Just Like You

by Nick Hornby

The absence of key negatives was much more important than any positive.

“Oh, hi.” She had the presence of mind to keep the last vowel short. Elongating it, she felt, would have suggested an enthusiasm and excitement that she’d rather not reveal.

“Are you OK? About this evening, I mean . . .” “The police? It pisses me off but then I think of what it’s like in America. Most of the time, the feds here are just arseholes who get bored and wander off. Over there, they kill you. Well. Not you.”

“Yeah. That’s what a college education does for you.” “What, it teaches you everything?” “No. It just makes you sure.”