The Best Thing

by Mariana Zapata

I could feel the tension at my elbow from how hard I was choking the innocent ball that had never done anything to me but had probably saved more than a couple of the people at the gym from murder when they screwed up or were just flat-out dumbasses. The soft yellow ball was honestly one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone had ever given me. It was a decent replacement for the nut sacks I wished I could squeeze the hell out of when someone pissed me off.

i dont know this bitch but she is already so me coded

“He left me,” I tried to tell him, struggling a whole hell of a lot with getting that reality out. Acknowledging it. Tasting it. But even if something seemed good, didn’t mean it actually was. Saying it didn’t make it any less abrasive… but maybe one day it would. Maybe. “But not her.” Me. Not her.

dude i’m so confused what is the tea

Mo’s little kitten cries. The same kitten cries that melted my heart every time I heard them. Even when I was tired and crankier than hell. Even when I was worried and overwhelmed. Even when I was scared and didn’t know how the hell I was still alive and who had been dumb enough to give me such a huge responsibility. I stood up before Grandpa made a move to go to the stairs. “I’ll go get her. You calm down in the meantime and remember all the reasons why you would hate going to jail if you got caught committing a felony,” I said before heading up to the second floor two steps at a time. What a fucking mess. Down the hall and two doors down, beside my bedroom, I walked right into the bright room and headed straight toward the crib. And as much as I was flustered, I couldn’t help but grin as I peeked over the railing a second before I picked Mo up. “Hey, chunky monkey,” I said, smiling at the one thing in this world that scared the shit out of me more than everything and anything else ever had combined. I had cried a month straight when I had first seen the positive pregnancy test staring back at me. Then I had spent the next six months staying up at night, unable to sleep, because I’d been terrified that I didn’t know what the hell I was getting myself into. That I had made the wrong decision. She was my seven-pound, eight-ounce surprise when she’d been born. The instant love of my life. The best thing I ever did. She was the sweetest, happiest baby in the world. And I’d he...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TEA OK

He told me he would call me. He got hurt. He disappeared. For. Seventeen. Months.

ok i know mans was injured in his occipital bone like what if he was blinded for like months or something idk its book tingle time and that’s what it’s telling me

But I’d learned the hard way that he hadn’t been as confident as I had expected. Otherwise he wouldn’t have just… fallen off the face of the earth after his injury. I’d been injured countless times and didn’t wallow in my own bullshit for long.

what if he lost his eye and he has one of those fake replica things idk dude i’m winging this like skat jazz

Noah had been my best friend. We’d grown up together. We’d studied judo together at the same club for fifteen years. And for a couple months, I had thought I’d been more than half in love with someone who couldn’t see me as more than what I had been to him: the girl who he’d grown up with. His kind-of sister. His friend. Then one random day, I had taken a look at him and decided yeah, no. It might have been the day after I overheard him bragging about having sex with one of my friends, but it happened. Just, nope. Nah. And as I’d gotten older, I had realized that I hadn’t loved him. Not like that. It had just been… a lapse of judgment. Hormones maybe. But I had stuck around after I’d come to my senses. Because maybe he could be a douchebag, but he’d been my friend. He’d known me back then better than just about anyone other than Peter and my gramps. He’d been my friend. Or so I thought. Then, many years later, after we had both grown up, I got pregnant, and he suddenly lost his shit and left. And now he was here. Calling me, asking about something that had nothing to do with him. Not anymore.

cunt

“I got your first messages,” Jonah continued. “I told you. I saved them. Even the angry ones.” The ugly feeling made my stomach churn. “Look, I just wanted to know if you were being honest about knowing or not. I don’t need to know what—” The hand that wasn’t holding Mo’s foot reached out, cool fingertips touching the top of my hand over my shins. “No offense, love, but I don’t care whether you want to know or not. I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up, but I can’t do that. I don’t want you thinking for any longer than you already have that I left because of you.” That fucking ugly feeling in my stomach churned again, crawling up my esophagus and wanting this conversation to be over with. “Jonah—” The Asshole shook his head. “No, Lenny, you have to hear me out. Please.” His hand closed over the top of mine, and I didn’t move it. I wasn’t retreating. That wasn’t me. “It’s no excuse, I know, but I was in a crap state of mind then.” He winced. “I shut myself off from everyone. Everything, really. My family. My mates. My team. Physios. Everyone.” His hand squeezed over mine, but I couldn’t move it. “You.” Me. He remembered he’d left me hanging. How about that? Jonah kept going. “It was stupid and reckless, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my bloody life. I thought my life was over. All the work, the sacrifices….” The fingers over mine jerked so slightly I thought I might have imagined it. But I didn’t. And I still didn’t move my hand away. “I had to get away, even from myself...

ok so maybe my blind theory was wrong

The last thing I expected was the hand that moved from a small cheek to the hand I had resting on the top of my thigh. Warm, rough fingers slid over my own like it was totally normal. I’d remember the next words out of his mouth every day of my life. I would remember them each time I thought I had no idea what I was doing being a mom. Jonah Collins squeezed my hand. That muscular shoulder rolled upward, and he said, in a rough voice, gripping my fingers tight, “What a gift you’ve given me, Lenny.”

oh so i’m crying

You’re the first person to stand up for me like that in about twenty years. It was nice, and I appreciate it.” He blinked and the very tall man, who I had mistakenly thought was all teddy bear but really had some honey badger DNA in him apparently, smiled at me with that gentle, sweet smile that I really did like a little too much. More than the serial killer one, if I had to pick. “Anything for you, Len.” And there he went.

HI SIR

“I’m taking Jonah and Mo with me.” That got me a blink. “Emmett is going with you?”

i ducking love her grandfather

“Listen to me, Len. I liked you heaps, heaps, do you hear me?” I could feel his gaze like a laser burning holes into the side of my face as I looked out the window. “I ruined this, and I know that, and I want to make it up to you. I’m trying to, slowly. But you have to know: I left because I was a fucking arsehole. I hated myself. Honest, hate for being such a damn fool and not avoiding that tackle. I didn’t think anyone would understand, but I see now that you would have, and I’m sorry, love. I’m so damn sorry I left the way I did. If I could take anything back, it would be that. If I could make it up to you somehow, I would, but I know that I can’t, and I still want to try anyway.” The fingers on my hand tightened, and Jonah edged over as much as he could in his seat. “I’m trying my best here, and I’ll keep on trying my best, do you understand? I want you to get to know me again. I want you to be my friend again. I want to be more than that—” “Jonah, stop.” My voice was shaky, and I felt like my chest had been cracked open more than any time in the past. “No.” His forehead came to rest against the side of mine, and I didn’t let myself close my eyes. I made myself keep them open and aimed out the windshield. “I came back here for you.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and try to lean away… but he wouldn’t let me. His hand curled over my neck, keeping me in place. “Why are you doing this?” “What? Why am I telling you this?” “Yeah,” I told him, speaking around the knot that...

i need to go to court and apply for guardianship for this man are you shitting my nuts right now

I went right into it. “My grandpa and Peter have been in a relationship for the last twenty-eight years.” My body prepared…. And all Jonah said was, “Yeh, I know.” What? “What do you mean you know?” “I know. I assumed,” he said easily, not sounding even the slightest bit surprised. “They live in the same house together, share a room, always sit next to one another. I’ve seen how they look at each other. Those comments your granddad’s ex was hinting at helped too. I hoped you would tell me when you were ready. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for them to keep it a secret, but I understand why they’ve had to. It made me a bit sad the first time I thought about it, Lenny.”

GET IT GRANDPA

So I went for it. Fuck it. “Well, I told him I was in love with your dumb ass.” I heard him exhale. And I definitely heard him when he said in a clear, clear voice, “Did you tell him that I love you back?” There was a pause. “Or that his time had passed, and that I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again?” I pressed my lips together as my eyes started to sting out of nowhere. “No. I didn’t tell him that.” His voice was a husky grumble. “You should have. Because it’s the truth. Because I love you and Mo so much, I’m going to make up the last seventeen months to you both, Len.” He paused. “If you’ll let me.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Jonah, I’m gay. Is that going to be a problem?” Peter’s head immediately swiveled in my direction, and we made eye contact. Yeah, he’d gone there. And it was while I was processing that, that the man sitting beside me said, “You’re a bit older than what I’m usually interested in, but….” I was already snorting by the time Grandpa Gus shook his head and started walking out of the living room, calling out behind him, “You two deserve each other. Goodnight.”