There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

by Jeff Mach

That is the thing for anyone who generally moves through time at a consistent rate of an instant every instant: the use of your limited time is the measure of what you are. The distribution of your hourglass-sand is important. One of the most critical steps towards self-definition is the choice of how to invest your passion.

(Hint: Many ensorcelled things are much less useful than one would like. Bags which hold more things than they ought to tend to be hungry, and go snapping after spare change, shiny stuff, and fingers. Seven-league boots have a preference for landing you face-first in trees and rocks. And swords? It’s true what they say; the more powerful the sword, the more it seeks to cut things open. Anything. And anyone. In essence, most magic doesn’t attach itself to an object for the pleasure of the random person who might pick it up.