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This was my freaking body and I loved the shit out of it. And if I kept telling myself that, maybe one day I’d believe it.
How can you lose someone you’ve never met? The Letter Girl had careened into my life like a damn smash and grab pro and wormed her way into my heart before I knew what happened.
“But you throw a few interceptions and I’m going to let them knock you around a bit.”
“Sure, you can let go of Jules. My date.” “Jules?! Her name is Julia,” Chet snapped. “My mistake, I just go with what I call her in bed at night.”
Beside him, I did feel like he was ready to take on the world on my behalf. My very own knight in shining armor even if it was only for two days and even if he was just pretending to be with me. I could pretend with the best of them.
but that’s not to say I didn’t appreciate Jules’ quiet beauty. The kind you found yourself sneaking a glance of when she smiled because it was so completely pure and unworried about being anything other than real.
She was kind and I’d never heard her talk shit about anyone or be anything other than awesome,
Who in the hell knew she was hiding all that under those clothes? I was five seconds away from going full wolf-whistle-in-a-nightclub cartoon parody over here.
“If there’s anyone who should feel self-conscious, it’s all those other chicks who’ve got absolutely nothing on you in the breast department. KFC is going to burst in here and haul you away.”
“If you’re trying to hide, the glittering, sparkly dress isn’t exactly stealthy. I think that’s why the military went with camo over sequins.”
I held his gaze. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he looked ready to take on whatever had upset me. If I hadn’t already been falling for him, I was a half-step away. No one had ever looked at me like that before.
“No, but I see the way you always want to take care of the people around you, even if it’s at your expense.”
Brushing my teeth to banish the gremlins that had had a party in my mouth last night, I went out at least smelling like I hadn’t been eating bulbs of garlic.
Her glare was adorable as she stepped outside.
In a matter of days, Jules had gone from someone I looked forward to seeing every day, to someone I needed to see. I needed to make her laugh and make sure she was okay. And I wanted her to want that of me too.
“Berk, what are you doing here?” She said it like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “Waterskiing. How’s your head?” I curled my fingers at my side to resist the urge to rub her sore spot.
She blew a strand of hair out of her face and rubbed the side of her head. “Damn shelves, jumping out of nowhere.” Shifting the basket, she swung it back up into her arms. “They’ve been known to do that. Hit and runs left and right in this place.”
“This is live.” I nearly dropped the entire bowl of melted chocolate. “Who’s that beside Avery? She’s adorable,” Max threw out. And now my face was probably glowing red like a stoplight in a snowstorm. “They’re right.” That comment came from much closer. “Now the comments are asking who the deep-voiced hottie is.” Berk waved off his chance to appear on screen.
Everyone loved her, and why shouldn’t they? She was awesome. Under the lights, her skin was glowing and she had that extra pinkness in her cheeks she always got when she was embarrassed. It only made me want to tease her even more to see how much deeper that shade could go.
I nodded. All the things I’d tried to lock down when it came to Jules rushed forward. Standing on the sidelines watching her and being able to go over and lay a kiss on her in front of everyone. Seeing her looking up at me with a smile that was just for me. Feeling her nestled up against me with my arm around her waist so everyone would know that she was my woman and I was her man.
“Thank you, Professor. And I will do. You know how those periods are sometimes. They jump out of nowhere and hit you like bam.” “Do you need to…” The professor eyed the door, clearly afraid that one false move from me and we’d have a re-enactment from The Shining going on.
“In there with Buchanan and the…” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Tampons,” he whispered and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, you mean the heavy-duty, super-absorbent tampons? Sure, you can have one.” I raised my voice. His eyes widened and he stopped mid-backward walk.
There were light freckles across the bridge of her nose. The ones I’d first seen in the greenhouse and kept discovering new ones. Tiny little footprints across the tops of her cheeks. I wanted to know everything else about her I hadn’t seen yet. What else was there to discover about Jules? I wanted to write the encyclopedia.
And I wasn’t taking any chances this time. Voices rang out against the concrete around us. Players, coaches, and everyone else in this gridiron circus flowed past us, past our little island in the middle of madness. But I couldn’t hold it back any longer; like a dam in a torrential rain storm, I was overwhelmed by her. And kissed the shit out of her.
He cupped the back of my neck and controlled the kiss. Delving deeper and deeper into my mouth and stealing away every breath like it would be his last. His tongue danced with mine like we had out on the dance floor, only his tongue wasn’t nearly as polite. A raging heat burned in my stomach and that traveled lower, creating a throbbing ache between my legs.
“Your lips make me forget about everything else. They make me forget about losing, about the hundred people in the hallway beside us, about anything not centered on this mouth. How’d you get so fucking sweet, Jules?”
He was kissing me like this was the main event and I was the center of his world.
“What did we tell you about eating anything she made?” Berk laughed. Keyton pushed open the door at the end of the hall leading out to the parking lot. “It’s cheese and bread! How in the hell can you screw that up?”
That was not what I was expecting in the slightest after he’d kissed me so well I’d forgotten seventh grade algebra.
Charging across the street, I was seconds from throwing Jules over my shoulder. My hard on made it hard to run, but we came to a not-so-gentlemanly agreement to suffer through the sprint for the reward at the end of the tunnel—Jules.
Damn, I needed to touch her. I needed to touch her more than I needed my next breath. I needed to touch her to make sure this wasn’t all a dream and the beautiful sight in front of me didn’t disappear before I could. She was so gorgeous it hurt not to touch her.
Jules was a secret sexy goddess who had a pole in her bedroom. I couldn’t hold back my smile. How had I ever not seen how brave she was? How indescribably beautiful?
She was soft and warm nestled against me. I loved the way my fingers sank into her hips. How I never worried my grip would be too hard or rough. The sheet slid down more over the curve of her breasts with each breath. A hint of her deep pink nipple peeked out, teasing me like her salted caramel chocolate chunk cookies with the hint of espresso.
Everything about her made me want to never let her go. She was the kind of woman I’d dreamed of one day being at my side. Beautiful. So warm and caring, and with a hint of a potty mouth.
Her beauty was heart-stopping. The kind where you know someone inside and out, and everything about them only takes what you already liked to the next level. She was the kind of girl you didn’t come back from. The kind who’d always have a place in your heart to keep you warm on those nights alone long after she’d kicked you to the curb because she deserved better than you. But I was here now, and I’d keep the fires going as long as I could.
The flakes clung to her eyelashes under her glasses, and the sight left me breathless. Another piece of my heart mailed to her in that second in a signed, sealed, and delivered envelope. I could imagine her doing the same thing with two little kids at her side, a boy and a girl that both looked just like her.
Not that she ever made me feel like I was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, which made me want to give her the moon and stars. She deserved them. Every single one.
That slammed into me hard and I tightened my hold around her waist. I loved her. And it would only be a matter of time before I lost her.
“I want to be strong enough for this, Berk. I do. But I’m not and I can’t force you to spend the rest of however long this lasts reassuring me every three seconds that everyone we pass isn’t thinking the same thing.” “I don’t care what other people think.” “I know you don’t, but I’m not there yet.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, Jules. I’m into you. Whether it’s in letter form, cookie form, pole dancing form, sitting in your sweats on the couch watching TV form, or any other way you want to show me what you’re all about, I’m here for it. I’m here for you.”
“One of these days you’ll see yourself like I do.” She turned to me and held my gaze. Her uncertainty and vulnerability simmered just under the shield of her gaze. The one she dropped for me. She swallowed and covered her hand with mine. “I hope one day I can.”
I’d done this because it was the right thing to do, not to win her back or get credit. She deserved it and she should always get all the goodness there was in the world—end of story.
Stitched, healed and smoothed, my heart belonged to her.
She was made for me, and I’d spend the rest of my life giving her every beautiful thing she deserved—starting with my love.
