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Panther, I’d appreciate it if you tried harder not to get killed. I can’t beat you if you’re dead. ~Solo
Just before I knocked out, one question lingered in my mind: why hadn’t Solo come to see me?
“I gotta say, I much prefer the way you looked the last time I saw you in a bed than this.”
So, fancy meeting you here.” And just like that, my day got a little brighter.
“If you ever scare me again like that again, I will hunt you down and fucking kill you myself. You got it, lieutenant?”
When it came to dealing with the tough stuff, it was either shut down or make a fucking joke. I’d already spent two days staring at the wall, so it was well past time to move on to phase two.
“I see a man I wasn’t looking for. A man I didn’t even know was there, until right now. And Solo?” “Yeah?” “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than sitting with him in this car right now, holding his hand.”
“What the hell happened to you up there in that plane?” I nipped at his lower lip, and when Solo moaned and opened for me, I whispered, “I realized what’s important.”
“Hmm…you look a little dazed and confused, lieutenant.” “That’s an apt description. Throw in ‘hard as a rock’ and you basically have me in a nutshell.”
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“Like you said, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than sitting in this car, sharing this meal, with a man I never knew I was looking for until today.”
“Well, you know where the door is. If you want to leave, leave. I’m not making you stay.” And damn it, even as every instinct in my body said to get up and get out, I rolled to my back and said, “But how would I know you were okay?”
He’d chased the nightmares away for now, and maybe with him sleeping beside me, they’d stay gone for good.
“You can go for now. But Panther? Don’t think I won’t come and steal you back later.”
“The only thing I would regret tomorrow morning was if I woke up and you weren’t there.”
How in the world he ever thought he could look weak was beyond me. To me, he’d never looked stronger. He looked like a man who had faced death head-on and come out on the other side alive, and that strength and power made me want to fall to my fucking knees for him.
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Everything about this moment, this coming together, was elemental. It was more than I’d ever experienced with another human being, and if I never felt this way again, I could die knowing I’d touched the sky right there in his arms, without getting in a plane to do so.
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It may not have been the match we expected, but I had a feeling it would be one none of us would soon forget.
I took in a shaky breath and wondered how smart it was to admit to your competition that the love you once had for flying had been replaced. I also wondered how smart it was to admit it had been replaced with a love for the one sitting in front of me.
Most people came to NAFTA to prove they were the best in the world at a job only a handful of people could do. The problem was, now that I knew, I no longer wanted it.
“You’re a nightmare sometimes. You really are. And I know that’s what you want everyone to think of you because it makes it easier to not get hurt. I get that. But just so you know, I really like the guy behind the mask. And sometimes, I think he likes me too.”
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This man, this beautiful, brazen, defiant man, had changed everything for me. He had told me to throw the rules out tonight, but when it came to him, I found rules no longer applied. Don’t have sex with men in the military—broke that. Don’t fraternize with the competition—broke that one too. Don’t let your father know you're seeing a fellow pilot—blew through that one also. And don’t fall in love with the gorgeous pilot with the heartbreaker smile—was doing that right now.
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