The Twelve Dates of Christmas
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Read between December 29, 2023 - January 8, 2024
17%
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“With your permission,” he said. “I’d like to leave with a taste of what could have been if things were different.”
Giana
This is the worst way I’ve ever seen someone ask for a kiss
21%
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I was too proud to let her dream job dictation where we lived.”
Giana
Is this grammatically correct?
30%
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“You want to take my girlfriend with you on a date night, as your wing woman?” “Yes,” said Kate. “Although you make it sound creepy.
Giana
How does it sound creepy?
30%
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“Give her a break, Matt,” said Sarah. “You make it sound like Kate’s the only person who’s ever used a dating website. And I know for a fact that you were on one before we met.” Kate was aghast. “You hypocrite!” she said. “You’ve been giving me grief this whole time.”
Giana
Matt sounds like a terrible friend tbh
30%
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“And besides,” said Sarah. “I do have a mind of my own. I’m not going to forget I’ve got a boyfriend just because there are men in the room. It’s called self-control, Matt.” Matt was flustered; he rubbed his hand through his hair and it stayed stuck up in the air like the worst kind of bed hair. “But this is set up with a view to people copping off,” he said. “At a pub quiz?” said Kate. “Are you this terrified at the Duke’s Head quiz? Perhaps you think Sarah might pounce on Steve or Gavin?” Matt looked sulky.
Giana
Jealousy ain’t cute mate
32%
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“Oh no,” said Kate. “I can’t believe that. That’s not Matt at all. He would never cheat. I can tell you that much with absolute conviction.” “No no no,” said Sarah, holding her hands up. “God no, you misunderstand me. I mean, it’s like there’s someone from before and their memory is preventing him from being fully invested with me; like he’s dipping his toe in but can’t go any further.”
Giana
Least subtle foreshadowing and I hate all of this
34%
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Should she tell Oliver that Sarah was still nursing a broken heart over him?
Giana
Wtf no!!!!! You barely know him and she’s dating one of your best friends!
34%
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“I’m going to wet myself!” Kate exclaimed, far too loudly.
Giana
I’ll leave this one here
34%
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this mystery
34%
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“Not even for a bit of fun?” said Laura, making obscene gestures with her hands. “It’s been a while, Kate. He could brush away the cobwebs for you!” “Laura, you have no boundaries at the dinner table.”
Giana
This is such an old person thing to say when you’re alone with your best friend like do y’all Not talk about this stuff?
35%
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The aroma was more than she could bear; her mouth watered. Luckily, she was prepared. She grabbed the extra bar from the cupboard, tore away the foil, and snapped off a glistening dark umber chunk of chocolate, making mmmm sounds to herself as it melted on her tongue.
Giana
Why is this so dramatic?
36%
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just because some guy had made her ovaries swoon.
Giana
mmmk
38%
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“I’m not,” Kate replied. “I’m hiking tomorrow. Tonight is a different date, not part of the twelve dates.” Matt blustered. “What, two dates in two days?” he said. “Since when did you become the date police?” asked Kate. “It’s that Richard bloke, isn’t it,” said Matt. “The one with the cauliflower ear.” “Not that it matters,” said Kate. “But he doesn’t have cauliflower ear. And yes, it is that Richard bloke: hero of the hour.” “Ooh, all hail Richard!” said Matt in a snarky voice. “If he hadn’t come to my rescue, I’d have had to call you,” said Kate. “I’d have let you freeze,” said Matt. “Then ...more
Giana
Like this doesn’t sound like playful banter, this seems so mean spirited
39%
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“You can invite someone to mine,” said Kate. “You know you’re always welcome to bring guests. It was your house before it was mine.” “But this is different,” he said. “I would like this guest to not eat dinner in the house I used to share with your mother.” Kate spluttered into her tea. “Dad, are we talking about a woman guest?” Mac winced. “How would you feel about that?” he asked, avoiding the question and Kate’s eyes.
Giana
Ugh
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“Eurgh,” moaned Kate. “What’s wrong with me? I hate that I can’t just say no whenever he’s in trouble.” “Funny,” said Laura. “That’s exactly what he said to me about you!”
Giana
This is supposed to be setting up their relationship but that’s just called being a friend
41%
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“Oughtn’t you to be asking Sarah to do it with you?” Kate asked. “Nah,” said Matt. “It’s not really her thing, she’s not quite as outdoorsy as you. Not unless it involves a rooftop bar.”
Giana
Ooh Kate isn’t like other girls
41%
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“I don’t suppose you could . . .” “I’ve got a date tonight, remember?” said Kate. “And another one first thing tomorrow morning. I really haven’t got time. I’m sorry.” Matt looked at her with big amber-flecked eyes and she felt instantly guilty. “That’s all right,” he said. “It was worth a try.” That made her feel even worse. “Couldn’t Sarah help?” she asked. “She’s staying at her mum’s tonight; the weather’s quite bad there, so she doesn’t want to drive home in the dark,” Matt replied. “Look,” said Kate. “I’ll give you my truffle recipes.” Matt screwed his face up and ran his hand through his ...more
Giana
He just really seems like he doesn’t care about her
44%
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“How old is your son?” asked Kate. She had imagined him to be no older than primary school age. “He’ll be twenty-two in the spring,” he said.
Giana
Isn’t skate like 32? This is a weird age gap for
51%
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The night beasts were awake and screeching their annoyance at the two lumbering humans on their patch;
Giana
wtf
55%
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A few saucy texts doesn’t entitle him to the keys to your knickers—unless of course you want him to have them.” “It’s been so long,” said Kate. “I don’t remember where the keys are!”
Giana
This feels like such an old lady thing to say
55%
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“Oh no!” said Jim covering his face in horror. “Oh, the shame of it!”
Giana
I hate these like indirect euphemisms for facial expressions like wdym you covered your face in horror? Did you like coat it on or is it more of a mask type situation?
55%
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“Oh, no such epiphany, I’m afraid,” said Kate. “I am a walking cliché of just haven’t met the right man yet. Boring, huh?”
Giana
What does this mean?
57%
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“You see, most of the people who’ve signed up are genuine, like you,” said the rep. “But there is a certain element who have formed a Twelve Shags of Christmas betting ring.” “Jim?” said Kate. “Among others,” said the rep. “We’ve been expelling the culprits as we discover them, but Jim has been hard to pin down. We can’t take action until we have evidence and so far, all of Jim’s dates have left with him willingly.”
Giana
What is happening 😭😭
57%
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“What about the woman outside?” Kate asked. “She seems too drunk to make good decisions.” “I’ve already called her a cab and the barman is going to make sure she gets in the car alone,” said the rep. “The second you submit your form we can exclude Jim from the restaurant.”
Giana
a) this is like some weird spy shit out of nowhere b) what does “exclude him from the restaurant” mean?
57%
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“He is going to be so pissed,” said Kate. She smiled broadly. “I wonder how much money he’s got riding on getting a full house?” “The last I heard,” said the rep, “the jackpot was up to five grand. Each participant has to put two hundred pounds in the pot to join, and then they can bet more depending on how confident they are.” “Jim seemed pretty confident,” said Kate. “I reckon he’s bet himself high.” “We can only hope.” The rep smiled.
Giana
Why did this turn into like an illegal betting ring out of nowhere 😭
58%
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“So, you’re saying even my great-granny Peggy would have experienced unwanted sexual advances?” said Matt.
Giana
Man learns about what it’s like to be a woman
58%
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And Kate could no longer deny that she loved him. As impossible and implausible as that love might be, it was love and there was nothing to be done about it.
Giana
I mean I know the book was trying to sent this up the whole time but also where did this come from???
62%
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“Did you?” Matt’s tone was acerbic. “Or did you know Oliver was going to be there and you took Sarah there on purpose?” “Why the hell would I do that?” “I don’t know!” Matt’s voice was getting louder. “Maybe you were jealous?” “Jealous?” she shouted. “Why would I be jealous?” “Because I’m happy and you’re not!” said Matt. “Don’t be so stupid!” Kate yelled. “I am stupid if I thought you’d have my back. Had a good laugh to yourself, did you? Stupid old Matt, chasing a woman who’s in love with her old boyfriend!”
Giana
See what is this man’s deal??????
65%
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How many combinations can there be of four numbers?” she said brightly. “Ten thousand,” said Edward.
Giana
This is simply not true??? If you know the four numbers and the numbers are not allowed to repeat there are 24 possible combinations. He means there are 10,000 possible four digit combinations if you don’t know any of the numbers and repetition is allowed
67%
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“You spoke to my date, didn’t you?” said Kate. “Frightened him off.” For a moment Richard’s face was a mask. Kate could imagine his thought processes: Laugh it off? Play it cool? Be honest? But he recovered his composure. “It was just a bit of fun,” said Richard. “I didn’t mean anything by it!”
Giana
He also sounds like a terrible person and I stg if she doesn’t notice the red flags here
67%
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This probably isn’t my place but I would advise caution where Richard is concerned. I don’t think he’s what he appears. All the best Edward Kate decided to ignore Edward’s parting comment. He’d only met Richard once;
Giana
GIRL
68%
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Kate sighed. Part of her agreed with Laura, and ordinarily behavior like his last night would have spelled the end of any man for her, but right now she needed something, anything, to take her mind off Matt. She knew Richard wasn’t the cure, but maybe he could numb the pain for a little while: a human paracetamol.
Giana
The answer to getting away from one toxic man isn’t starting up with another. He tried to physically block your path! He seems low key potentially dangerous
69%
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Kate noticed the way the waitress looked at Richard: all hooded eyes and suggestive red lips that pouted whenever he spoke to her.
Giana
Why are waitresses in romance books always painted at these evil seductresses? Leave them be, they’re just trying to earn a living, I promise 99% of the time they have no interest in your man 😭
72%
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Adam looked around the stunned, silent dining hall. He flicked his hair back and stalked out of the room with his nose in the air. Kate grinned. The other couples grinned back. “Do you think I’m still in with a chance?” she asked. The hall exploded into laughter. Kate found herself the recipient of a round of applause.
Giana
Oh my god and everyone clapped 😭😭🥴
73%
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“When he heard that you were intending to stay away longer, he told me to forget it,” said Laura. “I told him to email you, tell you how he felt, apologize for being such a dick. But you know how stubborn he is. He got all angry, embarrassed probably, and he made me promise not to tell you. He said he never should have come in the first place.”
Giana
Yeah this is still a red flag
74%
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“I’d like to know how!” interrupted her mum. “I was bare-breasted when they burst in on us. It was pure luck I had a G-string on to cover my Aunty Mary. We’ve been working our way through the Kama Sutra . . .”
Giana
You can’t convince me people actually talk like this to their kids
76%
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She wrapped up appropriately for the arctic temperature
Giana
British people will say this when it’s above freezing
86%
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to hoover the house twice while listening to Christmas
87%
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“I don’t want to waste any more time,” said Matt. “We’ve wasted enough already. I love you, Kate. And you bloody well love me too, I know you do. So stop being such a stubborn arse and—”
Giana
This is not an apology