertainty principle is that you can know the velocity or location of an object at any given time, but not both. I think the Paxton Uncertainty principle has to be that you can understand what he says or how he acts, but both can’t be comprehensible at the same time.
“As much as it has always sucked to be laughed at and misunderstood, I wouldn’t trade who I am just to fit in.”
There’s a theory in quantum mechanics that anything that can happen, will happen. That’s the only thing I can chalk my behavior up to.
I read through the list, feeling my despair grow as I wonder how I’m going to be able to do so many different things at once—suck, swallow so I don’t gag, flick my tongue along his tip, use my hand to cup his balls…it’s like the Bop It game from hell.
The weight of those words settles on my shoulders, equal parts daunting and empowering. He trusts me not to hurt him, to make his first experience a good one, to take care of him.
Like he said, we’re nothing but atoms crashing into each other. But I have to admit, I’m starting to wonder if we’ll survive the inevitable explosion.
“It’s always casual…until it’s not,”
He’s wrong. I can’t be in love with Pax. Love is not casual. Love will leave me with a broken heart.
“When did you get such a filthy mouth?” “Probably when you put your cock in it,” he reasons, and I bark out a laugh.
My head is too fucked up right now, but all I want to do is kiss him and hope it sets the world right on its axis again.
“There’s this idea in string theory that there are infinite parallel universes with infinite possibilities,” he says, settling closer to me, his soft cock, still wet with his cum, pressing against my thigh as he hitches a leg over mine and nestles his head onto my chest. He lets out a content sigh, his whole body relaxing into me. “I hope we’re doing this in every single one of them.”
Pardon me while I sob over this for the next month
I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything, even in the face of all the fear.
“Then rule one applies, we talk about it; we work it out like adults and shit.” “And shit,” he mocks, and I wad up my napkin to throw at him. He dodges it and sticks his tongue out. “I seriously fucking love you, Nerdlet. That’s the only thing that matters; we’ll figure the rest out.”
“Einstein, listen to me.” He cups my jaw in his hand and holds my gaze. “You are the absolute love of my life. If we needed to move to the moon for you to do your crazy scientist shit, then that’s what we’d do.”
