Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Everyday

by Jay Shetty

When you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life.”

Already I was being taught the most important lesson: to focus on the root of things, not the leaf of the tree or symptoms of the problem.

Just like what was in "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

Our identity is wrapped up in what others think of us—or, more accurately, what we think others think of us.

When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on.

I didn’t shut out the people who loved me—I cared about them and didn’t want them to worry—but neither did I let their definitions of success and happiness dictate my choices.

“Your identity is a mirror covered with dust. When you first look in the mirror, the truth of who you are and what you value is obscured. Clearing it may not be pleasant, but only when that dust is gone can you see your true reflection.”

If you know your values, you have directions that point you toward the people and actions and habits that are best for you.

When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.

First, on a daily basis I recommend you sit down to reflect on how the day went and what emotions you’re feeling. Second, once a month you can approximate the change that I found at the ashram by going someplace you’ve never been before to explore yourself in a different environment. This can be anything from visiting a park or library you’ve never been to before to taking a trip. Finally, get involved in something that’s meaningful to you—a hobby, a charity, a political cause.

TRY THIS: AUDIT YOUR TIME

Good thing to try

Researchers estimate that, on average, each of us will spend more than eleven years of our lives looking at TV and social media!

Omg!!

there are always more ways to be pulled up than to be pulled down.

If these choices work out well for us, then our values are in alignment with our actions. But when things don’t work out, it’s worth revisiting what drove the decision you made.

Every time you move homes or take a different job or embark on a new relationship, you have a golden opportunity to reinvent yourself.

It feels good to be around people who are good for us; it doesn’t feel good to be around people who don’t support us or bring out our bad habits.

When we criticize others, we can’t help but notice the bad in ourselves. But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves too.

We’re wired to conform. Your brain would rather not deal with conflict and debate. It would much prefer to lounge in the comfort of like-mindedness.

that long-term stress, like that generated by complaining, actually shrinks your hippocampus—that’s the region of your brain that affects reasoning and memory. Cortisol, the same stress hormone that takes a toll on the hippocampus, also impairs your immune system (and has loads of other harmful effects).

“There is no commandment that says we have to be upset by the way other people treat us. The reason we are upset is because we have an emotional program that says, ‘If someone is nasty to me, I cannot be happy or feel good about myself.’…

“If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”

The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Petty, negative thoughts and words are like mosquitos: Even the smallest ones can rob us of our peace.

Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.

While thoughtlessly venting complaints makes your day worse, it’s been shown that writing in a journal about upsetting events, giving attention to your thoughts and emotions, can foster growth and healing, not only mentally, but also physically.

Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others.

Have more of this mindset

TRY THIS: REVERSE ENVY

Good thing to do

Transformational forgiveness is linked to a slew of health improvements including: fewer medications taken, better sleep quality, and reduced somatic symptoms including back pain, headache, nausea, and fatigue.

Dyer once wrote, when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. When you squeeze someone full of pain, pain comes out. Instead of absorbing it or giving it back, if you forgive, you help diffuse the pain.

the reason we’re hurting over our past is because we’ve made progress. We did the best we could then, but we can do better now.

The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself.

Our brains are really good at keeping us from entering uncomfortable spaces. But by repeating a question rather than rephrasing it, we essentially corner our brain.

fearing that our parents will die is a hurtful fear because we can’t change the truth of the matter. We transform hurtful fears into useful fears by focusing on what we can control. We can’t stop our parents from dying, but we use the fear to remind us to spend more time with them.

When we acknowledge that all of our blessings are like a fancy rental car or a beautiful Airbnb, we are free to enjoy them without living in constant fear of losing them. We are all the lucky vacationers enjoying our stay in Hotel Earth.

If we don’t learn from the signal that alerts us to a problem, we’ll end up learning from the results of the problem itself, which is far less desirable.

“What you run from only stays with you longer,”

Most people are accustomed to looking for answers. Monks focus on questions.

“Everything you do in the day from washing to eating breakfast, having meetings, driving to work… watching television or deciding instead to read… everything you do is your spiritual life. It is only a matter of how consciously you do these ordinary things…”

If the changes you make are internal, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll be a better person. If your relationship doesn’t improve, you’ll still be the better for it.

Once you know the why behind the want, consider the work behind the want.

The focus is on the process, not the outcome.

if you lead with intention, then you open up the options for how to reach your goal.

There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with cloudy or multifaceted intentions. We just need to remember that the less pure they are, the less likely they are to make us happy, even if they make us successful. When people gain what they want but aren’t happy at all, it’s because they did it with the wrong intention.

Modern science backs up the effectiveness of prānāyāma for myriad effects including improving cardiovascular health, lowering overall stress, and even improving academic test performance.

I love this!

When you align with your breath, you learn to align with yourself through every emotion—calming, centering, and de-stressing yourself.

We undertook such a breadth of activities that, although we didn’t indulge our particular passions, we could observe and reflect on where they lay. We could experiment with new skills, study them, see how improving them made us feel. What did we like? What felt natural and fulfilling? Why?

When your natural talents and passions (your varna) connect with what the universe needs (seva) and become your purpose, you are living in your dharma.

In school, if you get three As and a D, all the adults around you are focused on that D. Our grades in school, scores on standardized tests, performance reviews, even our self-improvement efforts—all highlight our insufficiencies and urge us to improve them. But what happens if we think of those weaknesses not as our failures but as someone else’s dharma?

Second, a bad grade in school doesn’t mean you get to ditch the subject altogether. We have to be careful not to confuse inexperience with weakness. Some of us live outside our dharma because we haven’t figured out what it is. It is important to experiment broadly before we reject options, and much of this experimentation is done in school and elsewhere when we’re young.