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February 4 - February 9, 2023
Even at seven, I harbored a black rebel soul bound in velvet bows and bible verse.
“I got you, little girl,” he said in a voice as rough and deep as any monster’s, while he held me as if he were a guardian angel. “I got you.” I clutched a tiny fist into his blood-soaked shirt and stared into the eyes of my guardian monster until I lost consciousness.
I did know that my biker saviour was not a bad man.
What I’m also telling you is that the man he shot in the head was the man who put a bullet in your daughter, the same bullet that went through Garro’s own chest before it landed in hers. You want to talk about the damage that bullet could’ve done if it hadn’t lost speed going through that barrel of a man first?”
just because someone is not who you want them to be, it does not mean they are incapable of good.”
But if this man was a real angel, maybe it meant that I didn’t have to die. Maybe this angel man would wrap me up in his winged arms and make my bones stop hurting.
“Nah, kid, I’m no angel.” “That’s too bad. I was thinking you could be my guardian angel or something cool like that.”
Zeus was big and strong and I was pretty sure he was half angel, half monster, which meant that all the other monsters in the hospital wouldn’t hurt me if I stayed with him.
“Will you stay here all night and fight the monsters if they come to get me?” I asked him, looking around his little curtained room. “Do you have your lightning bolts with you?” “I got the bolts. You don’t worry, kid. I’ll stand watch.” “Promise?”
Zeus held out his pinky. It was four times the size of mine and for some reason, I thought that was really cool. I linked min...
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My grandpa had always warned my mum that I was attracted to dark and damaged things. I was just a kid, but I was a smart one and I knew Zeus was both of those things.
A fallen angel. A monster, but a good one under all the scary.
“Bad things happen to good people, kid. Sucks that you’re sick at all. Tellin’ you now, you’re gonna get through this and even though I won’t be around to see it, I promise you, I know it. You said you trust me, right?”
“Then believe me,” he ordered. “I believe you,” I whispered.
Do you think I am going to die? If I do, can I come stay with you in hell?
we can’t write to each other. You don’t get it now, but I’m a grown man and it’s fuckin’ feckin’ weird to write a seven-year-old little girl from prison.
P.S. I am worried about you in prison. Do they at least have lollipops there? I love lollipops, especially the cherry kind.
And I don’t got any lollipops, but gotta say, I don’t have a hankerin’ for ’em and straight up, kid? Those things will rot your teeth right out.
but sometimes a person’s got a soul so pretty it makes ’em glow prettier than anythin’ else.
our scars make us different and they make us hurt all the time and feel a little lonely. Only, we are lucky because we are bffs so we have each other. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I got you, Mr. Z.
Then there are the best kinda men, yeah? The ones that man-up and claim a woman the way a woman wants and needs to be claimed. He sees somethin’ he likes, he goes up, lays it out, and asks her out. He does what he needs to do to get to know her, listenin’, spendin’ the money, and, better, the time to know her mind so he can rock her world. Somethin’ fucks with her, that man is gonna throw down to make it right again. She wants somethin’ he can’t immediately get her? That guy’s gonna work his fuckin’ ass off to get it for her just for a chance to get some more of her sweetness. That’s the kinda
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Men forget to treat women with tender affection and platonic encouragement. Lust was no worthy substitute for pure care.
In my dirtiest fantasies, she tasted like cherry lollipops, the kind she’d liked as a kid. I was sick. Sick with lust for a girl nineteen years younger than me and morally sick because of it.
With or without me, Loulou Lafayette was going over to the dark side. And I’d decided I’d be the welcoming committee.
She was the definition of off-fuckin’-limits even for a man like me who didn’t go in for rules.
it was hot as fuck that she was so young, so fresh, like a blank wall in front of a graffiti artist, I wanted to stripe her in paint, draw her up in anarchy.
He’d been my guardian monster, the saviour who had first taken a bullet for me and then saved me from living through my first round of cancer alone. He’d been, quite simply, my everything. And now, it seemed, I was nothing to him.
“Take a sip of it, little girl. Let’s see how well you swallow the fire down that delicate throat, how you like the burn of it in your belly. I think I might like the sight’a ya with tears in your eyes as you try to take what I give you.”
“Kade.” The one word echoed through the room like thunder. It was a warning that the lightning wouldn’t be far behind. Zeus, the god of thunder, was finally paying attention.
You fuck with the The Fallen, you court death. Simple as that.”
Dark forest—pine and cedar, fresh air bitten with the slight tang of tobacco. I dragged the heady mixture into my lungs, closed my eyes, and committed it to memory.
Something dark and eager inside my soul called out to him, wanted to test his edges like a sharp blade point against my thumb. I wanted to see how far I could push him, if it was farther than anyone else ever had and what he would do when I finally went too far. Something told me, it would be just as dirty and dark as I’d always imagined.
even if no one else was aware of it, Loulou Lafayette was mine and she had been since she was seven years old whether it was fucked or not.
She made a man who’d felt like a monster his entire life, feel like a fuckin’ angel.
“Behave,” I ordered. “Yes, Daddy,” she answered, humor rich in her voice. I reached out to smack her ass, hard. She squealed, her free hand coming to rub over the hurt as she frowned at me.
It was gettin’ harder to believe this girl, this teenage daughter of my arch-nemesis and renowned good girl, wasn’t fuckin’ made for me.
“Don’t insult me. We met amid a hail of gunfire and the first time we touched, a bullet connected us chest to chest. Don’t pretend I don’t know all that you are.”
“I know enough and when you’re ready to share more, I won’t run away scared because you’re the person I’ve always run to when I am.”
“No touchin’,” I rasped, hatin’ that my heart beat harder against her palm like it wanted closer to ’er. Surprisingly, she backed off with her hands in the air and a wicked smile on her full mouth. “Sorry, Daddy. I’ll be a good girl.” I ran a hand down my face, scrubbing at the wariness behind my eyes as I listened to her laugh at my reaction. Fuck me, I was too old for this shit.
Mute was my constant shadow and one I found I loved. I liked his largeness, his quietness, and the way he lumbered in a manner that was somehow graceful. I never would have told him to his face, but he reminded me somewhat of Frankenstein’s monster, a creature made for violence with a surprising kindness of spirit.
I was a woman, one with dark thoughts and deviant desires. There was no changing the tapestry of my psyche now. Whether it had been the violence of the shooting, the rigidity of Lafayette family rules, or something intrinsic to my DNA, I craved the darkness. Even more, I craved the god who ruled from it.
AC/DC’s “Sink the Pink”
“No, but I fuckin’ well plan on it. You wanted me to touch you, Lou, you wanted to tempt the fuckin’ beast? Well, here he is. Now, tell me has anyone been inside this young, fresh pussy, Lou?”
“Remember you asked for this, little girl,” Zeus ordered, his face savage with desire and all I could see as he leaned over me. “You begged me to touch your pretty young pussy and now I’m not going to stop until your cum is drippin’ from my fingers like honey.”
“I dare you to try,”
A wicked grin cut across his face. “You say my name when you come.”
“Wanna see your face as you struggle to take alla me in this tight cunt. Tell me, Lou, when I first break through, will you cry pretty tears for me?”
“You don’t like it when I cry.”
“New rule. You’re allowed to cry when I claim you as mine.”
“Show me how fuckin’ gorgeous you are when you come all over my hand,” he said.
