The Best Thing

by Mariana Zapata

According to Grandpa Gus, I had let the strange man sit by himself for all of two minutes before I’d climbed up onto his lap at the age of three and passed out against him, holding his hand.

Because that was what he did: leave.

“Rip said something similar a few days ago, but what can I say? I’ve mastered my craft by learning from the best,” she said, referring to her husband.

luna and rip <333

The things I thought in my head were a different story.

Those honey-colored eyes were still on me, and I could see the deep, drawn breath he took in.

The best thing in my life. The best thing, period.

She was my seven-pound, eight-ounce surprise when she’d been born. The instant love of my life. The best thing I ever did.

“Grandpa Gus is gonna go kill somebody. You wanna come with me? You wanna help bury your daddy?”

when something was really bothering her and she knew there was no point in raging over it, or even thinking about it any longer than she needed to, that she would imagine balling it like a piece of paper and throwing it away. That was what I did right then: I threw it away.

So when he sighed in the middle of me sniffing Mo’s neck while she giggled,

I HAVE BABY FEVER READING THIS BOOK

He was faking it.

OMG COME ON. NO HE IS NOT

“There’s no choice, sweetheart.”

“Seeing my daughter.” He took a breath. “My Mo… if that’s all right.” Seeing his Mo. His daughter.

Jonah took Mo… his daughter… and he said, very softly, very gently, and with just the slightest hint of a tremble in his voice, “Hello, Mo.” The happiest baby in the world smiled before she replied in her own language.

I was not going to waste my life being pissed off at someone. I had better shit to do. People didn’t give enough credit to what not giving a fuck could do for you. It was freedom.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not leaving, Lenny.”

I made a face at my girl who responded by grinning.

“Would you like to go for a walk around the neighborhood with Mo and me?” I made myself ask as I licked the rest of what she didn’t eat off the spoon. His “yeh” was so instant I had to glance at him. Did he have to sound so excited?

We should go to the catacombs when I get back from Toulouse, yeh? We never made it to the catacombs. I had never made it to the catacombs.

Our girl. He’d gone with that, huh? Fine.

Regret was a weird thing.

You did something and you could regret it, or you could not do something and regret it. You never knew which way it would go. Everything in life is a gamble.

They were both looking at each other… but she had a hand on the tip of his nose, was mumbling who the hell knew what, and he was smiling at her from under her grip and asking, “Yeah? Is that what you think?”

If you want something to work, you find a way to make it,

“No offense, love, but I don’t care whether you want to know or not.

“But you did know me,” he said, intensely. “I’d like you to get to know me again. Not just Mo. I want you to know who I am too.”

“You’re confusing worst with fun. Funnest. Best.”

“Nah, sweetheart.

“You’re a sweetheart, Lenny.”

Hi and Iloveyousomuch and Imissedyousomuch and Howwasschool? Her reply was to pull on my hair that had fallen out of my ponytail and landed on her face.

His eyes flicked from me to Mo and back again, and the smile that came over his face was more genuine than I ever could have hoped for.

“But she will. She’ll know she’s mine. She’ll never doubt it.”

Protective of him too. This big man with his quiet voice and infinite patience. Someone who felt the weight of a life on his heart and wasn’t trying to run away from it. But had instead instantly stepped into

Jonah Hema Collins was no deadbeat.

I’d remember the next words out of his mouth every day of my life. I would remember them each time I thought I had no idea what I was doing being a mom. Jonah Collins squeezed my hand. That muscular shoulder rolled upward, and he said, in a rough voice, gripping my fingers tight, “What a gift you’ve given me, Lenny.”

When life throws bad shit at you, you dodge it and throw whatever you can right back.

“Lenny, love, I’ve been getting tackled since I was—” All right. He’d said it.

This fool fucking burst out laughing. “Bloody hell, Lenny, how’d you do that?”

“Mate, you keep raising your voice, and we’re going to have a problem.”

Normal Jonah looked at me with only a hint of tightness at his jaw. “I didn’t mean to use that tone around you.”

“Anything for you, Len.”

He set the smoothie on the surface of the desk and nudged it toward me. “For you.” I looked at him. “For me?” Jonah nodded. Huh. I gave him a little smile and pulled it toward me, taking a sip. It was my favorite, Orange Sunshine. “Thanks.” He just smiled.

Warm breath hit my ear, and I held my breath as I glanced out of the corner of my eye to find Jonah’s face directly next to mine, his cheek moving into place right there….

“I wanted to bring you a snack and see if you wanted to have lunch.”

“Do you want… to come with us?” The fact he instantly said “Sure” was a spear straight into my stupid-ass heart.

“It’s all good. I’m not particular about what we do.” One of his dimples popped. “I’d do anything with you.”

“Whatever you need.”

“No, love. I was never mad.”

“Leaving you and not being brave enough to call you for almost two years.”