The Life That Mattered (Roe & Evie, #1; Life, #1)

by Jewel E. Ann

After Lila rushed past him, he tipped the bellboy, watching him retreat toward the elevator for a few seconds before returning his attention to me. “So you don’t have to listen to her scream.” Graham handed me a keycard. “Hmm … she’s never mentioned screaming. You must be referencing a movie, not actual events.”

“Oh my god! There he is,” Lila whispered when the elevator doors opened to the lobby just as Ronin strutted with jaw-dropping swagger toward the steakhouse. “Oh my god? Clearly, I didn’t fuck you hard enough earlier,” Graham grumbled.

“Gauge your love for him by his love for you.” “That sounds selfish. Like I love myself more.” A smile stole my mouth, and I think she got my point before I said it, but I said it anyway. “Love yourself more.”

“I’ll walk you to your door,” Evelyn said as she turned off her Jeep. “God …” I laughed, shaking my head. “That’s messed up. Now I feel a huge urgency to get my own vehicle. I think I’ll go tomorrow to buy one just so you don’t ever have to walk me to my door again.”

“What is this?” she whispered when I eased her to her feet. We weren’t drunk on alcohol, but clearly intoxicated with some thing. My lips brushed hers while my fingers threaded through her hair. “I don’t know.” I grinned. Biting her bottom lip, I sucked it slowly before releasing it. “But I can’t wait to find out.”

One hit. I was an Evelyn addict from one hit. Every day felt borrowed since my accident. Every minute felt like the first and the last. Right then Evelyn became my beginning and my end—origin and destination. And maybe … if the impossible could find a way to be possible, she could be everything in between.

He locked into his skis and helped me into mine. I started to fall to the side. When he caught me, I gave him a tight-lipped grin. “You’ve been warned. And I’m certain after you witness this catastrophe that is me, you will never get a hard-on for me again.” “I’m going to stick my hard-on in your mouth later, if you don’t stop saying stupid shit like that.” I liked Ronin’s dirty mouth. I knew I’d miss it when he broke up with me in approximately thirty minutes, but I didn’t say that.

“I don’t think my feelings are overboard. They’re mine. You can’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about shit! Okay?”

So we slipped. We fell … “Roe … don’t say it,” I whispered. He loved me. And I loved him. It had never been said, but it was always there. He pulled back enough to see my eyes, a ghost of concern sliding across his face. “It’s too late.” I eased his concern with a little grin, feathering my fingernails down his back. “It’s too big for words now. Don’t belittle it with a four-letter word. It’s too intangible. Too undefinable. Don’t ever tell me what you can show me.”

“They were talking about your wood, Ronin.” Lila smirked from around her spoon. “Yes. Benedict would’ve been proud of all your wood.” Grandma nodded. I bit back my grin. “Ronin is good with wood. And he definitely has a lot of it.” Lila choked on her spoon. Ronin shifted me on his lap, so I could feel his wood. “I do my best. Evelyn likes it hot, so that requires lots of wood.” I loved how my mom and grandma were oblivious to the innuendos of the conversation while Lila looked ready to pee her pants in the kitchen. My lips hurt from biting them so hard. “Your grandfather was the same way. He used to pack so much wood. But sometimes he’d forget to cover it, and it would get wet. Of course it was always my fault. He’d make up some reason why I distracted him; therefore, it was my fault the wood didn’t get covered and ended up wet.” “I can see that,” Ronin said like his mind wasn’t just as far down the gutter as Lila’s and mine. “It’s quite easy to get distracted and forget to cover the wood. If I’m honest, my wood has been wet quite often.” “And it matters if you’re burning softwood versus hardwood,” Mom added. This conversation wasn’t happening. Was it? How the hell did we let it get so far? My stomach ached from containing my laughter. “It really does.” Ronin nodded.

“She’s terrible. Right? The worst skier in the world.” I coughed a laugh. “Yes, she’s pretty bad, but I don’t care. I swear to god her willingness to try, for me, put her on this unreachable pedestal in my eyes. She’s fucking amazing.”

Love at first sight, destiny, or any fictional shit like that kept a safe distance from my existence. Then one day … Evelyn literally walked into my life, took a seat, and gave me this grin that I felt. Yes … I felt her grin. And while I had a gift—a curse really—for feeling things, a grin was not my usual superhuman sensation. I knew … I just knew I was in trouble—all from a grin.

That day in Vancouver, it felt like so much more than a stop along my way. It felt like I had arrived.” She glanced over her shoulder. I nipped at her lower lip. “That’s the thing about you, Evie … I had no idea I was waiting for someone until you arrived.”

“Evelyn is a horrific skier, but she tries.” He slid his hands along my neck to keep me focused on him. “It doesn’t matter. She’s going to marry me. She said as much the day we met.”

“Evelyn’s going to marry me. Maybe not until her mom is better. Maybe not until Lila and Graham are married. But she’s going to marry me. She’s going to have my babies.” How did he make it so public and incredibly intimate at the same time? “Right, Evie?” he whispered. An unexplainable warmth wrapped around my body. “Probably.” I smiled. “Probably …” he echoed just before kissing me.

“I promise to find you in every life … in every universe.” I smiled, blinking the snow from my eyelashes. Ronin grinned. “I promise to carry you down every mountain.” Everyone chuckled at Ronin’s humor. He squeezed my cold hands. “And shelter your heart, keeping it warm and safe next to mine in this life … in every life … and every universe.”

“We should have called them earlier. They’re going to miss it.” “Maybe. But we won’t miss it. At least I’m not going to miss it. I don’t know what your plans are.”

Life was about breaths and heartbeats. A smile. A wink. The squeeze of a hand. Sunrises and sunsets. The rest … it was all extra.