I got exactly what I wanted, I wrote in my journal right after my one-night stand. I was in control the entire time, and I still have Henry, whom I love dearly. I got what I wanted then, but, of course, the decision looks different now, years later. I wish now that I had wanted something else, something other than to always be in control, something other than to push Henry away, something other than to use sexuality to prove myself.
