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“Can I help you?” “Sure, you can let go of Jules. My date.” “Jules?! Her name is Julia,” Chet snapped. “My mistake, I just go with what I call her in bed at night.”
HAHAHAHAHAH
It made that pain even worse. I was part of my mom and all she wanted to do was cut that part of herself out and throw the rest of me away.
He cut me off again at the pass. “Don’t ever let anyone else make you feel like you’re not awesome.”
In a matter of days, Jules had gone from someone I looked forward to seeing every day, to someone I needed to see. I needed to make her laugh and make sure she was okay. And I wanted her to want that of me too.
All the things I’d tried to lock down when it came to Jules rushed forward. Standing on the sidelines watching her and being able to go over and lay a kiss on her in front of everyone. Seeing her looking up at me with a smile that was just for me. Feeling her nestled up against me with my arm around her waist so everyone would know that she was my woman and I was her man.
It would end; it always did. She’d see something in me that showed her I was a fucked-up kid who didn’t know how to do this adult thing, and she’d find a guy who did and said all the right things all the time and could give her exactly what she needed.
I could imagine her doing the same thing with two little kids at her side, a boy and a girl that both looked just like her. And that vision was so vivid, so real, that I had to take a step back.
I was a fucking coward and I’d lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. Better that than have him realize over time just how much better he could do as the prying eyes and judgement wore me down to nothing.
Jules was The Letter Girl. She was the woman I’d fallen in love with through her words and the one I’d slowly discovered my feelings for right across the street.
It wasn’t only the amazing sex—I saw a home with her in our future. The complete picture. There wasn’t anyone more perfect for me than her. And I’d spend as long as I needed to make her believe it was true.
“And you were never the third best thing in my life, Jules. Never. I’d never play a game again, if it meant I could be here with you.”
Every day with her was an adventure in what it felt like to be so loved it was like living in a dream. She was my dream girl, and no matter what, we’d have our dream life filled with all the love we’d been searching for all our lives and could finally share with one another.
