Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

by Angela Chen

So long as there is no romantic partner in the picture, others will think the picture incomplete.

IF SOMEONE CANNOT SAY NO, any yes that is given is meaningless.

So coercion looks like being told that you would have sex if you really loved someone. It feels like being afraid to see your partner because you don’t want to keep denying them sex. It feels like, as activist Queenie of Aces writes, making a list of all the reasons you shouldn’t have sex now (not old enough, haven’t been dating long enough, birth control access could be a problem) but never knowing that the real reason—that you don’t want to—is the only one you need.

Every no is good enough, and that goes for every person.