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Life was unpredictable, and just when you thought you had it all figured out, just when you thought winter was over and spring was right around the bend, you got hit with a late frost that killed every bud on the vine.
“I know your husband was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world. I know you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. And I know I should leave right now, before I do something stupid.”
I like seeing you. It gives me butterflies.”
I’m going to spend the rest of the night showing you that it’s true—I think you are the most exquisite woman on the face of the earth, in every way. There is no part of your body, no inch of your skin, that isn’t perfect, because it’s yours.” He took my head in his hands and kissed me, hard but sweet. “And all I want to do is make you mine, even if it’s just for tonight.”
This, I thought to myself, as chills swept across my skin. This is what it’s supposed to feel like. This is what I’ve been missing. This is what I want.
We’re all just stumbling our way through life, hoping to arrive at the right destination. If something makes you feel good on the way, why not do it?”
I saw you working your magic up there. Who could resist you?” She blushed at the compliment. “Stop it. I don’t have any magic.” “I beg to differ.”
“I think I’ve got a crush on my teacher.” Our eyes met, and the small room crackled with electricity. “Then come sit on his lap.”
“I’m surprised this thing isn’t dented. I’ve got a bruise on my back, you know.” “I’m sorry.” Peeking back at me over one shoulder, she asked, “Are you really?” Unable to suppress a grin, I shook my head. “No. But I’ll take it easier on you next time.” Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you dare.”
tilted my head and looked up at the sky, wondering which star was the right one to wish on, the one with the most luck, the most magic, the most power to deliver on its promise. But if my chances of finding it were one in a hundred billion, what hope could I have that Sylvia might one day really be mine?
surprisingly rough and demanding at times. But then he was gentle too. He was exactly what I needed.”
I wanted to spend time with her doing everyday things and making her laugh. I wanted to learn her expressions and smiles and sighs. And as ridiculous and juvenile as it sounded, I wanted to take her somewhere and hold her hand. Buy her dinner. Be the guy who got to put his arm around the back of her chair. Be the guy who made her happy.
“So,” Noah said, tipping up his beer. “How long have you been in love with Sylvia?” I made a sound somewhere between a choke and a laugh. “Uh, since I saw her in that skirt?” Noah nodded and touched his beer bottle to my glass. “Good answer.”
It struck me like a punch in the gut how handsome he was. How sexy. How strong. How good. Something in me ignited.
“Even when I have all the control, I don’t. Every fucking second is a struggle around you.”
and I was with someone now who put value on my pleasure and not just his own.
“I mean, I don’t want to rush you, and I know we’ve been saying we don’t really know what we’re doing, and we don’t want to make this public yet, but . . . I feel something for you, Sylvia. And I don’t want to hide it.”
“I was up all last night thinking about you. I know this isn’t what you planned. I know people might say we’re moving on too fast. A fucking boyfriend is the last thing you need and the last thing I ever thought I’d want to be at this point. But I want more than sneaking around with you. I mean, I want the sex, don’t get me wrong, but I want to take you on real dates too. I want to be good to you.”
“I want to be good to you out loud. I want to help you settle into your new life here—I want to be part of it. I want to take you back to that party and kiss you at midnight.” He kissed my lips. “I want you to be mine for real.”
“Nothing good comes easy.” “I have to make sure the kids are going to be okay with us. They’ve been through so much.” “Absolutely,” he said firmly. “I know they come first.” “And I’m still a little wary of . . . of letting myself fall. It’s not that I don’t trust you,” I went on quickly. “I know what kind of man you are. But it might take time for me to really feel safe turning over my heart. It’s just starting to feel whole again.”
“Your whole heart is worth the wait.”
follow their hearts because that is where true happiness lies. I’ve never said it won’t lead you through some dark woods, but you’ll come out the other side. Give yourself time to find your way, Sylvia. And never stop following your heart—your daughter will learn from you. Remember that.”
“You’re tougher than you know,
I didn’t stop thinking about Henry for one second.
My feelings for him hadn’t changed—I wanted to be with him.
All I could think was, She’s so damn beautiful.
I’m not happy. I miss you.” “I miss you too.”
We spent hours that night on the phone trading stories about our youths—favorite
She sighed. “I should let you go.” Silence. “But I don’t want to.” I wasn’t sure what to say.
“God, Sylvia. It just doesn’t get any easier. I keep waiting and waiting for it to ease up, but . . . I still want you. Maybe even more than before.” “I know. I want you too.”
At the gut feeling, deep in my bones, that I’d fallen in love with Sylvia without even trying.
I’d missed him so much when I was away. I’d struggled with the decision to call him while I was gone—part
He had this way of calming even the worst chaos in my head, of helping me keep things in perspective, of reminding me what really mattered. He knew how to make me laugh too, even at the most difficult times. I always felt understood with Henry. Accepted for who I was, faults and all. I never would have gotten through the last six weeks without his friendship.
I’d fallen in love.
“Because I’m in love with you, Henry.” He closed the distance between us and took me by the shoulders. “It isn’t going to matter where you work, Sylvia. Or where you live. I love you too. And I’ll wait for you. I’ll wait as long as it takes to prove to you that I’m not going anywhere—because you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.” Then his lips were on mine in a hot, commanding kiss that broke down all my defenses. I threw my arms around his neck and felt myself being wrapped in his strong, safe arms and lifted right off the floor. For a full minute, I let myself be swept up in the
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I looked at him, this gorgeous, sexy, strong man so willing to do anything for me, and wondered if it could be possible he was telling the truth. If it was possible he could love me the way he said he did. If it was possible I was worth it. If it was possible he’d stay forever.
Because what I love more than anything is the idea of taking care of people I love, protecting them, providing for them. And I want to be the one that takes care of you, Sylvia. Because you deserve someone who adores you. Who will put you first while you’re busy putting everyone else first.” “Henry,” I croaked, tears dripping from my eyes. He held up one hand. “Let me finish. I know you’re a mother first and foremost, and I’d never get in the way of that. But I love you, and I couldn’t walk away without a fight.” His eyes pierced mine so deeply I felt it in my soul. I wanted so badly to throw
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“Yes, Whitney. I do love him. But I don’t want to.
And every night, I lay awake yearning to be with her and wondering how the hell you got over losing someone who was never yours in the first place.
“Because when I think about her, my heart races. Because when she’s in the room, I can hardly breathe. Because I want to be with her all the time. Because I want to do things for her that make her smile. Because when she’s happy, I’m happy. Because she’s the first person in my head when I wake up, the last person I think about before I fall asleep, and the only person in the world who makes me feel like I’m the person I want to be.”
“I’m not upset. I want you to love her like that.” “You do?”
was wrong to get in the way before, and I’m sorry. So I came here today to make sure you meant what you said about taking care of her, and protecting her.”
“He’s really in love with you. It’s true.”
If you and Henry love each other, you should be together. Keaton and I just talked about it, and we agree.”
Whitney and Keaton wanted me to give Henry another chance. They wanted me to have something of my own.
“No. I changed my mind. I’m not walking away. Fear doesn’t get to win.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. My legs were so weak and rubbery that he practically had to hold me up. “I love you, Sylvia. But more than that, I love us together. I love that you listen to me ramble on about volatile acidity like it’s the most fascinating subject in the world. I love that you don’t care if my shirts have holes. I love hearing you tell stories about growing up here. I love the way you smile at me across a room. I love the way I can guess what you’re thinking by the blush in your cheeks. I love
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“I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. I know you’re not used to someone keeping his promises. And I know it’s going to take time for me to break down all those walls, but damn it, Sylvia, you’re going to let me try. You’re going to let me stick around. And you’re going to let me love you, and prove to you that we can build something so real and so strong, it’s unbreakable.”
“You came looking for me. That very first night you were home, you came looking for me. I’ll never forget that.” “I must have known.” I couldn’t help smiling. “You must have known.” He briefly pressed his lips to mine. “And I knew it too, that very same night. When I walked you back home through the snow and stood there with you on the porch, I never wanted to kiss someone so badly in all my life.”
“This is real, isn’t it? The way we feel? Even though it happened so quickly and unexpectedly?” “It’s real, Sylvia. Trust me.” Then he smiled. “Trust you.”
I imagined it all—a summer day full of sunshine, a garden full of vegetables, a yard full of kids and animals, boisterous shouts and good-natured teasing, a home full of laughter and life . . . Henry and I, together. I saw it so clearly, there was no doubt in my mind it would happen.
