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“I love you.” It jolts me, and I hang onto those words, my veins pulsing. She’s only ever said I’m falling in love with you. It could just be a drunken slip, but it’s like a drug. And I fall to sleep with in an indescribable high.
Aunt Daisy has taught me to use my voice, even if the world says stay quiet. Aunt Lily has taught me fierce courage, even on days when you feel lesser than. And Rose Calloway Cobalt, my mom—she’s taught me how to walk into a room full of men and never back down. She’s taught me familial love. And loyalty.
She’s taught me how femininity is everything and anything. Harsh and icy. Soft and stiff. Boisterous and unruly. Timid and unrelenting. Oxymorons and complements and conundrums that no one needs to understand. We’re women because we say so. We feel so. And that realization freed me.
Jack is by far the happiest person I’ve ever met in the best and worst times.
He shows me a picture of Maximoff and Farrow as they stroll across the plateau hand-in-hand, and Maximoff is sweeping the lush landscape in silent awe. All the while, Farrow is staring deeply at him with a cheek-to-cheek smile.
He greets, “Mon coeur.” My heart. Hearing his voice causes a small wave of homesickness. There’s no one like my dad, and I love him very much so.
I fucking love Connor cobalt
“Are you rescinding the invitation?” “No. But the more he avoids my calls, the more he reminds me of the only person who consistently hangs up on me—and I never imagined my firstborn daughter would date a man like Ryke Meadows.”
😭😭😭
“Because I want you around me every hour of every day. Not just as a bodyguard but as a boyfriend. In these small moments, I feel it tenfold. And I shouldn’t want it. I just shouldn’t. It makes me some co-dependent, weak-willed girl like all these people have theorized for years. I’m proving them right—and…and…” I can’t breathe.
“We’re done. I’m done.” Oh God. He grinds down on his teeth. “What are you saying?” I’m wide-eyed. “You’re breaking up with me?” “I am.” The words release quicker than I realize.
SORRY WHAT ?!
And I’ll just stop talking…” I want to tell her to never stop. I want to tell her that I could listen to her forever.
We’ve never had sex without a condom, and I’m not buying into the theory that it’ll feel miraculously better without one. I’d rather be safe, most especially since I’m not on birth control.
thank god
While Maximoff jogs past, Farrow gives him a blatant once-over, and we all watch Maximoff trip on a rug. Everyone laughs, and my lip begins to lift. “Jesus Christ,” Maximoff curses. “You didn’t see that.” “I definitely did,” Farrow teases.
Charlie repeats, the music shrill. “You do know Mom used to break up with Dad before they were married. All the fucking time. But she would do it because she was pissed at him. Not at herself.” He waves a hand at me. “There’s a lot of self-loathing coming from this corner.”
LOL Charlie is funny as fuck
“That’s one of my favorite things about being with someone.” He sips his beer. “What is?” I pop in a battery with one hand. “Going through shit together. Growing with the person you love.” He smiles into his next swig, his gaze on Maximoff Hale.
When we look over at Jane and Maximoff, we notice they’re already watching us, their expressions thunderstruck and curious: mouths gaping, eyes cinched, question marks dangling over their heads. It’s fucking comical. “He’s too precious.” Farrow grins at him. Maximoff scowls and flips him off.
“Yeah. Okay. Cool.” Xander nods. Easton nods. “Cool.” I suppress a smile and adjust my earpiece. Not interfering, but man, I feel like a proud Mother Goose who sent her little chickadee out into the world.
awww
“Are you sure you don’t want us to snowshoe?” Donnelly wonders with a frown. “Positive,” Luna nods. “Don’t sacrifice your life for a tampon.” “More like your comfort, you know?” Donnelly shrugs.
I love donnelly
“I don’t need a career to be a smart woman.” I go on. “I don’t need a job to be talented. I am both smart and possess talent, and the love that I give is just as important as the fashion empire my mom built. I am enough just as I am.”
Farrow sprints in front and blocks him, a hand to his chest. “Wolf scout, let’s hear Jane out before we go on a fictional manhunt.” He glares. “If someone hurt my little sister, it’s not going to be a fucking fictional manhunt. I’m going to kill him with a switchblade laced in arsenic.”
He loves Moffy terribly so, and he’s the type of person who’d never put his love in harm’s way, even at the sake of making a point.
With reddened eyes, he says, “You can’t make me stop.” It’s the truest thing he’s ever said. Addiction is a wretched monster, and the only one who can truly defeat addiction is the addict.
“You’re not taking coke. You freaked out when you ate a pot cookie. I call your bluff.” Charlie reaches into his back pocket. “We thought you’d say that.” He procures a small baggie. Filled with white powder.
DAMN.
“People do stupid things when they’re in love,” Charlie says, but it’s not in disdain. It’s warm, heartfelt and he looks at me like he’s acknowledging that I am stupid-in-love with his sister. And fuck it, that’s the best outcome there is.
“Sadistic.” Charlie nods slowly. “You want to see sadistic?” He addresses the room. “Just so everyone is aware—this isn’t Banks Moretti.” He points at me.
no fucking way
“He jerked away after touching the hair on her leg.” I hold the phone to my mouth. “Fuuuuck this knuckle-fuckbag.” My blood is boiling. Akara laughs. “Shit. I needed that.” He means the laugh. “What’s he looking for, a two-holed plastic doll?” I shake my head.
Selfishly, we’d both love for them to break up, but our opinions on the guy don’t hold weight to hers, and that’s how it should be. We’re not the ones making out with him.
real af. I already love them for her
We’re losing everything. Akara as SFO lead.
nahhh wtf
I stare around the quiet Mackintosh House that isolated our frustration, anger, feuds, fistfights, hurt, and rage—but I’m going to remember the good. The laughter, the love.
Truth: 9 times out of 10, Uncle Loren will find a way to either pull Lily away or become a part of the PJ party. He might also be the biggest gossip queen of us all, so I don’t even mind the addition.
“I’m scared to love him, but God, I do. So infinitely and terribly.”
“You’re not two halves, Jane. You don’t lose when you love. You gain.” She draws closer to whisper, “You have all of him.” And he has all of me.
“I need you. I need you like the air I breathe, and I want you like ground beneath my feet. I’m not afraid—I’m not afraid, not even a little. You are the man who has respected all of who I am and protected every little piece of me.”
I want to be a wife and to one day raise children, a life as traditional as they come, and that ending is as worthy as any other.
“Lastly,” Connor said, “don’t apologize for trying to deceive me, but I will accept an apology for failing.”
loll
I’m staring at round, blue orbs for eyes. A tiny brown nose. Two perked ears. Long whiskers and dark-striped fur. I’ve been to enough cat shelters to know what I’ve found. I’m staring at a tabby kitten. How could this happen? Out of all times and all days and all gas stations…
naur way
I belong here. Not anywhere else.” Not because of Jane. But because when it comes down to it, I’m a fucking lion. I’m a shark.
Maybe they never explained these dinners because you can’t. I’m twenty-eight, but here—no person is older or younger. Time is frozen, and a soul-bleeding feeling sings and screams—an experience that philosophers and mathematicians would fail to encapsulate. I’d try. But then again, I’d rather carry their secrets to my grave.
I let the reflex take over me, and I touch the top of her head, lovingly, and I run back to the house. My strong pulse beats in my ears.
lord have mercy
“I love him,” I cry. “I love him…I love him.” My biggest regret is not saying it enough.
no way, this is fucking crazy
I need you exactly as you are, just as you’ve loved me as exactly as I am.”
Akara was always a better leader than me. He still is, and to lose him is to lose the best authority the team has ever seen.
:(((
I take the papers and instantly see the typed title. Kitsuwon Securities Inc. This is a contract. He’s building his own private security firm.
YAYY
Oscar looks around. “Who has a pen?” We’re all smiling. Happiness doesn’t encapsulate what hits the air. It’s elation. Rapture. Akara tries to restrain his smile. “Come on, guys. Think about this.” “What’s there to think about?” Farrow asks, chewing gum casually. “Yeah, boss. We heard all we needed to.” Donnelly slips a pen out from behind his ear.
awww they love each other so much
I can live inside hell, but for the first time, I’ve finally reached heaven—and I’m happy and I’m staying. I’m staying. To build a life and future and family. Right here, with Jane Eleanor Cobalt. For forever.
My parents congratulate us, both near tears, though my mom will vehemently deny it, and then my dad tells me that I was quicker than him. To accept love. He rarely admits to being second-best at anything, so his words swell my heart.
