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“Skyscraper” by Demi Lovato.
Cutting and dying my hair was therapy. I did it for me, to show these assholes I’m not going to be that nice little scholarship girl anymore. Screw that.
why do we always take it out on our hair, no?
Knox is the cold one, never smiling, that scar slicing through his cheek and into his upper lip, disrupting the curve of his mouth and the perfection of his face.
“Like what you see, charity case? You can look, but you can’t touch.” Anger soars, replacing my embarrassment. I know I'm just the scholarship girl at Camden, but why does he have to constantly remind me? “Don't worry about me touching anything. I don’t like ugly.”
it's their foreplay, really
Rumor is he doesn’t kiss girls on the lips, but no matter how bad that scar screws up his face, he’s still the head Shark nonetheless.
hahaha the no-kissing MMCs!
Drunkenness does not equal acquiescence.
100%
Yes, I mentally whisper, my mouth tightening. I hope seeing me pisses you off. I’m not here for you, jock. I’m here for me.
Yes, Ava! So feisty
Funny—I never tell anyone who I fuck, but people always know.
Something’s going to trigger my memory and when it does, I’m going to kill him with my bare hands.” “I’ll kill him with my bare hands.” His eyes flash.
Oopsie
Sometimes the loneliest place on earth is in the midst of a crowd.
“Well, well, well, is a girl finally going to ruin the best bromance at Camden?”
wish it could be a menage/MFM but i know that's not possible
He bites his lips, a red blush rising up from his throat to his cheeks. “Fuck.” I gape. “What? I’m shocked you’re actually embarrassed. By the way, is it true you only do it from behind?” He glowers at me as his hands clench, and a fissure of triumph runs through my body. I finally got to him. “Ugh, you saw me!” His hands tug at his hair. “Uh-huh.” He blows out a breath. “Look, erase that from your head.” Not likely. “Just the thought of someone like you…seeing me like that…” He grimaces and scrubs his face. “I’m sorry you saw that.”
he's so freaking embarrassed! 🤣
“Knox?” “Yeah?” “You’re all I’ve got in the world, man.” You’re all I’ve got in the world. Dane-speak for I love you. I reach over and take his hand for a second. “Me too. Now go to sleep.”
awww. i love their brotherhood 😢
Everyone on the team freezes, and I…I feel like someone blindsided me with a two-by-four. My right fist connects with Liam’s face. His head snaps back but his surprised eyes never leave mine.
“And you,” I say, spinning to Chance. “She cared about you,” I growl. “And she doesn’t lie. She walked back in here because she’s better than you…and me.” I tug at my jersey and let it pop. “How does it feel to know you turned your back on a girl like her? Wake up, Chance.”
he's lost his pretend cool about Ava. finally!!!
I’m losing it, but I can’t seem to stop myself from caring. I’ve kept this anger and resentment bottled up for months, thinking I had control of it, but since she came back…fuck.
“I mean it. Say her name again and I’ll fucking hurt you.”
😍
His scarred face. His deep, stormy eyes. Something twisted and dark that resides in me yearns for him.
He misunderstands. I’m not sad for what I just did. I’m sad because he’s out of my reach.
“Tell me something, how could you tell me I love you one minute then leave me at that party the next? A brave person would have believed me. Cowards pussy out, Chance. You quit me like I was trash. Even now, I can’t believe I let you get so close to my heart…” I bite my lip, shaken by the torrent of words that have come out of me. I did let him close. God. I let myself be vulnerable for him.
😢
One of her soft smiles graces her face, and I inhale at the effect it has on my insides.
“Oh? Who are you banging on the regular this school year, then?” “No one.” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Truly?” I pick at my burger. Fucking tomatoes. “Yep.” “But why? You’re…you, and everyone wants to be a bleacher girl—or so I’ve heard.” I push my food away. “Saving myself.” “For marriage? Waiting till you’re a middle-aged has-been who peaked in high school?” She chuckles. “No.” “Ah, I get it. Some lucky girl under the bleachers at the first game of senior year. Sweet. Good plan. Typical top Shark behavior. Anticipation…then wham bam, thank you ma’am! Drawing it out.” A slow blush crawls up from
...more
“Dang it. There’s only one chair.” Her arms cross. “Wanna sit in my lap?” I say the words, but I don’t mean them. It’s a joke. Right?
ohoho it's not a joke tho
“You’ve always fascinated me, okay? Since day one, since the moment you waltzed through those doors with your long blonde hair and eyes full of all that hope. Everyone else comes here and they already have everything, but you had nothing—nothing except your power. You barely looked at any of us, especially me, and I knew then you were untouchable, knew you deserved better than any guy at Camden.” He pauses. “Then Chance…you gave him a shot.”
“You walked in Monday with all your hair cut off and a different color and, fuck, I was sad.” My heart thuds. “Really?” “Mmmm. When I sat behind you in class, I used to touch it with my pencil, and you never even noticed. You smell like vanilla, do you know that?” I’m afraid to say anything, to stop him. “Every day I’d get a little braver and barely touch my pencil to your shoulder, your arm. I was afraid to want you, then hurt you—”
“I know how it feels to walk into a room and feel as if no one really knows you. So do you.”
“Truth or dare, Cold and Evil. You pick, and you better choose the right one, damn you.” “Dare.” “Kiss me.” I run my finger over that slice through his upper lip.
“I don’t kiss on the mouth, but you’re looking at me like…like…”
“Do you want this fucked-up mouth on you, Tulip?”
“Am I the first girl you’ve kissed in a long time, like really kissed?” He nods. “But that isn’t why I’m scared. I’ve always wanted to kiss you, Tulip.”
“Babe, as much as I like seeing you in booty shorts, you need to change.
ahhhh he called her babe 😍
He walks over to me slowly, puts a finger to my lips. “Don’t be jumpy. I won’t let anyone hurt you. We got this, babe.” My heart flies. Holy shit, he’s touched my lips! I feel a sudden rush of heat, and I must be crazy because my mouth opens and I nip at his finger. “Don’t call me babe, Shark. I’m the least babe girl there is in the whole world.” And Chance called me that. He lowers his hand slowly. “Don’t call me Shark and we have a deal.” “Fine.” “I’m not giving up Tulip. I like it very much.” “Didn’t say you had to.” His gaze lands on my mouth. “Good.”
kinikilig ako shet
I slide my tongue over his parted lips and he gasps, and I don’t think I will ever get tired of the little truth that he kisses me, kisses me, when he doesn’t anyone else.
“Scars serve as medals of honor, and the strongest hearts have the most. I like your scars. Share them with me.”
“Are you going to come too soon?” I tease. He huffs, slides back out, and enters me again, swiveling his hips, getting a new angle that makes me shiver. “No. I’m going to fuck you till you see stars, Tulip.” “Always wanted to see the universe up close.”
“I want to know everything about you. What you eat, except for tomatoes, God, I hate those, what you dream about, what songs you listen to, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, how you feel when I fuck you. I want you breathing for me. I want you begging me for more of this. I want you kissing me, just me. I want you, Tulip, you, you, you, you…”
“I was with Ava. I’m with her,” I told him finally. Damn, it felt good to get it off my chest, to finally tell him I want her, I want her next to me, I want her so fucking bad that no one even matters—
I study him. “I’m with Ava.” He pauses, and a long sigh comes from him. “With her?” “She’s mine.”
Give me strength. Please, God, I don’t know if you’re real or if you’re listening, but this is my brother and he’s messed up, and he’s all I have, and…and I don’t know the right things to say and if I lose him—
🥹 oh Knox 💔
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I say quietly. “I’m going to be awesome someday.”
yes, girl! you will
In the end, I’m the only one looking out for me, and I’ve known this for a long time. Most of the time I can shove all that down and pretend it doesn’t hurt to be left behind by the people who are supposed to love you. But right now, my chest aches, and I can’t think straight with all this information.
💔
“I love you,” he says, his gray eyes clinging to mine. “Can’t you see that?”
“I came back for vengeance, to show all of you that nothing in this goddamn world will ever hold me back from finding out who hurt me. I’m Ava Tulip Harris and no one hurts me, but this place, this place, I had to come back and show you all that I’m worth more than what someone did to me in the woods.” I close my eyes. “And now I know who he is.”
💔😭
“I forgive you, Chance.” I squeeze his hand. His eyes glisten as they come back to me. “Shit. Thank you.” Turning, I lean in closer. “Go and be sweet and especially kind to the next girl you love.” I huff out a laugh. “Even if it’s Brooklyn.” “Ava, fuck, I don’t even know what to say…” He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight, and we just do that for a long time.
i'm crying 😭 because this feels like goodbye
I rest my head on his shoulder for a second. God, he smells like the ocean and the sun. I’m going to miss him. I’m going to cry for months. I’m going to weep and weep and weep—
i knew it! 😭
Knox has grown stiff as he stands behind me, and now he moves closer, his hands on my shoulders, his chest against my back. I feel him dip his head into my hair. “Don’t do it, Tulip. Don’t leave me. Don’t—” His voice catches and he turns me around, his eyes gleaming. “Stay with me. I’m giving you my heart. I’m giving you everything.”
He clutches my hips. “Shhh, I don’t accept this, you hear me? You’re just upset, and I can’t even imagine how emotional you must feel with everything hitting you like this.” He sucks in air. “Don’t fuck me up, please. You can’t go because I won’t get over you. I won’t ever find someone like you. I won’t ever kiss a girl like you. I love you.” He sighs. “Fuck, don’t you love me? I think you do, but you never said, and I’m standing here and you’re packing up your shit and leaving me—”
Just, someday in the future, find me. Just find me and come up to me and tell me you still love me and want me and can’t live without me in your arms—”
😭
“Hi. I’m Ava, sometimes Tulip if you know me well. I apologize for the book. I hope it’s okay.”
