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February 4 - February 9, 2023
I’d made a deal with the devil, tasted his brand of sin in hell and as the fables always said, once you indulged in the food of the underworld, you were stuck in its depths forever.
“It’s you who’s stuck with me, little warrior. Not lettin’ you go now. Not fuckin’ ever.”
If I have to kill every single fuckin’ man on this goddamn planet to be with you, Lou, you better believe that I fuckin’ will and I’ll do it with a fuckin’ smile.”
I wanted both. The princess and the sinner.
I’m the kinda man, someone wrongs you, I cause him the equivalent in pain. I’m a man of loyalty and vengeance, violence and sex.
“You want me, little girl? You want the man who’ll always right your wrongs with blood and teach you all’a the dark ways of life, includin’ how to take a cock and make it come? Who’ll tell you what to do to please him and expect you to obey?”
I’ll teach you to touch that pretty pussy for me until you’re so wet I can smell it, then you’ll come exactly when I tell you to, and we’ll see if you’re good enough to be mine.”
“You feel you’ve gotta pray to get through this ’fore I give you the okay to come, you do that, little girl,” he drawled.
“Eyes on me,” he barked.
“You can come whenever,” he muttered then blew a cool gust of air over my clit, leaned forward, and gave it a short, wide lick with the flat of his tongue.
“Saw you in the parking lot of First Light with velvet fuckin’ bows in your hair lookin’ at me like I was your saviour. Saw you drunk as fuck outside Nova’s girl Lila’s house lookin’ like somethin’ I dreamed up even stinkin’ like you did. Saw you again in this club in hardly anythin’ at all charmin’ near everyone around you with that halo of good you wear in your golden hair… Little girl, I told you, I’ve seen it all. But until you, didn’t know if any of it was worth it.”
“The first seventeen years of my life, I fasted. I kept my body clean and my spirit pure. Now, I want to feast like a glutton, spread lust on my breakfast toast, shoot violence, and sip greed. And I want you to teach me, sinner man, because you’re the only man for the job,” I told him.
He tasted like whiskey and smoke, hot and sinful on my tongue and I knew if wickedness had a taste, it would be him.
Welcome to the dark side, then, little Lou.”
The sound’a my name in her mouth, comin’ off her lips like a prayer sounded both blasphemous and right. She was done prayin’ at the altar of another man’s church, now she worshipped at my feet and made me feel like my namesake, god of fuckin’ Olympus.
“Fuck, God, no, Jesus,” she chanted but her hands were in my hair and usin’ it like reins to keep my tongue workin’ her even as she came down. “Don’t interrupt a man when he’s eatin’, little girl.”
“This is it,” I warned her. “I’m it for you after this.” “You’ve always been it for me,” she gutted me by saying.
“You come for me, you do it sayin’ my name. You do it knowin’ you’ve got me inside you and you do it knowin’ all that I am.”
If I’d had any doubt before, it was fuckin’ clear to me now that Lou was mine. Didn’t give a single fuck that there were a million and one fuckin’ things that made her forbidden to me.
Smoothed a hand down her hair and twisted it all up in one of my hands so I could tug it back and force her eyes to mine. They unveiled like heavy curtains, the kinds in old movie theatres my uncle had taken me to as a kid. Glamorous. That was the old Hollywood word for what Lou was, all woman, all sass, all fuckin’ gumption all the time with a sweet center just for her man. Just for me.
Even the pain, I’d loved. Loved knowing that I was suffering through it to accept him because I knew the best things were always hard to come by and I loved working for it, for him and his monster cock.
“That’s it, little girl. Come for Daddy,” he growled.
“First off, I’m not bangin’ you. I’m fuckin’ you regular and I plan to do it for a long fuckin’ time to come. I also plan to take you out for sustenance between fucks and teach you to party like I said I would ’fore we fucked ’cause I’m a man of my word. I know it’s gonna be fuckin’ complicated but I was serious last night, Lou. You’re my woman now. Maybe you don’t understand that.”
“You’ll be my old lady. You’ll stand by my side at club parties, at functions. You’ll sleep in my bed as much as possible until I can get it so you do that every damn night. You’ll meet my kids and suffer through that drama with me ’cause they’re my life and so’re you. You’ll take my cock whenever I want to give it to you and you’ll take my words whenever I need to give ’em to you. And when I’m an asshole, ’cause I’m a man and I got that in me to give, you’ll give me a piece of your mind and then forgive me.”
“Watch that mouth, little girl, or I’ll put it to better use, yeah?” He glowered at me, but his grey eyes were bright with warmth. I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever.” “Whatever, she says,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You a teenage girl or the woman who’s all woman I took to my bed last night twice and again this mornin’?” “Both, and you love it, you dirty old man,”
“Jesus,” she cursed, her legs shakin’ violently on my shoulders. “Zeus,” I corrected her before bitin’ into the tender junction of her groin and thigh. “There’s no God but this devil in your bed.”
“What does a big badass biker man eat for breakfast?” “Virgins,” I deadpanned.
I wanted her to be my religion, the reason the sun rose and fell each day. The reason for my entire fuckin’ existence.
“How’s my Queen doin’?” She sighed dreamily, clutching his wrists as they cupped her face. “Better now you’re back.” Zeus snorted. “Boy went to get fuckin’ ice, woman. He didn’t go off to war.”
“You remember what I said about eatin’ this ass, Lou?” A delicate shudder rippled her spine. I chased it with my hand movin’ down her back the way you soothed a horse before mountin’ it for the first time. Then ’cause I was addicted to the taste of her, I fell to my forearms and buried my face in that lush ass.
I wanted time with him, I needed it more than I needed my next breath and even those were limited.
There wasn’t time and there wasn’t much of a choice, but whatever was left of both, I wanted to use it to be with Zeus Garro. It had never occurred to me that he might not want to spend that time with me.
“What does this mean for us?” she asked, her voice girlish with fear.
That fear wrapped cold fingers around my heart and squeezed like a motherfucker. “Nothin’. You’re still my girl and I’m still your man. You need anythin’, I’m here for you. That includes puke clean up, pickin’ up drugs at the pharmacy, all that kinda shit. It also means you need someone to sit in the hospital with ya and your parents are too fuckin’ selfish to do it themselves, all the better for me ’cause I’m gonna be here every fuckin’ time.”
“Do you think I’ll go to heaven?” she asked me. “Fuck yeah, which sucks for me.”
“Now, I ain’t makin’ you any promises here, little warrior, but if your fine ass is going to heaven—and it fuckin’ well is—I’ll find a way to get there too. If I gotta move into that fuckin’ church and pay penance every goddamn hour, I’ll do it. If I gotta give up boozin’, guns, and drug runnin’, I’ll fuckin’ well do it and I’d do it now if it meant I got a place beside my girl behind those pearly gates.”
“I love you, ya know?” He smiled under my questing mouth. “Love you like it’s my religion, little Lou.”
But the first day of the New Year was even better because I’d woken up beside my man and I was in the mood to worship at the altar of my god.
“My girl loves her hair,” he muttered.
“You know what I love, Lou? Love the shape of your face like a heart in my hands, the way your lips look swollen and so fuckin’ lush even ’fore I kiss ’em. Love the way your ribs narrow and your hips curve so there’s this space for my big hand right at your waist. Love the skin behind your knees and ears, at the base of your throat, and between your plump tits ’cause it’s so fuckin’ sensitive and it flushes such a pretty pink.”
“You lose your moonbeam hair, your bombshell shape, and your sexual appetite, I don’t give a fuck. ’Cause I love your soul better than I love anythin’ else and that includes the fan-fuckin-tastic package it comes in. You got me, Lou?”
He cupped his hands around my face and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “Love you even when you don’t.”
“Yeah, little warrior. See, it’s important to me you get that I’m in this with you. Can’t suffer what you suffer, can’t take that pain from ya like I want to more than fuckin’ anythin’. But I can stand with you. Don’t know if you’ll lose all that hair but if you do, I wanna do it with you.”
“This isn’t about that shit. We deserve each other ’cause we get each other. I know the heart of ya and you know the heart of me. Deservin’ or not deservin’ has nothin’ to do with it and it fuckin’ can’t ’cause if I get to thinkin’ ’bout that question, I lose every time.”
true fallen angel, too bad for heaven, too good for hell, stuck on earth like a living divinity.”
“You’re the fallen angel here, Lou, and I’m never fuckin’ givin’ ya back to heaven.”
“Cress and I are cuttin’ ours too. Just to our shoulders but we got long hair and we’re gonna donate the clippings to the cancer foundation that makes wigs for chemo patients,”
“Even the devil’s got nightmares, Lou, and mine is losin’ ya so you take care, you hear? No fuckin’ rebel schemes or heroics. You get outta there safe.”
That’s right, Zeus fuckin’ Garro, President of the maddest, baddest, fuckin’ richest MC in the country was praying. And he was praying with every atom of his crumblin’ black soul that God would send Lou back to him.
“Rest in peace, Walker Nixon,” I said, usin’ his full name for the last time. “Deserve more than this for the guardin’ you gave my girl. Wish you could know I’d sell my fuckin’ soul to get you back. For you, for me, for the club, and for our girl.”