Priceless

by Miranda Silver

“A companion?” I began to pace. Patrick didn’t move a muscle. Picking up a pool cue, I tapped it on the ground. “Are you, like, ninety years old? Do you need me to help you cross the street?”

The silence stretched as we ate. I couldn’t take it. “Ssshhhh, kids.” I held a finger to my lips. “Mommy and Daddy are having quiet time right now.” “You’re a sarcastic bitch.” He grinned at me. “I like it.”

when my standards are so low that he pays her for sex and says she was perfect and i’m swooning

“This is your car?” He unlocked the door manually and opened it for me. “What did you expect?” “The Batmobile. A pit of evil. Something on the level of your nice watch.”

You deserve a man who treats you like a queen, Christina. Don’t settle for anything less.”

Maria, Ashley, and I were cool with being the orbit to her sun. When that sun went dark or imploded, I was the one who picked up the pieces and helped her put them back together.

Patrick leaned against the wall, his gaze skating over me. I’d thought he was a wild animal when we met, pretending to be tame for his own purposes. Now I was the animal, pacing his room, while he waited patiently for me to come to him.

Patrick leaned back, his eyes narrowed. They weren’t ice anymore, or even water. They were colorless steam, hot with lust.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” “What does that mean?” “You don’t know?” I knew. He’d wanted me since our eyes met at that party in November. As much as I’d wanted him. He’d been wanting me for months.

“You want reassurance, babe?” He pushed, and I moaned at the sudden fullness. I squirmed under him, trying to lift my hips, my pussy clinging to his thick shaft. His hands tightened cruelly on my ass. “You feel like heaven. And it makes me want to give you hell.”

“Why are you playing games with me?” I hissed. “To get at the truth. It's harder to pretend in the dark. Maybe that's why you run away from it.”

“What are you so afraid of?” His voice was seductive, beckoning, inviting. “Be in the dark with me.”

“You really are perfect, Christina. You’re everything I hoped for and more.”

“I’m not interested in having someone who doesn’t belong to me,” he whispered against my mouth. He licked my tongue. I heard my own thready breath. “I’m not interested in fucking a liar. I cum that much harder, knowing you’re mine.”

Obsession wasn’t pretty. It was an ugly, all-consuming thing. The drive to create a world that only held two people, to escape reality, to blot out the rest of life.

This was a girl who always tried so hard. This was a girl who put other people first. But she wasn’t nice at all underneath.

It was hard to imagine Christina listening to someone else for hours. The girl needed to talk like she needed air to breathe.

I threw my phone across the room. It hit the wall and landed on the floor.

me when i get a text from my crush

Inside, on my end of the top shelf, stood a bottle of fresh-squeezed orange juice that had definitely not been there before. Next to the orange juice was a container of strawberries. A box of banana nut muffins sat on the counter by the paper towels. “‘I’m not your boyfriend, Christina, I’m not here for that shit,’” I mimicked under my breath. I leaned on the fridge door, giddy, like in the bridal shop. I giggled at the orange juice.

I waited for the camera to pan and give me a glimpse of her. To make sure she was healthy, that’s all. I didn’t want anything to interfere with our time together next week. A cascade of dark hair swirled into view, surrounding her beaming smile. I couldn’t look away. She was lit up. Radiant. Genuinely happy.

Christina complained that her parents were always in her business, but I’d waited four years for my dad to look at me.

I caught one more glimpse of Christina, a tease of her profile, and had the urge to sink into her. After class on Tuesday, when I was facing almost a week without her, I’d buried my face in my pillow to smell her. She was splashed all over my sheets, fresh, sweet and musky.

A little bird told me it’s your birthday. I smiled; I couldn’t help it. Who told her? Probably James Ulloa. He thought I already knew. I went along with it. “C’mon, let’s play,” Eddie said. So…happy birthday, Patrick. I closed my eyes. I could smell her. That’s right, girl. Wish me a happy birthday. Make today a good day.

I’d sketched Christina a lot over the past few weeks, and the drawings weren’t the sexless nudes you’d do in an art class. They were right after we fucked, and it showed on every inch of her skin. She was shameless now. Magnetic.

I was afraid of how much I wanted her. In every way.

I had her in the palm of my hand. But fuck, she had me in hers too.

You have a guy who carries you off the court after you make everyone fall down, and he doesn’t even look at other girls. It’s like you’re the only one he can see.”

Patrick did a distinct face-palm. “You,” he said to me, shaking his head. “Yep! Me,” I agreed.

“We talked about this, Christina,” Patrick said softly. “I said if you’re wasted…” “I’m not wasted!” I reached up to tickle his chin. “Who’s ticklish? Ooh, you are, I know you are. Come on, have some fun with us.” “Jesus Christ,” he muttered, but he was smiling.

“Patrick?” I reached for his hand. “What is it, babe?” He smiled down at me.

why did the “he smiled down at me” make me fall more in love with him

I can’t afford you, but you’re worth it.”

“You’re perfect,” he crooned, hypnotic. “You’re such a good little whore. You want me to put a price on the way you come? Or the blush on your skin when I tell you the truth? How cute you are when you cry, because you’re so overwhelmed by the way I fuck you? How much you love it when I hurt you a little? How much I love it when you snarl at me in bed? I can’t. You’re priceless. You were made for me.”

He pulled back. I leaned forward. Just like our first kiss.

“I want all of you.” He gripped my hair. “You don’t understand what that means.”

I wanted everything, I wanted to have her and destroy her at the same time.

She stared at me, her gaze dark as coal. By now, I knew Christina’s body intimately. I’d never seen her so silent or so still.

“I had a fantasy about you tonight,” I went on. “You ran after me when I left your place, and — you hugged me. You just gave me a hug.” “Do you really want that?” He looked so surprised that my heart cracked. “Yes.” He pulled me into his arms. I held him tight and buried my face in his wet T-shirt. The back of my raincoat crumpled in his hand. “Christina,” he whispered, stroking my hair. As he rubbed his knuckles against my cheek, his ring moved over my skin, oddly soothing.

He tensed in my arms. “Because you don’t want me. You think you do, but you don’t.” “Great. Next time I want to know what I’m truly thinking, I’ll consult you.”

“The whole campus knows about us. Guys in your frat confronted me in the hall outside your room.” His face went dark. “I’ll deal with them later.” I dropped my hands and walked up close to him. “You didn’t hear? We were right outside your door. They told me to leave, and you didn’t even come out to defend my honor. I guess you don’t think I have any.” Suddenly his mouth sagged. As if I’d slapped him with my words the way his frat bros had done to me. “I didn’t hear you, Christina.” “You had your fingers in your ears?” “Headphones.”

“you had your fingers in your ears” LMAO

“Patrick?” She sounded dazed. “Why’d you pay my sister to sleep with you?” He blinked at me. I folded my arms. “I don’t know,” he said finally. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Everything has its price.” “Nah. You're priceless.”

Patrick you kill me

“Your heart's beating so fast,” I whispered. “You do that to me, Christina.”

“Come on. I can't even believe Sydney thinks I put a spell on Dexter. My sister is the one who bewitches guys. Not me.” “You have no idea how much power you have, do you?” My breath whooshed out. “Me?” I asked in a small voice. “You drive me crazy. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”

“I love you.” His rough voice pulled an involuntary sound from me. “You're mine, Christina. You always have been, from the first time I touched you.”

It was pure fucking emotion. It was — happiness. That I'd found a man who understood me so well. Who I fit with. Who knew what I wanted, those darkest, most secret desires, and could make them come true. Who I could make so happy in return, give him what he wanted and needed. What we shared was valuable. Priceless.

this is like the moment in a show when they mention the title in such an emotional way and i’m like wow so incredibly awestruck

I rolled off of him to look up at the blackness of the ceiling. “Remember when you said the dark is your oldest friend?” He rested his fingers on my wrist. “Only because you can depend on the light to come.” Impulsively, I sat up, reached over to my desk, and turned on the lamp. In the sudden light, we both blinked. Patrick looked surprised, but smiling, his blue eyes like a windless lake — the happiest I’d ever seen him. “I just needed to look at your face,” I explained. For a minute, we gazed at each other. Then he pulled me down and kissed me. I flicked off the light and lay in the dark with my love, while our future stretched out, open and free.

This is such a beautiful evening. But life doesn’t always glitter like this. People don’t always glitter like this, either. It can be hard to realize that. To really be with someone and see all the parts that don't shine and glow, as well as the parts that do. It can be even harder to let the person you love see your own dark shadows. But it’s not just about the gold — or the shadows. Love is everything all together. The dark and the light. The whole truth. Given freely.