The Third Best Thing (Fulton U, #3)

by Maya Hughes

My mind wandered to the curly-haired brunette across the street. I flipped on my side and pulled the shade open, even though the morning sun would blind me and despite the fact that it made me feel like a stalker. Jules had her shade down. Did it feel weird for her to be sleeping in a bed alone after the two nights beside me? Was she tossing and turning or sleeping soundly with one of her legs thrown over a pillow, wishing it was me just as much as I did? Get a grip, man. And this was why I never stayed over with anyone I slept with. These tender feelings shot to the surface way too quickly in general, and especially with someone like Jules. And she’d made her stance on what exactly we were abundantly clear. I was a great stand-in. Someone fun to hang with, but not anyone she was interested in for more than that. Our class together was in two days; forty-three hours until the season opener, and with the pressure in my life mounting, the disappointments stacking up one after another, I kept staring out my window at the window I’d seen a thousand times before. Now I wanted to see into and be on the other side of it. Yeah, no psycho stalkers here. Suddenly, being friends with Jules...

want to make things weird for her. Tomorrow...

“Is that Jules?” He changed the subject so quickly my head snapped up. Also because of the name in question. “Where?” I looked around for her horn-rimmed sweetness. “Right, there. Hiding behind the shelves at the end of the row.” I ducked down and spotted her trying to look inconspicuous and at a vantage point where she absolutely had to have seen us. “We can see you, Frenchie.” She shot straight up, banged her head on the shelf, and her basket tumbled to the ground. Down on all fours, she scrambled to pick up all her stuff and rubbed her head. I bridged the space between us and bent down, grabbing some of the books that had spilled out all over the floor. “Berk, what are you doing here?” She said it like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “Waterskiing. How’s your head?” I curled my fingers at my side to resist the urge to rub her sore spot. She blew a strand of hair out of her face and rubbed the side of her head. “Damn shelves, jumping out of nowhere.” Shifting the basket, she swung it back up into her arms. “They’ve been known to do that. Hit and runs left and right in this place.” Her wince turned into a smile and she stuck her tongue out at me. And I shoved my book-laden

basket in front of me as thoughts of what her tongue would feel and taste like on mine filled my head.

An irrational jolt of jealousy zinged through me. I tackled it to the ground. She’s not a freaking bone and I’m not a rabid dog. She can laugh at whatever she wants. I love the sound of her laugh.

“There’s always room for you, Jules. Of course we all want you there.” Her smile brightened. With pointed eye directions from me, Keyton finally took the damn hint.

I might just need to make a pit stop at a certain bakery later today. And it was somewhere she couldn’t run away from me.

“He’s my friend.”

“Not from the way he’s checking out your ass, he isn’t.” She lifted an eyebrow with a wide smile.

A little flushed and with trembling hands, I helped Avery through the video as Max shouted out comments that were rolling in online. “This is live.” I nearly dropped the entire bowl of melted chocolate. “Who’s that beside Avery? She’s adorable,” Max threw out. And now my face was probably glowing red like a stoplight in a snowstorm. “They’re right.” That comment came from much closer. “Now the comments are asking who the deep-voiced hottie is.” Berk waved off his chance to appear on screen. My ears were on fire. My arms were out. A bead of sweat rolled down my back, but the world was still spinning. I was conquering my fears, and so far, so good. I looked up from the dough Avery was rolling out and caught Berk’s eye.

His thumbs up melted my heart. What other fear might I be strong enough to face head on? One that looked and smelled and tasted like Berkley Vaughn?

“It’s harder for them than it is for us.” He lifted his chin toward them as the overhead lights shut off. “How?” “They’re the ones left behind while we’re traveling all over the place. And they’re always going to be the wives of professional athletes. That comes with a lot of catty bullshit we’d never even think of. The guy fans will shout at you on the street about a shitty play or come up and drunkenly hug you. The female fans get the claws out when it comes to them. Lie about you to try and break you up as though you’d hop into bed with them if you were single. You’ve got to protect them from that as much as you can, but they’ve also got to be able to ignore what they can and withstand the rest. It’s not easy.” He walked off with open arms and pulled Avery into a big bear hug. That gave me pause. I’d cut my arm off before I’d do anything to hurt Jules. She was one of the most genuinely sweet, kindest people I’d ever met.

And I didn’t want anyone saying or doing anything to hurt her.

“It’s okay.” I sounded like Coach had just made me run ten laps. My heart rate was kicked back into higher gear than when confronting Johanssen. “Did you bring me something?” I nodded toward the box in her hands. I waved her through security and stepped down one of the hallways off the tunnel, keeping an ear out for the Coach shouting my name for not being inside the locker room for my reaming with along with everyone else. She cringed. “I might’ve jumped the gun with these.” I lifted the box lid with one finger. With a letter on each cupcake, the word “Congrats” was spelled out. Swiping my finger across the top of one, I scooped up a dollop of the rich chocolate frosting and stuck it in my mouth. Heaven on earth. The only thing that could possibly taste better than this frosting would be Jules’ lips. Dropping the lid, I stared back at her. “It was you. You jinxed us.” “What?” Her eyes widened and her lips parted as she shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean to.” I couldn’t even string out the teasing with how miserable she sounded. “It was a joke, Frenchie.” A ripple of hesitation between us. I pulled a bit of lint off her coat. The perfect cover for letting my fingers skim across her neck. “Thanks for thinking we’d pull out the win.” I took the box from her hand, not letting her use it as a buffer between us. My day was shitty,

but there was one balm to make me forget I’d even played today. “Next time I’ll write a more generic message.” She kept her eyes trained on the number eleven on the front of my jersey. “Like, ‘Interesting Game’ or ‘Great Uniform’.” “You plan on coming to my next game.” There were light freckles across the bridge of her nose. The ones I’d first seen in the greenhouse and kept discovering new ones. Tiny little footprints across the tops of her cheeks. I wanted to know everything else about her I hadn’t seen yet. What else was there to discover about Jules? I wanted to write the encyclopedia. “If a certain player can get my ticket again, I’d love to.” She tilted her head and her gaze bounced up and away again. I didn’t want that. I wanted her gaze on me. Her thoughts on me. Her body screaming out for me as much as mine yearned for hers. “That can be arranged, especially if you keep promising me after-game treats. Consolation or celebration, I’m up for them anytime.” Her laugh came out as a tight stutter. “That could be interpreted as a little dirty.” I’d hire a damn skywriter if that’s what it took. “If it still needs interpretation, maybe I should be a bit clearer.” I ran my finger under her chin. Her gaze lifted away from the box to meet mine. “Clearer?” “Much.” I set the box on the floor—for once food was the last thing I was thinking about, but that didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate all her time and effort. I’d watched her in the kitchen enough times to know how much attent...

My adrenaline pumped in my veins, a thumping throbbing that wasn’t going away now that we were off the field. I wasn’t going to play the game we were playing anymore, not without going for the win. I dropped my pads and wrapped my arm around her back, sinking one hand into her hair, letting my fingers wind around her silky, inky curls. A small gasp shot from her lips and I couldn’t hold back my smile. I was filled with the feeling that made you forget everything else and want to bottle up that single moment of pure, unrelenting and unparalleled joy. “Much.” And I wasn’t taking any chances this time. Voices rang out against the concrete around us. Players, coaches, and everyone else in this gridiron circus flowed past us, past our little island in the middle of madness. But I couldn’t hold i...

His lips were soft and unyielding all at once. Fireworks erupted in my head. A colorful, sparking display with a new road lit up with each press of his lips and swipe of his tongue, which was nearing the grand finale. I sank into him like I’d lost all motor functions. He cupped the back of my neck and controlled the kiss. Delving deeper and deeper into my mouth and stealing away every breath like it would be his last. His tongue danced with mine like we had out on the dance floor, only his tongue wasn’t nearly as polite. A raging heat burned in my stomach and that traveled lower, creating a throbbing ache between my legs. I squeezed my thighs together and moaned. The sound escaped the seal of our lips. If anything, it spurred him on. His hand tightened against the small of my back, pressing me against him. I was sandwiched between him and the cool concrete. “Your lips make me forget about everything else. They make me forget about losing, about the hundred people in the hallway beside us, about anything not centered on this mouth. How’d you get so fucking sweet, Jules?”

I didn’t get a chance to respond. Not that I wanted one. He was sweaty. He smelled like intensity and determination all rolled up into one, and I wanted to climb him like a tree. The whole stadium could’ve collapsed around us and I wouldn’t have wanted to stop. His lips were enough of a balm to heal anything. This was unlike any kiss I’d experienced before. It was all-consuming, heated and hungry. Like he was hungry for me and couldn’t get enough of me, not like he was going through the motions or giving me a perfunctory peck to pave the way to the main event. He was kissing me like this was the main event and I was the center of his world. Another kiss accompanied by a full body flush and tingling toes. My head swam and I clenched his jersey even tighter in my fists, pulling him even closer, if that were possible. A sharp and throaty cough broke through our protective bubble. Followed up by another. We broke apart, panting, staring at each other shell shocked, and turned our heads toward the end of the hallway at the same time. “Coach is ready to rip us all a new asshole. You won’t want to miss it.” Keyton stood at the end of the hallway. “Coming.” Berk picked up the box of cupcakes and put it in my hands. “Take these, I’ll want to have some after Coach is finished with Ass Reaming 2020. Wait out here and I’ll be back as soon as I can. Can you wait? Maybe twenty minutes?” “Of course.” His smile could’ve lit up the stadium for the rest of the season. With one more quick pe...

with my box of cupcakes, trying to figure out what I’d just gotten myself into. Berk had kissed me. Berkley Vaughn kissed me, Julia Kelland. I was glad his after-game meeting took half an hour. It took me that long to process that I wasn’t hallucinating, that he had actually been there and the lingering taste on my lips wasn’t the early warning sign of a stroke. He burst out of the locker room, and the smile on his face while everyone else looked like they’d had their fingernails pulled out wiped away the last bit of doubt swirling in my head. Get out of there, Jules. That’s no place for y...

“What was the spin move you did right there? Looks like you’ve spent a little time on the pole.” He said it jokingly, the way they all teased each other, but I wanted to tell him, to share another part of myself with him. He bent down to pick up some of the darts off the floor. “I do have experience.” He cocked his head to the side. “You know. With the pole.” His eyes widened. My tongue felt like it was in knots and I was flustered. “With pole dancing. Not with actual stripping or anything. I have a pole in my bedroom; it’s skinnier than this one, but that was what happened with the leap and then with the swing I did right there.” I gestured to the support pole. Berk stayed in his crouch like he’d been frozen solid and then he moved in a blur. He grabbed my hand and tugged me up the stairs, the darts long-forgotten and dropped to the floor. “We’re leaving. Eat without us,” he shouted to everyone standing in the kitchen, portioning out food onto their plates. His legs were a hell of a lot longer than mine, and unlike our jog at Kelland Estate, I could barely keep up. “Berk, where the hell are we going?”

I didn’t even bother to close the door. Charging across the street, I was seconds from throwing Jules over my shoulder. My hard on made it hard to run, but we came to a not-so-gentlemanly agreement to suffer through the sprint for the reward at the end of the tunnel—Jules. I was so pissed we’d gotten that pole removed from my bedroom when we moved into The Brothel last year. Catching random people doing their own strip shows in my room wasn’t exactly the best way to get any studying done—and it also gave the wrong impression about me. Damn, that would’ve been a sight to see—Jules in my bedroom showing off her skills. But this was better. This was so much better. Her house was empty. No one to interrupt. No one to see everything she was going to show me. All those times I’d seen her in her room through the shades and I’d thought it was just her dancing. She was dancing, alright. On a freaking pole. And I wasn’t going to miss this next performance for the world. “Ah, Berk, what are we doing?” She stumbled to keep up, her sneakers slapping on the pavement. I turned to look at her over my shoulder. “You can’t drop the pole dancing bomb after that move

you pulled back there and think I’m not going to want to see.” She tugged against my hold on her hand as we hit the top step of her porch. “You want to see me dance?” “Why the hell do you think I’m seconds away from throwing you over my shoulder?” “I don’t know.” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose in that adorable, I’m-stalling-for-time-way. “Cause you thought it was super out-of-bounds for me to mention it and didn’t want anyone else to hear what I’d said?” She looked down at her shoes and shrugged. “Jules, if you don’t show me all your moves, I might have to use my imagination, and I don’t know if you want me doing that.” She peered up and the corner of her mouth lifted. “Maybe I do.” We rushed inside and didn’t take the standard pit stop of the kitchen. She led the way, keeping my hand in hers as she climbed the steps. Like I was going anywhere. At this point, she’d have to call the cops to get me to leave. Walking up the stairs was crossing a barrier that we’d erected between us. It was crossing an invisible line drawn across all our interactions, and doing it now I couldn’t believe I hadn’t blown through that thing ages ago. Her steps were quiet even on the creaky stairs. We stood in front of her door. She glanced at me over her shoulder and bit her bottom lip. “I’ve only ever danced for one other person.” A blaze of irrational jealousy ripped through me thinking about her dancing for some asshat. “Elle isn’t exactly going to tell me if I suck, though.” ...

But the anticipation of seeing Jules dance made it hard to stand still and keep all the blood from shooting straight to my dick. She let go of my hand and opened her door. The floor-to-ceiling golden pole gleamed in the light from the hallway. “I’ll find some music.” “I’ll find the light switch.” I’d never been in her room before. Scanning the space, I spotted the lamp beside her bed. It would cast less light than the ceiling light and hopefully not put on a full display for anyone out on the street. Maybe I’d let her know I could see her dance from my room. Or maybe I’d keep those private shows to myself. Her head shot up. “We can do this without the light.” “No, Jules, we really can’t. I didn’t come all this way to not see you.” I reached under the lampshade and turned the knob. The double click was the only sound in the room. She jumped when the soft light flipped on. “Music.” Dragging her hand through her hair, she scrolled through her phone and the Bluetooth speaker dinged, announcing it was connected. My skin prickled with the anticipation of watching her. Of her watching me watch her. And letting her know there was nowhere else I’d rather be than here. Holding onto the po...

She sure as hell did. Most girls would start with the porn star hair flips and flash as much skin as possible; that was their prerogative. But Jules freaked out about a dress showing some cleavage. Jules let a curse fly here and there and glanced around like the swear police would come lock her up. Jules baked congrats cupcakes for my game. Jules was here with me when she could be anywhere else. Jules was a secret sexy goddess who had a pole in her bedroom. I couldn’t hold back my smile. How had I ever not seen how brave she was? How indescribably beautiful?

“What the hell was that?”

He chuckled and kissed my back. “I was going to ask you the same thing.” My head buzzed and my body tingled as aftershocks of my orgasm ripped through my body. “It’s not always like that with you?” I braced my hands on his thighs and lifted. His arm tightened around my waist, not letting go. I looked at him over my shoulder. A strange, borderline angry look passed over his face. “No. Is it like that with other guys?” My gaze shot to the floor. “No.” What the hell had that look been? His hold loosened and he ran his hands up and down my sides. The flutter-light touch made me break out in goosebumps. “It’s never been like that, Jules.” The words caressed the back of my neck, still glistening with sweat. I nodded and leaned back against him, savoring his heated skin against mine. The self-consciousness about sitting fully on his lap and not trying to brace my weight on my hands or legs wasn’t there. Berk’s entire body enveloped me and for the first time, I really felt dwarfed by him. After giving myself another five seconds to imprint this moment in my mind, I braced my hands

on his knees and lifted off his lap. I groaned and attempted to walk. I was like a newborn baby deer. He steadied me. “Careful.” The gentle concern in his voice sent a thrill through me that had nothing to do with the ache between my thighs. Now there was the awkward indecision. Did I grab my clothes and put them on? Get under the covers? “How long have you been dancing?” Berk didn’t seem at all fazed by our nakedness. Well, he still had his jeans mostly on. “Since freshman year. I dragged Elle along to the studio and I loved it.” I spotted my robe hanging off my closet door. SpongeBob wasn’t exactly sexy, but I didn’t have a pastel, silky robe to slip on. “I can tell.” His hand circled my wrist as I tried to walk toward my robe. “Teach me something.” A laugh burst free from my lips. “You want to learn?” He shrugged. “Why not? It’s always good to learn new things.”

I’d have never thought Berk was a cuddler—not with the way he’d taken up a permanent spot on the floor at Laura’s engagement party. But I wasn’t going to say no to his strong arms wrapped around me. “We should do this again sometime.” I peered up at him, pressing my lips against his chest, hoping he wouldn’t shatter my fragile hope that he’d want this again too. A slow rumble rolled through his chest. “Oh we’re going to be doing this more than just sometime, Frenchie. I’m setting up a permanent appointment in your calendar. It’ll be sandwiched in right after class and before baking, that way I can watch you bake in nothing but an apron.” After everything we’d just done, my cheeks went red at the dirty picture he’d painted in my mind.

I watched her for way longer than I should’ve. Probably longer than a non-stalker would, but I couldn’t stop myself. The perfect curve of her eyelashes. The small indents on either side of her nose from her glasses. The way her full lips parted as she breathed. I wound a strand of her hair around my finger. She was soft and warm nestled against me. I loved the way my fingers sank into her hips. How I never worried my grip would be too hard or rough. The sheet slid down more over the curve of her breasts with each breath. A hint of her deep pink nipple peeked out, teasing me like her salted caramel chocolate chunk cookies with the hint of espresso.

Her eyelids fluttered and I rested my head against the pillow, trying to pretend I hadn’t been committing every line of her face to memory. A date with Jules. An actual date. That would maybe end with another slow dance under the moonlight. I could only hope an act of god didn’t interrupt this time. We were doing things backward, but I was determined to do this right with her. Show her this wasn’t some bang and run thing. She’d told me before she wanted casual, but I wasn’t a casual guy, no matter what people thought about me. The assumption that football player equaled manwhore wasn’t lost on me. And I didn’t exactly scream responsible guy most of the time, but I wasn’t scared to show her that side of me—okay, maybe I was a little bit. Hell, I hadn’t been with anyone since I started trading letters with TLG, but I couldn’t feel guilty about being with Jules. Last night had been blow-the-back-of-my-head-off amazing. She was an indescribable kind of perfect for me. The kind that made my heart ache that I’d only just found her and was ready to get down on my knees so I didn’t have to wait another day without knowing her beauty. “Are you going to watch me sleep all morning?” She grumbled with a smile and her eyes still closed. “I was just amazed a person could have such crusty eyes after only four hours of sleep.” Her eyes snapped open and she wiped at them with the heels of her hands. I grabbed her wrists to stop her from scraping ninety percent of the skin off her face. “I ...

She finally relented, laughing until tears were in her eyes. “Fine, you’re not a jerkface.” The words came out in pants. “What am I then?” I didn’t let her out of the circle of my arms. “My new favorite audience member.” She stared into my eyes with so much openness and joy it made me want to keep her in bed and show her every single way she was mine. I could stay here for the rest of my life. And I wanted this moment to stretch on for eons to come. The warm, early-morning sun streaked through her slatted blinds, lighting up her hair and making the deep chestnut brown glow. The gentle swell of her curves was pressed against my body. Everything about her made me want to never let her go. She was the kind of woman I’d dreamed of one day being at my side. Beautiful. So warm and caring, and with a hint of a potty mouth. I could imagine coming back from practices or away games to a house filled with smells that made my mouth water—and Jules standing in the kitchen with a body that did the same.

This was a perfect moment, the kind they make slow motion in a movie so you get every excruciating detail of the action. Her beauty was heart-stopping. The kind where you know someone inside and out, and everything about them only takes what you already liked to the next level. She was the kind of girl you didn’t come back from. The kind who’d always have a place in your heart to keep you warm on those nights alone long after she’d kicked you to the curb because she deserved better than you. But I was here now, and I’d keep the fires going as long as I could.

“Was that you coming back this morning after an early run or did you stay out all night?” He went back to sketching. “When you moved in, did that start up a curfew I didn’t know about?” “Nope, just wondering how long we’ll need to wait before we can give you crap about charging across the street with Jules last night, and maybe score some extra cookies. Those peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies were so damn good I had an out-of-body experience. You two have been doing this little dance for a long time. Plus, I won the bet.” He grinned, pumping one arm over his head triumphantly. “You made a bet on whether or not I’d hook up with Jules?” “LJ swore you’d crack at the end of last semester. Marisa said it would be the first week of classes.” He looked up from his drawing. “I said you’d hold back as long as possible. Seeing you blazing out of here dragging Jules behind you like you were a second from banging her on the living room floor, I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did.” “It’s official, you all freaking suck.”

Were they all over at the Brothel, waiting to laugh at me when I finally got home? Were they taking bets as to what time I’d show up, how long I’d wait before realizing it was all a joke? I squeezed my eyes shut and held my fist up to my forehead. Don’t do it, Jules. Don’t go there. He’s not blowing you off. He didn’t sleep with you only to walk away laughing this morning. That’s not what’s happening. Just stop.

ME: Hey, I’m here at T-Sweets. But it’s a while after we were supposed to meet. I’m heading home. I hope you’re okay. After ten minutes of no response, I left and went home, kicking rocks like Charlie Brown the whole way. What did I do when there were too many feelings? I pulled out my trusty recipe cards and got to work. Maybe he’d been mangled in a

car wreck. Maybe he was knee deep in co-eds. Maybe he’d been abducted by aliens. Maybe I was a freaking idiot. At nearly one am my phone vibrated on the counter. My head snapped up from the kitchen table and I peeled a cupcake wrapper off the side of my face. Taking a deep breath, I got up and checked the message. BERK: I’m so fucking sorry. I had to do a thing and it went way later than I expected and I didn’t have a charger. I’ll make it up to you for sure. BERK: Some next-level making it up to you. BERK: Shit, you’re probably asleep. Sorry if I woke you. BERK: Talk tomorrow. BERK: I miss you. I smiled at the small glowing screen and climbed back into bed with my phone tucked under my pillow. Good thing I hadn’t let my imagination run wild. I hadn’t gone into a panic spiral. Well, staring at my bedroom ceiling at one am wasn’t exactly cool as a cucumber. But I drifted off to sleep, cuddled up against my pillow that still smelled like him.

Only it wasn’t Berk in his bed. It was a girl. A petite redhead with freckles, a serious case of bedhead, and no pants on. And she was wearing Berk’s t-shirt. The faded FU one that was fraying around the bottom of the sleeve. “Who are you?” I asked even though I didn’t want to know the answer. I didn’t want to know

the name of the girl who’d just punched a hole right through the little fantasy I’d been dreaming up in my head. “I’m Alexis. Are you lost?” The tunnel vision started, like I’d been punted down the deepest well on campus. ‘Alexis’ came out slowed down, like someone was playing the entire world at half speed. This was Alexis. This was the girl I’d baked a cake for. The girl all the guys said was bad news, but Berk kept talking to. All through our letters, after the engagement party and after two nights ago he was still not only talking to Alexis—but apparently banging her too. He’d stood me up last night to bang his ex—or current—girlfriend. I couldn’t breathe. Air stalled in my lungs like my head was being held underwater and I was clawing for the surface. The burn was sharp and slamming at my ribs. A small wheeze made it past my lips. She slipped out of bed with her arms crossed over her chest. She was small. Skinny with long legs that made her appear statuesque even at her height. And she looked totally pissed off that I was there. “Who are you?” My chest was so tight every attempt to breathe created a new crack. If I moved too quickly I was going to shatter. I needed to get out of there before my humiliation was complete. “I’m no one.” I spun around and rushed back down the hallway. The bathroom door opened as my foot hit the top step. I wouldn’t break down. Not here. I’d save that for once I was on the other side of the front door. A complete collapse of the brave Jule...

My fingers wrapped around the banister and I was frozen like someone had laid down an entire tube of Crazy Glue. It was B...

“Jules, what are you doing here so early?” He didn’t sound angry or defensive. More like pleasantly surprised. His arms wrapped around me and he kissed the back of my neck. This didn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t he be trying to rush me away, or coming up with excuses? “I baked you some coffee cake muffins.” I lifted the container, still not turning around. “You’re the best, you know that?” He reached over my shoulder and took the container from my hand and laced his fingers through mine. “Since you’re here, there’s someone I want you to meet.” He tugged on my hand, freeing me from my self-imposed staircase prison. On numb legs, I let him lead me back toward his room. He pushed on his bedroom door and I half expected what I’d seen inside to be a figment of my imagination. Maybe I’d made it all up because I was incapable of letting myself be happy. Maybe there wasn’t a half-naked girl in his bed. The door opened fully and there she was looking pissed with her phone in her hand. Berk grinned. “Alexis, this is Jules.”

Her gaze flicked to us standing in the doorway like we were an inconvenience to her already shitty morning. “Jules, this is Alexis.” He held out his hand, pointing at the girl on her phone. “My sister.” The words went into my head, but somehow they got scrambled and didn’t make a bit of sense. “Your sister?” He nodded and flashed a sleepy smile, rubbing his eye. “Alexis is your sister?” I pointed at her. The depth of her frown increased and she glared at me. “Yeah, she got stranded last night and I had to go pick her up.” “Alexis is your sister.” He turned and looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched together. “I know we don’t look alike.” His sigh was a long-suffering one, like he’d had to have this same conversation more than once, the same as me with Laura. “But she’s my sister.” “On a good day,” Alexis grumbled from the bed. “That’s not something you need to throw in every time I say it, Alexis.” He said her name pointedly, like he’d had to tell her a million times to stop touching his stuff or stay on her side of the car. “And will you put some pants on? What if the guys wake up and see you?” Berk rummaged through his drawers. “I don’t know, a couple of them are pretty hot. Especially the new one. What’s his name again?” “You’re not dating any of my roommates.” He flung a pair of sweatpants at her, hitting her in the face. “Who said anything about dating?” She grinned. “Not cool. Don’t even go there. Pants.”

She was the most beautiful thing in the world to me and it scared me more than losing the next game or not making the draft. Because I’d never had anything as beautiful as her in my life. And that made it so much harder. It would end; it always did. She’d see something in me that showed

her I was a fucked-up kid who didn’t know how to do this adult thing, and she’d find a guy who did and said all the right things all the time and could give her exactly what she needed.

But watching Jules run around in an adorable blue and purple knit hat with a white pompom on top made me want to move to a winter wonderland. Her cheeks were bright red. The dark wisps of her hair stuck out from the bottom of her hat as she ran around with her arms out at her sides, getting covered with flakes like the most beautiful statue ever sculpted. “Do you think we’ll get enough to make a snow man?” She opened her mouth, catching flakes on her tongue and laughed. The snow whipped at us from all angles. The flakes clung to her eyelashes under her glasses, and the sight left me breathless. Another piece of my heart mailed to her in that second in a signed, sealed, and delivered envelope.

I could imagine her doing the same thing with two little kids at her side, a boy and a girl that both looked just like her. And that vision was so vivid, so real, that I had to take a step back. The dreams of a kid who’d never had a family jumping way ahead of where we were now. There was so much uncertainty and there always would be. That restlessness never went away. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Not that she ever made me feel like I was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, which made me want to give her the moon and stars. She deserved them. Every single one.

I loved that she called Alexis my sister. There was never a question in her voice or one of the strange looks everyone always gave us, and that made me love Jules even more. That slammed into me hard and I tightened my hold around her waist. I loved her. And it would only be a matter of time before I lost her.

Everyone would know. Everyone would judge. Everyone would be watching me.

Berk sat on my front steps. Once he saw me, he stood up. He knew. Why else would he be here waiting? His gaze was trained on me like he was seeing me with new eyes. I couldn’t face him right now. “Can we talk later?” Like the scaredy cat I was, I scurried up the steps, bypassing him, and shoved my key into the door lock. “Did you write the letters?” “Berk, can we talk about this later?” My heart attempted a speedy exit from my throat. I opened the door. “No, we need to talk about this now.” He wrapped his fingers around my arm, holding me in place. “LJ showed me some post saying you were The Letter Girl.” Which meant he’d most likely seen everything else everyone had said. “Yes, it was me.” Turning slowly like I was walking toward my executioner, I faced him, only meeting his gaze for a split second. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why’d you lie to me?” He raised his voice. “Because I couldn’t open myself up to all this.” People stopped along the street to watch the show. He looked behind him and stepped forward, shielding me and corralling me into the house. The door closed behind us and I was trapped inside with him. “Jules, look at me.” I couldn’t. The tears were back. They prickled at the backs of my eyes and I blinked to try to keep

from dissolving into a puddle. “I think we should back off for a bit.” “Because I found out you’re The Letter Girl?” “You know that’s not why.” I took a deep breath, breathing through my nose even though it burned. “Tell me what’s going on.” I licked my lips. “Things are moving really fast and I think it would be best to chill out for a while.” “You’re breaking up with me.” Hurt radiated from his voice. “I’m barely to a place where I can look at myself in the mirror and not want to wear a snowsuit. I’ve hated myself for so long, and I’ve hated the way I look for so long, and I’m finally coming to a point where I’m okay with being me—most of the time. But what happened today…” I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “What’s happening right now, with people talking about the letters and me and you together as though I’m a circus freak? I’m working hard on loving myself. I know I can get there. But I can’t do it under the searing spotlight at your side. I can’t do it when I know people are constantly looking at you and back at me and wondering why the hell you’re with me.” “Because you’re beautiful and sexy and kind and bake a killer cookie.” He ducked his head to catch my gaze. Squeezing my fingers, I stared at the floor between us. “I want to be strong enough for this, Berk. I do. But I’m not and I can’t force you to spend the rest of however long this lasts reassuring me every three seconds that everyone we pass isn’t thinking the same thing.” “I don’t care what other p...