Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Everyday

by Jay Shetty

Guides

Me

TRY THIS: KEEP AN ACTIVITY JOURNAL

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Going against your dharma is a bit like roller skating. You feel off-balance, slightly out of control, and exhausted afterward.

If others don’t think you’re effective, then your passion is a hobby, which can add richness to your life. This doesn’t mean every activity outside your dharma is a waste of time. For all of us there are activities in life that are competence-building and activities that are character-building. When I was first asked to give talks, I built competence in my dharma. But when I was asked to take out the trash, it built my character. To build your competence without regard for character is narcissistic, and to build character without working on skills is devoid of impact. We need to work on both in order to serve our souls and a higher purpose.

I love this description

The point of waking up early wasn’t to torture us—it was to start the day off with peace and tranquility.

Starting our days so simply was like a mental shower. It cleansed us of the challenges of the previous day, giving us the space and energy to transform greed into generosity, anger into compassion, loss into love. Finally, it gave us resolve, a sense of purpose to carry out into the day.

tells his athletes to limit the number of decisions they have to make because each decision is an opportunity to stray from their path.

The emotion you fall asleep with at night is most likely the emotion you’ll wake up with in the morning.

Spotting something new every day on our familiar walk was a reminder to keep our focus on that walk, to see the freshness in each “routine,” to be aware. Seeing something is not the same as noticing it.

By searching for the new, you are reminding your brain to pay attention and rewiring it to recognize that there’s something to learn in everything.

To walk down the same old path and find a new stone is to open your mind.

Your only opportunity to succeed is in that moment.

The more your personal spaces are devoted to single, clear purposes, the better they will serve you, not just in the fulfillment of your dharma but in your mood and productivity.

Doing something at the same time every day helps us remember to do it, commit to it, and do it with increasing skill and facility.

When we do something at the same time every day, that time keeps that memory for us.

When you want to incorporate a new habit into your routine, like meditating or reading, don’t make it more difficult by trying to do it whenever you have a free moment. Slot it into the same time every day. Even better, link the new practice to something that’s already a habit.

Location has energy; time has memory. If you do something at the same time every day, it becomes easier and natural. If you do something in the same space every day, it becomes easier and natural.

If something is important, it deserves to be experienced deeply. And everything is important.

As it turns out, periods of deep focus are also good for your brain. When we switch tasks compulsively (like the multitaskers who showed poor memory and focus in the Stanford study), it erodes our ability to focus. We overstimulate the dopamine (reward) channel. That’s also the addiction pathway, so we are compelled to stimulate it more and more to get the same feel-good hit, and that leads to more and more distraction. But ultimately, ironically, the feel-good of dopamine bums us out—too much dopamine can keep our bodies from making and processing serotonin, the contentment chemical.

Oh wow!

senior monk once told me an old Cherokee story about these dilemmas which all of us agonize over: “An elder tells his grandson, ‘Every choice in life is a battle between two wolves inside us. One represents anger, envy, greed, fear, lies, insecurity, and ego. The other represents peace, love, compassion, kindness, humility, and positivity. They are competing for supremacy.’ “ ‘Which wolf wins?’ the grandson asks. ‘The one you feed,’ the elder replies.” “But how do we feed them?” I asked my teacher. The monk said, “By what we read and hear. By who we spend time with. By what we do with our time. By where we focus our energy and attention.”

I love this

Monks calm the senses in order to calm the mind.

Don’t tease your own senses. Don’t set yourself up to fail. A monk doesn’t spend time in a strip club. We want to minimize the mind’s reactive tendencies, and the easiest way to do that is for the intellect to proactively steer the senses away from stimuli that could make the mind react in ways that are hard to control.

The researchers concluded that talking to yourself not only boosts your memory, it also helps you focus. Psychologist Linda Sapadin adds that talking to yourself “helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you’re contemplating.”

Treat yourself with the same love and respect you want to show to others.

“Detachment is not that you own nothing, but that nothing should own you.”

Realizing that I turn to sugar to increase my energy and improve my mood, I look for other, healthier activities that have a similar effect.

To contemplate the difference between yourself and your persona, think about the choices you make when you’re alone, when there’s nobody to judge you and nobody you’re trying to impress. Only you know whether you choose to meditate or watch Netflix, to take a nap or go for a run, to wear sweatpants or designer threads. Only you know whether you eat a salad or a column of Girl Scout cookies. Reflect on the you who emerges when nobody else is around, no one to impress, no one with something to offer you. That is a glimpse into who you truly are. As the aphorism goes, “You are who you are when no one is watching.”

Good to remember

The two things to remember are the bad we’ve done to others and the good others have done for us.

The two things that we were told to forget are the good we’ve done for others and the bad others have done to us.

So often we don’t take chances because we fear failure, and that often boils down to a fear of our egos getting hurt.

When you start your day with gratitude, you’ll be open to opportunities, not obstacles. You’ll be drawn to creativity, not complaint. You will find fresh ways to grow, rather than succumbing to negative thoughts that only shrink your options.

Gratitude journaling reduced intrusive thoughts and helped participants sleep better.

Ive noticed this as well

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

This is true in all relationships. Nobody wants to sit with you at dinner while you’re on the phone. This is where we confuse time and energy. You can spend a whole hour with someone, but only give them ten minutes of energy. I’m not able to spend much time with my family, but when I’m with them I’m 100 percent there. I’d rather spend two hours with them, focused and engaged, than give them partial, distracted energy for a whole weekend.

YES

I myself love gifts and extravagant demonstrations of love, and for a while I cluelessly continued to shower Radhi with grand gestures. I got it completely wrong. She wasn’t impressed by any of that. She’s not very fancy. Even after my years in the ashram, I could still be swayed by external influences or my own preferences rather than careful observation of what she liked, but after my initial missteps, I was aware enough to figure it out, and, thank God, she married me.

Similar eith me and tommie

The problematic people who emerge reflect your unresolved issues, and they will keep reappearing until you learn the lesson you need to learn.

Love is kept alive by creating more new memories—by continuing to learn and grow together. Fresh experiences bring excitement into your life and build a stronger bond.

We seek to leave a place cleaner than we found it, people happier than we found them, the world better than we found it.

We are nature, and if we look at and observe nature carefully, nature is always serving. The sun provides heat and light. Trees give oxygen and shade. Water quenches our thirst.

Studies show that when we pursue “compassionate goals”—those aimed at helping others or otherwise helping to make the world a better place—we’re less likely to have symptoms of anxiety and depression than when we focus on improving or protecting our own status or reputation. The act of giving to others activates the pleasure center of our brain. It’s win-win-win. This may be why those who help others tend to live longer, be healthier, and have a better overall sense of well-being.

Meditation is a signal or a mirror. If you meditate and can’t focus, you’ll see that you’re living a distracted life and need to feel order, balance, and simplicity. If you can’t sit with your thoughts for fifteen minutes, it’s a clear indicator of the work to be done.